“Our situation was, is, completely different.”

“Then ask yourself something. Why is it that you presume she trapped him? Was your father not in attendance during their dalliance?”

“Of course, but—”

“Were you not in attendance during our dalliance?”

“Of course! But—”

“But what? It’s always the woman’s fault, never the man’s?”

“I—”

“You’ve spent your entire life believing one version of the truth, that your father was the victim. Have you ever looked at things from your mother’s point of view? Have you ever considered that she was the one who ended up trapped that day?”

His mother, trapped? Something cold snaked across his skin and raised the hair on his arms. He pictured his mother over the years, regal and icy. But had she really been that aloof, or had it simply covered a sadness he’d never considered?

Irena held herself rigid before him, but her hands shook at her sides. “I hate what she did to you, Benedict, the way she abandoned you. There is no excuse for it. But I also ache for her. She had to spend her entire life inside a cold, cruel marriage with a heartless man who hated the very sight of her, despite the fact that he once desired her enough to convince her to throw away the dictates of society, to risk her reputation, and to huddle in dark corners with him.”

His stomach began to eat itself.

“She had to endure his disdain the way she once enjoyed his affections. What were his intentions toward her during those escapades if not to marry her?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, voice hoarse with shame and dread, not only for what he’d never considered before but for new revelations that were surely to come next.

“Yet he hated her when that was the outcome,” Irena continued. “And she is the one you blame.”

Desperation pushed him forward. “I was wrong about you and your intentions and have admitted as much. When Lord Melvin told me the truth about how we got caught—”

“That’s the point, Benedict!” she yelled, her elevated voice so uncharacteristic that his skin jumped atop his bones. “You needed to hear it from someone else to believe I was innocent of deceit! Just like you needed to hear it from me that perhaps your mother was not the schemer you’ve always believed.”

Irena shook her head. “Have you ever considered for one moment that when my mother walked in on us, I was just as trapped as your mother?”

Trapped? By becoming married to an earl? No, it had not occurred to him. Why would it? He’d been raised from birth to believe he was one step short of being a god, that a woman would do anything to marry him. That she would, in fact, lie or cheat to secure his hand and his title.

But Irena’s words had the effect of a blindfold being torn from his eyes, and the world looked different from this vantage point, from her vantage point.

He’d been an active participant in their rendezvous. He’d initiated them, for God’s sake. But she alone carried society’s cross of shame. She alone suffered the wrath of the ton. She alone had been branded a schemer.

Reality was far different.

Their dalliances hadn’t been his secret.

They’d been hers.

Dear God, he’d been her dirty little secret. Her whirlwind rebellion against a society she despised. He was an earl, and being forced to marry him had ruined her bloody life. He’d forced her into ball gowns and waltzes. He’d tossed her into a viper’s pit of gossip and scorn, foolishly believing his title alone would be enough to rescue her.

A strange, hysterical laugh burst from his chest, the kind that made him double over and brace his hands upon his knees.

“Look at me, my lord.”

Benedict sucked in a breath and stood. The stony expression that greeted him did not ease his sense of dread.

“I’m leaving,” she said.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Gavin sprouted a line of sweat on his forehead like he was facing down a Cy Young winner.

“Thea, listen.”

“Oh my God,” Thea groaned. “What is it? What are you hiding in the closet?”

“Something that w-will require some explanation, but if you’ll just let me—”

Thea had stopped listening. She was headed for the stairs.

Okay. Calm. Think. Gavin dug his phone from his pocket and called up the group text of the guys. “Code red. Books discovered. Need help.”

He checked on the girls, told them to stay put on the couch, and took off after her. “Thea,” he called, hoping the panic in his voice was not as noticeable as it sounded to his ears. He walked into the guest room just in time to see Thea drag out one bag of books and sit on the floor.

She looked up, brows furrowed. “Books?”

Gavin shrugged. “Yeah. Um, books.”

“This is what Liv was talking about.”

“I guess so?”

Thea reached into the bag and pulled out two Regencies. Her face scrunched up as she studied the covers. “These are romance novels.”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.”

