The Helmet of Horror Chapter Seventeen


Nutscracker

Would that be the one at the centre of the separator labyrinth?

UGLI 666

Do not waste your final moments in blasphemy!

Sartrik

What the hell's going on out there? Stop it!

IsoldA

Romeo! Goodbye, you bastard!

Ariadne

My door's getting hot. Are yours?

Nutscracker

I'm stifling. Something ...

Monstradamus

It's him.

Theseus

MINOTAURUS!

Monstradamus: Ah?

IsoldA: Ah?

Nutscracker: Ah?

Organizm(-: Ah?

Theseus: Ah?

Ariadne: Ah?

UGLI 666: Ah?

Romeo-y-Cohiba: Ah?

TheZeus

Fuck U

Monstradamus: MOOOOOO!

IsoldA: MOOOOOO!

Nutscracker: MOOOOOO!

Organizm )-: MOOOOOO!

Theseus: MOOOOOO!

Ariadne: MOOOOOO!

UGLI 666: MOOOOOO!

Romeo-y-Cohiba: MOOOOOO!

Organizm(-:

Ladies and gents, I don't get it  -  what was that?

Nutscracker

I think it's getting cooler. And the noise has stopped.

IsoldA

What, don't you understand? It's Theseus!

Romeo-y-Cohiba

Theseus! How we've longed for you to come!

Monstradamus

Theseus. At last. Where are you? What do you see around you?

UGLI 666

Hmmm.

Organizm(-:

Theseus, answer!

Nutscracker

Stop it. It's pointless.

UGLI 666

He's given us the slip.

Monstradamus

Has he really gone?

Nutscracker

Yes.

IsoldA

But of course ...

UGLI 666

There is no more Minotaur.

Ariadne

Hang on, papa.

Monstradamus: My son!

IsoldA: My son!

Nutscracker: My son!

Organizm(-: My son!

Sartrik: My son(-:

:-(((((

Organizm(-:

Why don't we look for him? Maybe he still believes?

Monstradamus

In what?

Organizm(-:

Well, in the whole pile of xxx. That he has a body. And it's in a room.

Ariadne

He never did believe in that.

Romeo-y-Cohiba

You could say he saved us. He could have just killed us all once he'd seen us.

Nutscracker

No he couldn't. Then he'd never have got the helmet off. He isn't kind, he just knew.

Ariadne

What I've heard is that if anyone knows then it's precisely because he is kind.

Nutscracker

And what I've heard is that if anyone's kind then it's precisely because he knows.

Organizm(-:

What difference does it make to us? How did we give ourselves away?

UGLI 666

We get distracted. Make too much fuss. Talk off the point, all this stuff about Versailles and Mona Lisa.

IsoldA

Ugly, you don't mind us living here, do you?

UGLI 666

This time it was Ariadne who blurted everything out. That's why he gave us the slip.

Monstradamus

What do you suggest?

UGLI 666

Not to tell him anything.

Nutscracker

That's going too far. Then how will he find out he's wearing a helmet? We can't put something that doesn't exist on his head just like that. We have to explain. And it's best to start from childhood. Not so he understands everything, though, just enough for him to do it all to himself. Ariadne's our best guide round the labyrinth. She's very skilful at it.

UGLI 666

Nutcracker, you're talking about what she ought to do. I'm talking about what she's already done. And anyway, I beg your pardon, but what has skill got to do with it? The labyrinth is any route the Helmholz has been led along.

Monstradamus

That's right, any route. But it seems like a very long time since anyone walked round your route, Ugly.

Sartrik

What ... What route is that?

Monstradamus

Back with us again, hero? Ladies and gents, a joke. Imagine Sartrik wakes up with a massive hangover. He can't remember anything about the previous day. There's a pool of blood beside him. He's surrounded by a labyrinth. But there's no Minotaur anywhere. Sartrik raises his eyes to the ceiling and whispers in horror: 'I killed him ... Killed him and ate him ...'

IsoldA

What's funny about that? That's exactly how it happened.

UGLI 666

Your joke's older than the labyrinth, Monstradamus. Let's discuss the serious situation we're in. Some day Ariadne will be the death of us.

IsoldA

Stop stirring things up, Ugly. It's not Ariadne's fault at all. Sartrik blurted it all out in a drunken stupor.

Sartrik

You always blame everything on Sartrik.

IsoldA

You should be xxx to xxx. Why did you butt in? What for? Lousy drunk.

Monstradamus

But how did he actually find out the Name?

UGLI 666

Ariadne gave away the whole thing to him in so many words.

Nutscracker

Then why hasn't he dissolved the lot of us if he knows the Name?

Monstradamus

He has. It just seems to us in here that he's dissolved himself.

UGLI 666

Ariadne, maybe you can explain what made you like him more than us?

Ariadne

Oh, go to hell. You can lead him round the labyrinth instead of me.

UGLI 666

I'll come back to you about this. I'll show you up for what you are.

Romeo-y-Cohiba

I don't understand  -  who's responsible? Ariadne or Sartrik?

UGLI 666

Ariadne's to blame. She was beside Theseus in the MINOTAUR and they got too cosy.

Ariadne

You be careful who you go yapping at. Or you'll wind up lost forever in that cathedral of yours, get it? You're here on my thread. And there isn't any other.

UGLI 666

Did you all hear that? Did you hear it? Papa, have you thought where we'll all end up when she goes running off to that snake?

Nutscracker

Don't be such a Cassandra.

Organizm(-:

What are we going to do here now?

Monstradamus

What are we going to do? Carry on with the discourse.

Nutscracker

I know that. But in what capacity?

Monstradamus

You've only got the capacity for doing one thing, Nutcracker. Staring into that screen, like Pavlov's bitch gazing into Tarkovsky's mirror.
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