Whilst she went to gather a few things from her house that she lived in with her uncle Mr Aleksandrov, the headmaster of the school, I went to talk to Eli. I wanted to thank him for helping me with my little panic attack. I was still confused why it occurred out of nowhere and in front of so many people instead of when I was alone and at my most vulnerable. I found Eli; he was still in the auditorium, picking up the fighting mats and collecting rubbish.

“I thought I’d find you here,” I called.

“Someone has to clean it.”

“I just wanted to thank you for helping me.”

Eli sat down and I sat on a chair next to him. “You're welcome.”

“And about last night…” I began. “I should be the one apologizing; I put you in that position—”

“You didn't put me in any position,” he interrupted. “If anything, I put you in that position. I took advantage of your emotions to benefit myself, and for that I’m sorry. I think it would be better for our situation if we only see each other when other people are around. And only in extreme exceptions should we be alone together.”

“You make me sound like a rapist,” I scoffed.

Eli didn't find my comment humorous. “I'm serious, Ruby.”

“So we can't even be friends and hang out casually?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because…” he paused, planning his next words carefully. “I'm afraid I won't be able to keep my hands off you. I’m afraid I won't be able to resist you.”

I followed Eli's eyes down to my lips as he no doubt pondered the thought of tasting them again. “I’m sure you could.”

“No, I can't.”

Eli leant in and we were definitely going to kiss again; my heart pounded fast and my mouth watered at the thought of our lips connecting.

Damn it! My insides shouted as Eli’s phone rang. We were still inches apart as he answered his phone.

“Hello. On my way.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“We need to get you to your dorm immediately; don’t open it for anyone until I say so.”

He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me off my chair, sprinting out of the auditorium. This was too similar to last night. I ran as fast as I could toward my dorm. My thoughts were all over the place; it wasn't Hank, it was the middle of the day, and regardless, the school was charmed, preventing any kind of soulless creature from entering. As we ran, I repeatedly asked Eli to tell me what was going on but he didn’t say anything. We reached my dorm in record time and I saw Mila waiting for me.

“Get inside, both of you. Remember what I said, Ruby,” he ordered and then sprinted off.

I locked Mila and I into my dorm room. I looked over at Mila, whose mascara was running down her face.

“What's wrong?” I asked, panic rising in my throat.

“It's Cloud. She's dead.”

Death and a Letter

I felt so many feelings all at once. I felt dizzy and then nauseous, the nausea soon turned into numbness. Cloud was a guardian angel in training who wanted nothing more than to use her skills to watch over and protect newborn babies. She was so simple and compassionate, and now she was dead. Apparently she had slipped and fallen, banging her head into a rock early this morning, probably when she was on her way to the auditorium. I didn't know Cloud too well, we’d only met yesterday, and yet I could still say all these nice things about her. The majority of my pain lay not with me but for Mila. Cloud and Mila had been friends since Kindergarten, just like Camilla and I. My heart sank at the thought of Camilla. I hadn't thought about her since our last conversation on Eli's cell phone.

My mind drifted over to my own sorrows. I wondered how Aunt Jen and Camilla were doing and if they had managed to move on without me. I thought about Kyle and if he had made any new friends. Lastly, my mind fell onto Darren, a boy who had been obsessed with slinging sexual comments at me daily, a boy who claimed to be a vampire slayer, and not a very good one. Darren had cornered me in my room the night the angels came for me. He was ready to kill me but wanted me to exchange a sexual favor in place of my persecution. After I declined his disgusting offer, he tried to kill me, but he was knocked out by a vampire that came crashing through my window. The guardian angels followed suit.

Mila had been lying on my bed since she informed me of Cloud's death. Her mascara and eyeliner stained my purple pillows. I sat on the edge of the bed comforting her whilst saddening myself with my own grief. We jumped as a knock sounded upon my door. I gestured to Mila to be quiet. I grasped my whistle and prepared to blow it. Within seconds, in my mind I felt Eli's presence; I could smell his cologne and hear him breathing. It must be my tattoo; it’s working, when i focused on Eli I felt that he was close by. I ran to the door and opened it, just like I thought, it was Eli.

