I stood waiting for him to finish his conversation; the intensity of his glare stirring up the butterflies in my stomach.  That glare was a mixture of heat, desire, frustration, annoyance and so much more.  I felt the exact same things that he was projecting.  However, in that moment, my annoyance at his attitude outweighed my desire to be with him.

He ended his call and put his phone back in his pocket.  “I’ve got to be at the clubhouse in an hour.  Are we going to do this or not?”

Un-fucking-believable.  “I can’t believe you just said that.  No, we’re not doing this,” I snapped, and reached into my bag to get my phone out.

He stepped into my space and placed his hand over mine, stopping me.  “I’m not sure what the fuck happened in your mind between the club and here, babe.  Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to fuck about so I’ll just take you home, but this is a conversation that needs to be finished at some point.”

I shook my head.  “No, I’ll find my own way home, and this is not a conversation that needs to be revisited.  You’ve made your intentions pretty clear.”

His nostrils flared and his breathing grew ragged.  “I’m taking you home, Madison.”  He made his way back to his bike and tried to pass me the helmet.  “Put this on and get on the bike.”

My eyes widened.  I wasn’t used to J talking to me like this.  Ignoring him, I scrolled through my phone looking for the phone number of my only friend who hadn’t been out drinking with me tonight; hopefully she’d be able to come and pick me up.  I finally found her number and hit dial, returning the glare that J was sending my way.  She finally answered her call and agreed to come and get me.

J folded his arms across his chest and planted his feet wide.  He was angry now and didn’t hold back.  “Why the fuck couldn’t you just let me take you home?”

“Because you’re being a prick and I don’t want to be anywhere near you,” I threw back.

“So now I’ve got to wait here until your friend arrives.  Would have been a lot easier to do it my way.”

“No-one’s asking you to stay!”

“Jesus, Madison.  As if I’d fucking leave you alone at this time of the night.”

I was exasperated.  On the one hand, I wanted to punch him, but on the other hand I wanted to rip his clothes off and screw him.

The next ten minutes were ten of the longest minutes in my life.  We didn’t speak while we waited for Sally to come and get me.  Instead, J paced and threw me a foul look every now and then.  I sank further into my disappointment.  When she pulled up, I quickly got in her car without a backwards glance at J.  I could feel his angry eyes on me though.  I must have been out of my mind to think that he and I could take our friendship further.

***

I woke up on my birthday and felt like shit.  Not only did I have a headache from the slight hangover I had, but I felt ill over what had happened with J last night.  Luckily I hadn’t planned anything special; it meant that I could pretty much just keep to myself.  And so it was that I spent most of the day at home, reading and eating junk food.  I wallowed in my heartbreak, because it was true, I was heartbroken that not only did I screw up a chance at a relationship with J but I’d probably screwed up our friendship too.

He never called or came by but at three o’clock that afternoon, I heard the rumble of a bike outside.  Figuring it was Scott, I ignored it, stuck my headphones in and went back to my book.  I didn’t want to see anyone.

A couple of minutes later, my headphones were ripped out of my ears and J stood in my bedroom, staring down at me.  I couldn’t pick his mood.  He seemed mildly annoyed but at the same time, he had a soft look in his eyes.

I moved off the bed so I was face to face with him.  “What are you doing here, J?”

“Came to say happy birthday.”  His voice was soft.  It did things to me and I mentally cursed him; it wasn’t fair that he could make me feel this way when I was so upset with him.

“Thanks.”

His eyes scanned my face.  I wasn’t sure what he was looking for but I figured he hadn’t found it when he muttered, “Fuck.  This isn’t going to be easy, is it?”

Good God, he confused the shit out of me.  “What isn’t going to be easy?”

His chest rose and fell in a heavy movement.  “Us.”

“What, our friendship?”  I really wished we were doing this on any other day than today.  Today I wasn’t feeling the best so I was struggling to keep up with him.

A look crossed his face and then he appeared to settle something in his mind.  He grabbed my hand and began walking us out of the bedroom.

“Where are we going?” I asked while trying to slow him down by pulling back.

It was futile though; he just kept powering through the house and out the front door.  He let go of my hand once we were outside so that he could lock the front door.

“Where did you get a key for my house?”  I had no clue that he had that key.

“Scott gave it to me.  We’ve both got one in case you ever needed us.”

He said that like it was the most normal thing in the world.  As far as I was concerned, it wasn’t.  “I want that key back.  And Scott’s too.  You guys don’t need to worry about me.”