“These are yours?”

“Uh-huh.” Gavin was afraid to let his guard down, but so far this wasn’t bad. She’d only seen the covers. She wasn’t looking inside. Still, if Liv had warned her about them, then Liv must have looked inside one of the books and could have seen the notes. And the underlined passages. And the highlighted dirty parts.

Shit.

Thea picked up another book, and his heart ran for the warning track. The Sexually Satisfied Countess stared up at her.

His phone buzzed.

“Do you . . .” She fought back a laugh. “Do you actually like these?”

“There’s nothing w-wrong with romance novels. They, they provide commentary on modern, um, modern relationships and feminism and . . . and stuff.”

Thea snorted. “Gavin, I know. I love romance.”

“You do?”

“My e-reader is full of them. I just . . . since when are you a fan?”

His phone buzzed again two more times in rapid succession. Shit. “Um, honey. Just, um, hang on a second.”

He turned and ducked out of the room. He had three text messages from the guys.

Stay calm. That was from Del.

Ask if she wants to act out the dirty parts. Mack, of course.

Above all else, do not lie. Malcolm.

Okay. He was going to tell her about the book club. He just needed to get her away from the books before she opened one or found some of the notes. Because that would be way too humiliating.

“Daddy?” Ava’s voice called up from the bottom of the stairs.

Gavin swallowed a groan. “What, sweetie?”

“I’m hungry.”

Gavin silently screamed a thousand curse words. Puke-stocking whey face! “Um, OK, honey. Can you wait a second?”

“Gavin.”

Thea said his name. Quietly. Ominously. He turned and walked back in.

She held Courting the Countess in her hand, open, his notes and underlined passages plain to see.

Thea looked up. “Which one of us has been faking it?”

* * *

• • •

Thea watched Gavin’s face for any sign that this was a joke or a mistake or, or, or some kind of twisted prank left by Liv. Anything to convince her this wasn’t what it looked like.

His voice was tight. “Thea, listen.”

“All those amazing things you said to me . . .”

“They’re not my words, but—”

She stood on shaky legs. “I’ve been half a man. End my agony. I’m at your mercy.” The last part came out a groan. He’d seduced her with those words. Earned her trust with those words. Was Liv right? Had this just been some kind of game to him? Winning her back by any means necessary just because he could?

Gavin rushed forward from the doorway. “They’re my feelings, Thea. That’s what matters.”

“You seduced me with someone else’s words!”

“Just a few lines from a book, Thea. That’s it. Just to help me talk to you wh-when I couldn’t.”

“They weren’t just a few lines from a book. They were beautiful and made me think that things were different, that we could be different.” She backed up until her legs hit the bed. “How much else?”

Gavin scrubbed his hands over his hair.

“Do I have to read all these books to find out how much of the past month has been a total fabrication?”

“None of it w-was! The past month with you has been the most important of my life.”

“You made it up!”

“No, I didn’t. I was d-d-desperate. I didn’t know wh-what to do to get you to give me a chance, and Del and the guys said they could help, and—”

Her stomach bottomed out. “Del knows about this?” Her legs gave way as puzzle pieces began to fit into place. They formed a picture of total humiliation. She sank to the mattress. “Mack. And Malcolm? The night they were here playing dress up? That was this?”

“It’s a book club.” Gavin dropped to his knees in front of her. “W-we read romance novels to improve our relationships.”

“You pretended to be someone else!”

“No. This is me. And I am a better person than I was before. Not because of the books, but because the books helped me see things differently. Please, honey.”

She was going to be sick. Thea stood. “I need to think. I need to clear my head.” She dodged him as he rose from the floor. “I need to figure out—”

“Figure out what?” he snapped. “Whether you love me?”

Thea whipped around. The beseeching pinch of his eyes had been replaced by the hard glint of resignation. “That is not what this is about,” she said.

“Isn’t it?” Gavin took two steps toward her and looked down at her upturned face. “I love you.”

A painful thud originated in her chest and quickly spread through her body.