“You already know?” asked Eli.

I nodded. Our red-rimmed and make-up stained eyes had given it away.

“Aleksandrov told her what happened and she told me.”

Tay and Sera jogged up beside Eli. “Mila, your uncle demands that you come home immediately.”

The look on Mila's face told us she didn't want to but she wasn't about to fight her uncle. She grabbed her stuff and left.

“Are you okay?” Eli asked.

“I'm okay; Mila, on the other hand, isn't doing too well,” I informed him.

“Sam isn't doing too well, either.”

Sam was Cloud's best friend. If Mila was this sad, I couldn't begin to imagine how hysterical Sam would be.

“Do you want to come in?” I asked Eli.

“That's not a good idea.”

Although I wanted to be wrapped up in Eli's arms and have him comfort me with kisses, that wasn’t what I intended when I asked him to come in.

“The school is in lock down. There are twelve guardian angels guarding the girls’ and boys’ dorms and more or less the same guarding the teachers’ area. Senior gods are helping us with securing the school; same with senior guardians. We’re having the scene fingerprinted and examined further. The results will tell us what happened. In the meantime, stay in your dorm room,” he explained.

Eli walked off and I closed the door.

Sage Sanctum was supposed to be about learning how to use my magic and becoming a goddess, and yet here I stood. I hadn't learnt how to use water, earth, or fire. I could make a plant grow and manipulate it to wrap around things, big deal. I wanted to make a difference and help people, I wanted to make up for the lives I stole when I was a vampire, but I have been given no freedom to do so. I'm starting to contemplate whether being assigned a guardian angel was actually a good thing or not.

It was breakfast time an hour ago and my day had already been crazy; that's my life lately, just one thing after another. I changed my pillow sheets and washed my face. Five minutes passed since and I had already run out of things to do. How long were they planning on keeping us locked down?

It was two hours off dinner time when the lock down was broken. They filed Cloud's death as an accident; there was no sign of struggle or bruising, although I'd imagine it would be hard to tell with all the fighting the angels do. I emerged from my dorm and Hunter was leaning against the wall, opposite my door.

“Goddess, fancy seeing you here.” He smiled.

“Outside my door?” I replied bluntly, refusing to get on board with his humour.

If I had a normal life, the next set of events would never have happened, but seeing as though my life is as cliché as a movie, anything that could go wrong does. Sure enough, Rylan came up to us, and if things couldn't get any weirder, Eli showed up.

Nausea rose in my stomach. It looked really bad on my part but I only had feelings for Eli, and had never led Rylan or Hunter on. I met them once and then they were everywhere. My face flushed red as Eli's eyes squared in on me. I looked at Hunter, he looked at the situation with an amused expression. Rylan was more frustrated that Eli showed up and Eli's eyes were focused solely on me.

“They just showed up and they were just leaving,” I hinted to Rylan and Hunter.

“I wouldn't miss this for the world.” Hunter chuckled, leaned against the wall and stuck a toothpick in his mouth.

“You’re a senior; do you lurk around the younger girls’ dorms often?” Rylan snarled at Hunter.

Hunter took a step towards Rylan, but Eli stepped between them. He was bigger than both of them.

“Get to where you need to be, now,” he growled.

The two boys stormed off, leaving me with Eli.

“Thank you.”

He wasn’t pleased. “You seem to be the talk of the male population lately.”

This time I heard jealousy in his words. “Probably, Raina has already told people that I was a vampire.”

“It’s not that kind of talk.” Eli had a disgusted look on his face.

“Oh? … Oh! Gross,” I complained. I wasn’t even flattered that boys were thinking that stuff about me. I had never really been the type of girl that cared about boys intimately until I met Eli.

