“I won’t,” Kael looked at me his eyes pleading with me to understand. “But you have to stay here.”

“No, I’m coming with you Kael. I can fight them,” I argued and tried to stand. But my body disagreed and I flopped back down to the ground.

“Thalia, I won’t go after them unless you promise to stay here, take care of the others, and get them somewhere safe,” Kael raised his voice. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Then I’ll go without you. You can’t leave me behind. I deserve justice for what was done to me,” I cried out. Finally, I was able to get my legs to stand firm beneath me. I raised my chin and dared him to argue. “I’m going too.”

“Thalia, it’s not too dangerous for you. It’s too dangerous for me,” his voice dropped to barely above a whisper. He leaned in close to me, his eyes zeroed in on my lips and I held my breath expecting him to kiss me. He saw my inhaled breath and he hesitated. Instead he tucked a stray wisp of hair behind my ear. “You leave me…vulnerable.”

I could see the sweat from the heat of battle along his brow, the smear of blood across his arm. None of that took away from how handsome he looked. Kael was the best fighter in all of Calandry, and I was his weakness.

Kael’s eyes dropped from my mouth and he turned to survey the dead bodies of both the Septori and our own guards. His body stiffened and his voice became stern. “I failed today, because as soon as I knew something was wrong, I came to protect you instead of the students. I failed the Adept Council. I failed in my duty because I was distracted...by you.”

The bitter taste of guilt began to consume me. I was a liability. He was right. As long as I stayed alive, he would be fine. But if I did something reckless he would pay the price. If I went with him, he would always be looking over his shoulder.

“Fine, I’ll stay here and help get the others somewhere safe.” By now my imagination had started playing horrible tricks on me. I imagined Joss on the table and the Raven doing experiments on him. I could see Joss cry out in pain as the iron bands wrapped around his body and pierced his skin. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned my head, trying to stop the terror that threatened to consume me.

He nodded his head in agreement. I could tell he didn’t want to go, but would…for me. “I’ll be faster if I go alone.”

“I know,” I said.

Kael stood up and walked over to a lone horse that belonged to one of the kidnappers. He hastily opened the pack, looked inside, and apparently approved of the rations and tack he saw. He mounted the horse and, before he rode off, he turned back to look at me. His expression was grim and determined.

My emotions ran amok within me. I was sick to my stomach at the thought of Joss at the hands of the Septori. But knowing I was sending Kael into the pit of vipers after him terrified me to my very core, and gave me the wakeup call long coming. I needed Kael, not just in that moment, but forever. Neither one of us knew what perils he would walk into, but I knew he would come back. He always came back. He had too.

“Wait!” I yelled and ran after him on foot. Kael abruptly halted the horse and turned in his saddle to look at me, his brows furrowed in confusion. I had to state what was warring in my heart. I had to hear myself say the words out loud. “I choose you,” I called out to him. “I would have chosen you contest or no contest.”

“I know,” Kael said confidently.

“So hurry back to me.”

“No matter where you go, I’ll always find you,” he promised.

“You better,” I called out to him, watching as his face drank in mine. It was if he was memorizing every part of me. He finally dragged himself away and started off down the road, following barely discernable tracks.

I watched him until he disappeared and then turned to my attention back to our destroyed camp.

Chapter 17

A wagon, tipped over in the fight, marked the far side of camp. Bodies lay strewn throughout the area. Some dead, others drugged. I counted our numbers. Over half of our camp was dead or missing. I walked among the fallen, frustrated at our inability to stop them. How could they have drugged the whole camp? I walked over to my comrade Hemi, who was still out. He had rolled over onto his back, snoring, his arms flailed wide. I could see Karni, her little arms wrapped over her head as she still slept under my blanket.

“Hemi!” I growled, nudging him with the toe of my dirty boot. The snoring stopped for a second and his large head wobbled back and forth before settling again. The snoring continued even louder.

“Here, try this,” a soft voice said from my side. I turned and saw Syrani, holding a tin cup filled with water. A hint of mischief glinted in her eye. Her blue dress was ripped, her hands were covered in dirt, and her hair had fallen out of its pins. But she still had a smile on her face as if the battle, and the dead, and everything that happened had invigorated her.

I took the cup filled with water and took a quick sip to quench my parched throat before I unceremoniously dumped the rest onto Hemi’s face. He roared to life as streams of water dripped off of his red beard, and his hand reached for his battle-axe.

“I’ll kill him. I’ll kill the dirty rat that tried to drown me in my sleep,” he roared, glaring at us accusingly.

Syrani snorted and looked from the cup in my hand to my face. She raised one eyebrow. “So I’m not the only one who calls you a rat.”

Hemi wiped the water from his face and stared at us. Syrani shrugged, picked up her skirt, and turned back to the rest of the camp. A few of the guards had started to wake up, along with two maids. Syrani began directing the cleanup and taking inventory of what was lost, who was taken, how many horses. She also directed the guards to plan a protection detail to get them on the road and moving as fast as they could.

I was completely taken aback by her change in demeanor. The guards that were left didn’t disobey. It was obvious they were still shocked from learning of the betrayal from within their own ranks, including even their captain. They were understandably shaken.

As Syrani organized our departure, I decided to take a look at our dead and to try and piece together what had happened last night. What had happened that allowed everyone to be drugged? Why weren’t Syrani and I drugged? Why were we the only ones not affected?

What could I do now? Should I take the few remaining Denai students to their homes? Take them back to the Citadel? Or could we go somewhere closer for safety?

As I walked, I passed the perimeter to the outer side of the wagons and gazed down the road. The same road that Kael and Joss had gone down. I relived the last moments in my head again. The attack by the lumbering Septori, the driver who stood up and tried to suffocate me. I felt a tear of frustration run down my cheek and brushed it away with the back of my hand. I turned to look for the Septori I’d killed and spotted him. Over by the wagon wheel, crumpled to the ground in a lifeless heap.

I had to pause and collect my courage as I reached for the red hood. Every part of me revolted at the soft red wool. It could have been shards of glass for the way I flung it as quickly as soon as I picked it up.

My heart sank as the betrayal ran deeper than I had imagined. Donn. I hadn’t seen him among the sleeping or dead, and this was why. His large face was slack, his eyes closed, and I pulled up his long sleeves to search for the mark. It wasn’t on his arms. I looked down and could see the faint brand upon his upper leg after I pulled up the leg of his pants. Here was the answer to how we were drugged.