While my sister finishes the bedtime process, I wander downstairs to the kitchen. My brother-in-law, Dean, is the head of security at the Galleria Shopping Center. One of the new guys flaked on him so he’s covering a night shift. He called earlier to ask me to stay the night and watch over his family.

Dean’s a great guy—normal, middle class, decent. I’ve offered him a job at Willits a hundred times and he’s turned every one down. He’s never said he wanted to support his family on his own, but I know that’s why he refuses to work for Willits. I admire that and his indulgence in expensive whiskey. I pour myself a good dose over a couple ice cubes. I need it after spending the evening with Ronnie curled up on my lap.

My sister comes down a few moments later. I raise my glass in her direction. “Want some?”

“No. I’m going to make myself some tea.” She fills a pot in the sink and sets it on the stove. “I don’t need the liquor to dull my pain as I have none.”

She doesn’t have to even look at me for the arrow to hit home.

“Ouch,” I say, clutching my chest dramatically. “What did I do to deserve that remark?”

She flicks the stove on before turning to me with a look of incredulity that she’s perfected in her five years as a mother. “You’re thirty-three, Jonas. You love children. You should have three of your own by now instead of coming over here once a week and pretending Ronnie is yours.”

“Not you, too.” I didn’t pour enough booze into my glass to withstand this topic with my sister.

“Yes, me, too. And you know things are getting bad when the old bat calls me for help.”

“I hope you made her pay for it.”

“She’s sending a check to Ronnie’s college fund tomorrow.”

“I’ll make sure of it.”

The whistle on the teakettle blows, interrupting our fun little exchange, but, unfortunately, it’s only a slight cease fire before my sister has her tea made and she’s volleying more charges in my direction. “We think you should sign up for a matchmaker since you won’t date.”

“No.”

“Jonas.”

“Melody.”

She blows out an exasperated sigh. “This is ridiculous. I don’t mean to minimize your loss, baby brother. I thought Darby was perfect for you and I’m glad you chose her over all the socialites Gran paraded, but Darby is gone. It’s been three years. You’ve spent millions trying to recover her body. I hate saying this to you because I know it hurts, but you are too good of a man to be alone for the rest of your life. You love children. You and Darby talked about having a family big enough to field a softball team, which at the time I told you was crazy, and now because you’ve lost her, you’re going to live a life of isolation? That’s terrible. She would not want that for you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Jonas, if the roles were reversed and Darby lived and not you, are you saying you would want her to be single and childless?”

I think about it for a moment because if I were dead and Darby was on this earth pregnant it would mean another man had been inside of her and—

“Are you hesitating?” my sister screeches.

“Of course I’d want Darby to be happy.” Maybe Darby could adopt. If I was dead and she wanted kids, adoption would be the way to go. Maybe I should adopt. I roll the glass between my palms and consider this new idea. “I’m happy,” I finally say.

“Oh my God. You are not happy. You are barely functioning. All you do is work and carry out Gran’s horrible orders to make the company bigger and better. If anything, Willits is your child. You’re a dad to a corporation!”

“I’m going to adopt,” I announce, having decided on my new course of action. “You’re right. I want to be a dad, but since I’m not going to marry anyone, adoption is the route. I’ll start looking into it tomorrow.”

Melody slams down her cup of tea and stomps over to her purse. She pulls out a small cream-colored envelope and slaps it against my chest. “Fine, but first, you’re going to the Wards’ house party.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I told them that you would in exchange for one of their ponies for Ronnie.”

“You whored me out for a pony?” I stare at the invitation like it’s a snake.

“Yeah and what about it?”

 

 

Chapter 4

Darby

 

 

I pick the glass up, inspecting it in the light for spots. I smile when I don’t see a drop on it and go to the next. The new industrial dishwasher is amazing. I’m doing one last check on things before I head back to our place for the night.

I was happy that I didn't have to work the event tonight. Jax usually gets me out of most of them. The event planners normally bring a staff with them to do the bulk of the work anyway.

I’m lucky in that aspect because it means I don’t need to stay to attend the events. In saying that, I still prefer to check some of the details and make sure the night gets started off well before I head out. I always want to make sure the events are as perfect as they can be. The Wards have done so much for me that this is the least I can do to give back.

“Do you want more, Jackers?”

I look over my shoulder at Gia, who is putting more mashed potatoes onto Jax’s plate. He kicks his feet, taking a giant mouthful. I swear he’s going to be a giant at the rate he’s growing. My mind wanders to what his dad might look like.

I turn back to the glasses when I feel my eyes start to fill with tears. It saddens me that Jax will never know who his dad is. While I’ve accepted it for myself, I still feel sad that he won’t have the opportunity.

“What are you doing tonight?” Gia asks, sitting down in a chair next to Jax. Her hand goes to her belly, rubbing the small bump.

“You know me. A wild night out.”

She snorts a laugh. “Lies. I can never get you to go out. Ooh. Do you have some show you’re going to binge watch after you put Jax to bed? Maybe I’ll join you.”

“Shouldn't you be out there?” I put the glass down, checking another. I know Gia hates the events as much as I do, but she is a Ward. I’m sure her brother expects her to at least show her face.

“Nah. I’m using this baby to get out of it.” She rubs her stomach.

“It’s a little early for that excuse.” I laugh. My eyes linger on her belly. I miss being pregnant. Except I don’t want to go back to not having Jax. I really enjoyed being pregnant.

Gia thinks I’m crazy when I tell her that. I also didn't throw up or get all bloated. It was easy sailing for me. Even the birth of Jax wasn’t too bad. The only thing that sucked was being alone.

“Well, I’m only having this one, so I’m milking it.”

“Or do you not want to go because your husband isn't going?”

“If he gets out of it, I should too!”

I fight a laugh. “He’s working,” I remind her.

“I know. He wouldn't let me go with him. He thinks the barn gets too hot.” She rolls her eyes. It is early spring. I think she’d be okay, but Evan is not messing around when it comes to Gia being pregnant. In his defense, she does throw up often.