“Anyway, I came here to let you know my tattoo started working.” Eli presented his wrist. There, in tinged red, black ink was a quarter moon attached to a full moon, which was attached to another quarter moon.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It is the symbol for goddess.”

“That's awesome! I got a feather, and since guardian angels don’t actually have big feathery wings, it must mean I'm protected by a chicken.” I laughed and Eli laughed, too.

We were smiling and talking as students walked past but we were oblivious to them.

“So why were you strolling through the girls’ dorms?”

Eli checked his watch quickly. “I was actually on my way to see Sam. Cloud was her best friend, and as her teacher, I feel obliged to see how she is doing,” he explained.

“You're a good teacher.”

A trace of a smile appeared on his face and then he walked away.

I wanted to go to the library before dinner and read up on teaching myself how to use my magic. If the teachers here were more obsessed about me knowing what plants survive in various conditions, then I had no choice but to teach myself the important things. The library wasn't too big; I found the books I needed immediately. When I was checking out, the librarian gave me a funny look; she was definitely a goddess. Besides the obvious give away — stirring her lemon water without actually touching it — her skin was incredibly smooth, despite her age. There was no doubt, she knew what I was doing but she didn't say anything.

I circled the school and eventually found a pond hidden behind the sports oval and running track. I sat down and opened the first book, titled: Water Skills. The first chapter, ‘How to conjure a water ball’ caught my eye immediately. I held my hand out towards the water and slowly pulled my fingers back to form a closed fist just like the book said; nothing happened. I tried a few more times and they all ended in defeat.

“You're eager to learn,” said Hunter as he stepped out from behind a tree.

“And you're eager to be labelled a stalker.”

“Easy now, I was here before you arrived.” Hunter brought a cigarette to his lips and inhaled.

“Then let me make this easier, I'll leave.” I started packing up my books.

“I can help, you know.”

“The only thing you’re helping with is my death. I don't want to die of lung cancer from second hand smoke, thank you.”

Hunter threw the cigarette to the ground and stomped it out. He put the packet into the back pocket of his baggy jeans. I watched curiously as he approached the pond and conjured a water ball from it. He made it look so simple.

“How… how did you do that?” I gasped.

“I have a few more years’ experience than you, remember.”

“Can you help me?” I asked. I knew it was a bad idea but I desperately wanted to learn how to use my magic.

“That depends.” He smirked. “As long as I’m in charge, you do everything I say and I can smoke, then we have a deal.”

I thought the conditions over a few times before eventually accepting. Hunter was my only hope at advancing my powers and I was already behind my class mates. They knew how to conjure balls out of each element, they knew how to control them and make them move. I could only make plants grow and heal, granted it’s pretty cool, but I need to know more. Hunter and I agreed to meet here every Saturday. I wanted to do it every other day, but Hunter insisted it was too obvious and people would become suspicious.

At Sage Sanctum, like any other ‘magical’ community, you’re not allowed to use your magic without teacher supervision and outside of school. You’re only allowed to use it to defend yourself. Many gods and goddesses use it around the house, away from human eyes, to do things like stir their drinks and maintain their garden, which is okay and seen as harmless.

I hauled all my books back to my dorm and spread them out on the floor to read them. Unfortunately, I’m a better procrastinator than studier. First, I painted my fingernails, brushed my hair, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. As I sat there I couldn't help but to notice how bland my toenails were, they had no color. I thought about the last time my mother and I painted our toenails.

We spoke about school and work and boys. I remember the color she chose; it was lavender, her favorite. I closed my eyes tightly as a single tear ran down my cheek. I took a few deep breaths and composed myself, trying not to relapse back into a panic attack. I didn't realize before how much I actually feared being alone. When I'm alone, I slowly descend into depression… every color I look at is dull and every thought is negative. It isn't like clinical depression where it affects my daily life; it only creeps up on me when I’m alone. I feel useless and weak, no emotions pour over me, instead I cry.