Now I was really confused.  “Want what?” I asked.

“Jesus, you’ve got to know by now that I want you in my bed.  I didn’t know how you felt; you’ve always given me mixed signals but now I can see that you want it too.”

Shit, this was not good.  I shook my head.  “No, J.  It’s not a good idea.  I just want to stay friends with you and that won’t happen if I sleep with you.”

“Don’t bullshit me, babe.  You want this.  It’s fucking written across your face.”  He moved his hand from my waist to my ass, gripping it and pulling me to him.  Leaning his face closer to mine, he murmured, “Your pussy’s wet for me, isn’t it?”

I knew I was done for in that instant.  My desire for him, mixed with the alcohol in my system, collided, and all rational thought flew out the window.  Unable to hold it in, I moaned.  J caught it and that was enough for him; his lips smashed down onto mine and we began the dance of lust that could only lead to one place.  His hands were all over my ass and then one hand moved around to my breast.  As his fingers brushed over my nipple, I moved my hands to his ass and pulled him into me.  His cock was hard against me and it felt so damn good.

He ended our kiss and pulled away from me slightly.  “Christ almighty, I need to get you out of here.”

I nodded, and looked around for my friends.  If we were leaving, I needed to say goodbye to them.

J grabbed my hand and started to walk towards the door to leave.  I pulled on his hand to stop him and he turned to look at me.  “What?” he asked, reluctantly stopping.

“I need to tell my friends that I’m leaving.”

Frustration crossed his face.  “Really?” he asked, impatiently.  “Can’t you just text them?  Cause I’ve gotta tell you, my dick’s been hard for you for a long fucking time and I don’t want to waste time fucking about looking for your friends.”

Whoa.  He was bossy, and damn, it turned me on even more.  But I wasn’t the kind of person to ditch a friend on a night out without telling them I was safe.  “No, I can’t just text them.  I’ve got to at least find Bec and tell her where I’m going.”

He let go of my hand and ran his fingers through his hair.  “Okay, but make it quick, babe.  I’m not kidding when I say that I’ve never been this hard for any other woman.”

I almost tripped over when he uttered those words.  Confusion crowded my mind; how had I missed the fact that J wanted me as much as I wanted him?  And just what did he want?  One night?  Or something more permanent?  I realised that in that moment, I didn’t care; I wanted tonight with him and tomorrow we could sort out the rest.  I just hoped that with whatever happened, we would remain friends because I valued the friendship we’d built over the years; J meant more to me than most of my girlfriends and I didn’t want to lose that.  Friends could have sex.  Couldn’t they?

***

We pulled up outside his house and I got off his bike and stood silently watching him.  I was nervous which was unlike me.  It was disconcerting to have knots in my stomach and to feel speechless around him.

He stayed on his bike, slowly removed his helmet and looked at me.  “What’s wrong, babe?”

“What are we doing?” I asked softly, the passion I’d felt at the club had given way to nerves now.

He cocked his head to the side.  “I thought we’d agreed on that already.”

I nodded.  “We had but -“

He cut me off, his voice laced with frustration, “But what, Madison?  It’s a no brainer for me.  I want you and you want me.  What’s there to think about?”

“Everything.  There’s everything to think about.  You’re one of my best friends and I don’t want to lose that.”

“Why would we lose that?”  The confusion was clear on his face.

I sighed; why did men have to be so clueless?  “So we have sex tonight.  What happens tomorrow?  Will it be awkward between us or do you think we can just go back to being what we were before tonight?”

“Fuck.  Why do chicks have to fucking over analyse shit?  Why can’t we just have tonight and go from there?”

He got off his bike and walked towards me but I took a step back.  He’d annoyed me now with his attitude towards this.  When I stepped back, he stopped and shook his head.  “So that’s it?  You’ve changed your mind?”

“Well, I had hoped that we could discuss it a little more but you don’t seem to want to do that.”

“Babe, I seriously just want to get you inside and get your fucking clothes off.  As far as I’m concerned that’s all the discussion that we need to make this happen.”

“Yeah, well I think that you and I are talking about two different things now, J.  You seem to just want a quick fuck and I’m more interested to know what happens beyond that quick fuck.”  Disappointment settled in; I’d thought he wanted more but it looked like I was wrong.  This was why you didn’t contemplate having sex with your male friends.

His phone rang and he scowled.  Answering it, he barked, “I’m in the middle of something.  What’s up?”  His eyes did not leave mine.