“She can focus on a career later, if she wants one,” Alex argues.

“If she wants a career? You think she won’t?”

He lifts his good shoulder in response.

“She could’ve moved here, dropped out of college, and sponged off you, but she doesn’t. She pays rent, and she actually thinks it’s going toward the mortgage.”

“Putting money into stocks for her is a good financial investment.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t. But she very easily could’ve shacked up with Buck and not paid rent at all. She chose not to. Just like I chose to live in that shitty apartment for a while with my stinky, metal-loving stalker neighbor. Just like I want to keep my job in some capacity, at least for a few more years until I get used to all of this.” I gesture to the room and the massive bed we’re lying on.

“I don’t want to take away the things that make you you, Violet.” Alex seems distressed, maybe by the parallels I’ve drawn between me and Sunny. “That’s never been my intention. I want to build us a life that’s going to allow you to do all the things you want and more.”

I touch his pretty, beat-up face. “I know that. It’s just… It can be scary being engaged to a man who can give me everything, because this is all I have.” I gesture to my rack, trying to lift the weight of this conversation.

Alex doesn’t take the bait. “Baby, you underestimate how incredible you are. Even though it’s a challenge and sometimes seriously inconvenient for me, I love that you assert your independence, that you have your own mind.”

His acknowledgement makes me feel all warm and gooey, liked melted caramels. “So you get that Sunny needs to be her own person. She doesn’t want to be defined by who she’s with, either. It’s kind of the reason she was hesitant to date Buck in the first place.”

“She was hesitant about Miller because he fucked anything with a pulse.”

“Okay, fine. That was part of it. But she wants to take care of herself, not have everyone else do it for her. And she didn’t want to end up being like your mom.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the way my mom did things.”

“Maybe the way your mom did things was right for her, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. Isn’t it for Sunny to decide what’s right for her?”

“Of course it is. But babies change things, Violet. Priorities change.”

He has a point. “Okay. I can see that. Maybe she’ll decide to forgo the career and have enough children to start a hockey team.” I shudder at the possibility of shooting multiple kids out of my vagina.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Do you have any idea what happens to a vagina when a litter of babies are pushed out of it? I don’t want to end up with a baggy beaver.”

“You won’t end up with a baggy beaver from having a few kids.”

“A few?” He’s said something similar before. I want to know what constitutes a few. “As in more than two?”

“I kind of like the idea of a big family.” Alex skims the side of my boob with his fingertips.

I prop myself up on an arm so I can look him directly in the eye. “When you say big, what do you mean, exactly?”

Alex looks unsure of himself. “I don’t know. Four kids seems reasonable, maybe more.”

“Four?” If I sound incredulous, it’s because I am.

“You think that’s too many?”

“Uh, I’ll definitely have a baggy beaver if I push four kids out.”

“Things go back to normal.”

“No, they don’t.”

“Come on, Violet. It can’t really be that bad.”

“Is that you hypothesizing, since you can’t actually push a hockey puck out of your dick hole?”

Alex cringes, which I can understand. The image I’ve created is rather unappealing.

“You’re still tight like you were the first time we had sex, and we’ve been together for more than a year. You’d think if I was going to stretch things out, it would’ve happened already.”

He’s got a half-smug, half-horny smirk on his half-healed face.

“Yeah, but you’re comparing a beer can to a watermelon. It’s not the same thing. I can see after pushing one watermelon out, things might go back to mostly normal, and maybe you wouldn’t notice much beaver bagginess. But after three or four, things aren’t going to be the same.”

He gives me this look, like he thinks I’m being dramatic.

“Haven’t you seen that documentary with that female porn star who had all that anal sex? She had a nice, normal Area 51 until it wasn’t nice and normal anymore. Now it’s all loose and baggy, just like my beaver would be if I happened to pop out a hockey team’s worth of babies.”

“So you don’t want a big family?”

“I’m an only child, Alex. I think I turned out almost okay even though I never had a sibling until I was in my teens. I figure if I have two kids, they’ll drive each other nuts, and they won’t be lonely or have to deal with either one of us without backup when we’re old and crotchety.”

“What about compromising at three?”

“Odd numbers don’t work for me. I don’t like them. If your team number was odd, I think I might not have found you all that attractive.”