We took off and I settled in for a long trip.  It would give me some time to try and get my thoughts and feelings about J, and going home sorted out.  As much as it thrilled my body to be close to him, my head and heart weren’t thrilled.  He had been the love of my life; breaking up with him had devastated me.  We had many nasty run-ins after we separated, and it had crushed me to watch him go through woman after woman.  After I moved, I’d never heard from him, and had not intended to see him again.  My heart was still fragile; I hadn’t given it away since he shattered it and I wasn’t sure it could cope with being near him again.  The heart wants what it wants.  Often we have no say over who it chooses, and I was just trusting and hoping like hell that my heart knew that J had the power to break me again.

Chapter 9

Jason

I leaned into the doorframe of the clubhouse bar, crossed my arms in front of me and settled back to watch the duel between Scott and Madison.  We had arrived back not fifteen minutes ago and they were already at it.

“I don’t want you going to see Crystal now because I can’t go with you.  Gotta be somewhere else.” Scott was getting really pissed off, but then again, when wasn’t he pissed off with Madison.

Madison shot back, “I’m quite capable of going by myself.”

My eyes wandered down to her hips where she had placed her hands.  She had on the tightest fucking jeans and all the assholes in here were mentally undressing her.  I wanted to tell them to all fuck off, but I had no right to those thoughts anymore.

Scott was pacing now.  Jesus Christ, if he was like this with his sister, what the fuck would he be like with an old lady?  He didn’t do relationships and that was probably a good thing because his over protectiveness wouldn’t be appreciated by many women.  I should fucking know.  I had those tendencies too, and it had caused no end of fucking problems between Madison and I when we were together.

“Fuck it,” Scott swore, and tipped his chin in my direction, “J will go with you then.”

I pushed off from my leaning spot and walked towards them.  Madison swung around to face me; she wasn’t pleased.

“J doesn’t have to go with me.” She looked wildly around the room until her gaze stopped on Stoney who was sitting in the corner.  She jabbed a finger towards him, “Stoney can go with me.”

“I will go with you, Madison.” I growled.  “Get your stuff and we can leave now.”

“Madison.”  We all stopped and turned at the voice of our President.  Marcus Cole was a commanding presence and I watched Madison shrink a little.  She had always had a difficult relationship with her father.  He was a man used to being in control and unfortunately for him, had raised a daughter who was too much like him, so they were constantly arguing.

She composed herself.  “Dad.”

“Go with J for fuck’s sake.  Not sure why you have to always fucking argue with everything.”  He could be a bastard sometimes and I squeezed my fists, itching to punch him for being so harsh to her.

“Nice to see you too,” she seethed.

Marcus ignored her and turned to me, “Take her to see Crystal and then bring her back here.  I want her staying at the clubhouse until we find where Nix is at.”  With that he strode out of the room without a backwards glance at Madison.  She looked hurt, and I fought the urge to pull her close and wrap my arms around her.  Instead, I silently stayed where I was, waiting for her to make the next move.

“Nothing much changes around here, does it?” she asked no one in particular and threw her hands in the air.  “Fuck!  Is it any wonder I didn’t want to come home?” She directed this one at me.

Shit, I didn’t want to get into family fucking politics right now.  It had been a long day and it wasn’t over yet.  I pointed at the front door, “Time to go,” I said, walking towards it and then looked back over my shoulder at Scott, “I’ll check in with you later, see where we’re at.”

He nodded.  “Yeah. Later, brother.”

*****

Madison

Well, my father hadn’t changed much since I last saw him; still as controlling as ever.  He and Scott were the same; how the hell was I going to get through this visit?  And J.  Well, that was a whole other headache.  I was so confused about him right now, and he was giving me mixed signals.  One minute he was bossing me around and the next he was looking at me like he used to.

I followed him outside and walked to his bike while he stopped and spoke with a guy I had never seen before.  They discussed something in hushed tones and I could tell from J’s facial expressions that he wasn’t happy with whatever was being said.  He muttered something at the guy before shaking his head at him in disgust.  This couldn’t be good.

“What was that all about?”I asked as he approached me.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” he dismissed me.

I felt my blood boil.  “Why do you, Scott and Dad do that?  Why can’t you just answer my questions and tell me what is happening?”

J turned his angry eyes to me, “Not everything is about you, Madison.  Seems to be something you still haven’t figured out.”

“Yes, I know that, but with what is happening at the moment, I figured it might be about Nix.  And that is about me,” I had raised my voice and was breathless with rage.  I didn’t know if this anger was coming from my current frustrations or whether it was old hurt resurfacing.  J had cut me deep and I had buried it for so long, not allowing myself to really feel it because I knew the power it held over me.  The power to break me again.