BRUISE CRUISE

Fades bruises of all shapes, sizes, and colors

BUFF STUFF

Temporarily increases muscle mass

DROOLY DEW

Temporarily makes the mouth hypersalivate

FADE FUEL

Speeds cell regeneration for someone who faded during a light leap

(The Slurps and Burps version includes limbium)

FART A LA CARTE

Temporarily causes an abundance of flatulence

FLOOF

Temporarily causes hair or fur to turn fluffy and feathery

 

FRECKLE JUICE

Temporarily gives the appearance of freckled skin

FRISSYN

A shimmering silver powder that puts out Everblaze.

(Frissyn is the hardest substance for an alchemist to make—and a recent addition to Slurps and Burps in light of challenges with the Neverseen.)

FUZZY FIZZ

Temporarily causes the body to be covered in short, mostly invisible hairs, giving skin a fuzzy feel

 

GASHROOMS

Small, stinky mushrooms used for both metal purification and elixir-making

(particularly prank elixirs)

GREENLEAF

Temporarily turns hair or fur bright green

GURGLE GUT

Temporarily causes abundant gaseous eruptions

HAIROIDS

Temporarily causes hair to grow much more rapidly than normal

HUSH SLUSH

Temporarily eliminates someone’s ability to talk

(generally lasts eight hours)

LIMBIUM

A substance used in elixirs that affects the limbic system

(must be kept safely away from Sophie Foster)

LOVELYLOCKS

Temporarily makes hair extra shiny and smooth

MERMAID-TIGER DELIGHT

Temporarily turns hair and fur a combination of purple, teal, and blue, with black stripes running through

NOGGINEASE

Temporarily clears the mind to allow greater focus during studying

QUICKSNUFF

A green powder that easily puts out fires

REEKROD

A stinky stalklike plant commonly used for pranks, either by itself or in elixirs

SCRATCHES ’N SPLITS

Immediately seals any cuts or scratches to the skin

SEA SEE

Temporarily turns eyes teal

TANNY FANNY

Temporarily gives pale skin the appearance of a suntan

WOUND WIPE

A quick and easy way to clean and treat small injuries

 

 

DEX’S FAIL-PROOF ALCHEMY TIPS!

(EVEN FOR YOU, SOPHIE!)

TRUST THE DIZZNEE METHOD. WE’RE THE BEST!

WHAP MEANS “WASH HANDS AND PRESENT.” (DO NOT “WHIP” THE ELIXIR INSTEAD! I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS, BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD REMINDER.)

ONLY PRACTICE ALCHEMY IN A FIREPROOF LOCATION. (WE, UH, BOTH KNOW WHY THIS ONE’S SO IMPORTANT.…)

ALWAYS POUR IN AMARALLITINE FROM A SAFE DISTANCE—AND USE A TIMER TO ENSURE YOU’RE ADDING IT AT THE EXACT SECOND THE ELIXIR IS READY FOR IT.

DON’T GET ANY RUCKLEBERRY JUICE ON YOUR SKIN—IT’LL MAKE YOU SMELL LIKE STINKY FEET. AND YOUR SKIN WILL GET ALL WEIRD AND WRINKLY LIKE FORKLE.

YEAH, A LOT OF THE INGREDIENTS FOR ELIXIRS ARE SUPER DISGUSTING. IT’S PROBABLY BETTER IF YOU DON’T THINK ABOUT IT. (AND PLUG YOUR NOSE! )

REMEMBER: LADY GALVIN HATES EVERYBODY—IT’S NOT JUST YOU. (ALTHOUGH MAYBE TRY NOT TO DESTROY HER CAPE AGAIN?)

ALKAHEST IS THE UNIVERSAL SOLVENT AND CAN ONLY BE STORED IN A BUBBLE OF ITSELF. (WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TOUCH IT.)

IF YOU BOTTLE QUINTESSENCE (ACCIDENTALLY OR ON PURPOSE), DO NOT BRING THE BOTTLE TO FOXFIRE.

IF YOU SUDDENLY REMEMBER ANY COMPLICATED FORMULAS, DON’T TRY MAKING THEM. THE BLACK SWAN WAY OVERESTIMATED YOUR ALCHEMY SKILLS!

 

 

SLURPS AND BURPS BESTSELLERS

BUFF STUFF

LOVELYLOCKS

GURGLE GUT

MERMAID-TIGER DELIGHT

FART A LA CARTE

BROWN-EYE SOLIDARI-TEA

FLOOF

HUSH SLUSH

NOGGINEASE

 

 

MEDICINE

I’d forgotten how different elvin medicine is from the other species’ until Sophie moved to the Lost Cities and I saw how terrified she was of me! (Can’t totally blame her when I think about all the sharp things human doctors have to use!) I’ve also treated her bodyguards quite a few times, so it’s been an educational experience. And hey, all medicine has value. But I’m glad I get to work with elixirs, balms, and poultices (even if those can have some pretty nasty ingredients).

Sadly, I can’t fix everything—but that never stops me from trying. And thankfully I’ve been able to keep Sophie safe and healthy. So far…

—Elwin

 

 

Emotional Support Stuffed Animals

 

I’m definitely not the first person to realize the therapeutic power of a good snuggle buddy—nor can I take credit for giving out all of these. But I am a big supporter of the “hug a stuffed animal” movement. And someday I hope everyone tries sleeping with one!

—Elwin

 

 

OTHER COMMON REMEDIES AND TREATMENTS

BENNU TEARS

These extremely rare drops can increase the potency of most remedies, but especially in cell regenerators.

BILEPOD

This gray, walnut-shaped seed cures seasickness when anyone eats the reddish-brown goop inside (which smells like burnt garlic).

BOTTLED YOUTH

Elves drink at least one bottle of this cold, sweet water daily because it contains an essential enzyme that helps flush toxins out of the system. Any treatment plan for an illness or injury always includes additional bottles of Youth.

CALLOWBERRIES

These orange and green speckled fruits are used to reverse the effect of ruckleberries—but they taste and smell horrible.

CLARIFAVA

These strange, cube-shaped fruits with black-and-white speckles are known to help the body resist the influence of technology.

FATHOMLETHES

These tiny pearls (harvested from rare river oysters) can trigger vivid, overwhelming dreams when ingested—which makes taking fathomlethes both a risky and useful tool to access long-term memories.

HOLLOWTHISTLE TEA

This drink is most commonly described as “vile” and must be taken in moderation, since drinking too much in one sitting could cause someone’s insides to liquefy. It’s one of the best methods to purge poison or venom from the system.

JACULUS VENOM

Contains a powerful anticoagulant that can be used as a tissue regenerator when combined with Phoenix sweat.

KELPIE DUNG

The waste from a kelpie can take the sting of out terrible bites when applied to the skin.

KELPIE URINE

Most only use this remedy as a last resort, but it’s the absolute best way to regain equilibrium when fighting vertigo or seasickness.

LIMBIUM-FREE FADE FUEL

Similar to the product sold at Slurps and Burps, but designed specifically to treat Sophie Foster without triggering her allergy.

PHOENIX SWEAT

This valuable ingredient is used in burn salves and flesh regenerators (and works best when combined with jaculus venom).

PIQUATINE

This acid is nearly as strong as alkahest and can dissolve the top layers of skin—which is the only way to remove aromark if someone comes in contact with it. The process can be strange and gross, but with numbing balm, it’s completely painless.

POOKA PUS