I smiled my acknowledgment, and Fiona closed the door without saying anything else. I waited a moment then let my legs give out as I sank to the floor and wrapped my arms around my legs. Rocking back and forth I cried. It didn’t ease the ache. Nothing but Stone could do that. The simple fact he had been worried about me only made the tears come harder.

I couldn’t stop loving him. Even if he was damaged from his childhood. Even if he wasn’t capable of truly loving someone. I didn’t see how he could love me if he couldn’t love his son. There was a disconnect that I feared would always be there.

Beulah

LOUD MUSIC WOKE ME UP.

When I opened my eyes, the cream-colored fluffy rug was under my cheek. I’d fallen asleep on the floor last night. Stretching, my body felt stiff and abused. Not from the hardwood floor—I’d slept on worse. My aches and pains were from the drain all my crying had caused.

Sitting up, I winced from a sharp pain in my left hip. Maybe the hard floor got a few slugs into me after all.

I sat up in the dark room and felt a blanket pooled in my lap. Someone had covered me up and turned off the lights last night.

Looking up at the ceiling, I wondered if he was home. What he was doing today? When we would talk?

The floor vibrated with noise coming from the other room along with what felt like someone jumping.

I stood up and ran my hand over my hair. Picking up the blanket, I folded it and left it on the edge of the bed.

I couldn’t stay at Fiona’s forever, hiding from Stone. And he couldn’t ignore me forever. He had to speak to me sooner or later because I needed answers. And I felt lost without him.

Someone yelled, drawing my attention to the noise in the living room. I decided to poke my head out to see what was happening out there. I also needed to thank Fiona for letting me stay, then I planned to head upstairs because I had to get ready. Geraldine would be expecting me. A flutter of hope came at the thought of her. Geraldine would know the truth.

I opened the door and followed the sound around the corner. In the living area, I found a blonde built exactly like Fiona. She had her hair in a ponytail on top of her head. She was wearing a sports bra and a pair of tiny spandex shorts as she danced in front of what appeared to be a video game on the large screen television.

“Turn it down! I swear to God I am going to throw that shit out!” Fiona’s furious voice could be heard loud and clear over the music.

The blonde didn’t even acknowledge her. She kept on dancing. Apparently, I had slept through her dance off for some time because she was sweating and her cheeks were flushed. She glanced over at me and smiled, and went right back to playing the game.

“Why can’t you run like normal people?” Fiona continued shouting as she walked into the room scowling. She looked past the dancing female at me. “Sorry about this.” She waved her hand at the blonde. “She’s a fucking fruitcake!”

I walked closer to Fiona so I could thank her and leave, but as I reached her, the blonde cut off the game.

“Done! Now stop bitching. That’s more fun than running. Running is boring as hell,” the girl said then wiped her sweaty forehead with a towel.

“Running doesn’t wake up the fucking building at six in the morning,” Fiona shot back.

The girl shrugged. “I have no time the rest of the day.” She reminded me of Barbie. When she turned her attention to me she smiled. “It’s nice to meet you Beulah. I’m Chantel. Sorry if I woke you.”

“You woke up Satan himself with that crap. Of course you woke her,” Fiona grumbled. She turned and gave me an apologetic smile. “Would you like coffee?”

“No, I need to get ready for work. But thank you for last night and letting me stay here. I really appreciate it.”

Fiona reached into her back pocket, pulled out a letter and handed it to me. “Stone dropped this off.”

I looked at the envelope and my hand trembled as I took it. He wasn’t upstairs. He’d left me a note. I felt sick again and I wanted to run from the letter. I didn’t want to open it knowing it would bring pain. Nothing good could come of this. I knew if I went back to the bedroom and curled up on the floor it wouldn’t make the letter cease to exist.

“When did he leave it with you?” I asked as my voice gave away my obvious fear.

“Early, about five.”

I nodded and stood there staring at the envelope. I had to open it, but doing that in front of two people I hardly knew made me feel even more vulnerable. Then again, opening it alone was terrifying. I needed Stone here. I had learned to depend on him. Even though he was causing my excruciating pain, I still wanted him to be there to help me deal with whatever the truth was.

“You can read it in the kitchen,” Fiona said softly.

“That bastard better not be ending shit in a letter. That’s fucking low. I don’t care who he is, that won’t stand.” Chantel sounded outraged.

I decided to open it and face whatever his message was with them here. Maybe if they watched over me I wouldn’t fold up or shatter. I would hold it together for appearance sake. Before Stone, I had learned to be strong and trust myself. That girl was still inside me.

Sliding the letter out, I hoped they didn’t notice the way my hands were shaking. He had folded it three times. I took my time unfolding it because I knew once I had, I’d be forced to read his words. Words that could destroy me. Words that I would never recover from. Words he should have said to me last night and not in a letter he left with Fiona this morning.

His handwriting was neat and small. I stared hard as it all blurred together, blinking several times until I could focus and read.

Beulah,

Spend the day with Heidi today. Geraldine has a friend visiting from Maine. She will be there for the next three days. You won’t be needed while Geraldine has company.

I will be in Manhattan. Not sure when I will return. The apartment is yours to use.

Stone

That was all he wrote. There was nothing more—no answers, no promises and no I love you. He wasn’t trying to keep me. He wasn’t fighting like Jasper had fought when we ended. Stone was simply disappearing, and at the same time, leaving me behind.

I didn’t read his words again. Instead, I folded the letter back the way it had been, slid it into the envelope and held it in my hand tightly. This was my answer. He was giving me space and time to move on. He didn’t want to make me leave, but he was paving the road for me to leave on my own.

“Are you okay?” Fiona’s voice snapped my attention back to the here and now. I’d forgotten they were there.

I forced a tight smile. “I’m not sure I ever will be,” I replied honestly.

“Did that piece of shit break up with you in a letter?” Chantel sounded furious.

My lips started to quiver, but I pressed them together to stop that immediately. “No.”

“Do you need to stay here?” Fiona asked.

“No, but thank you. I have to figure out what my next steps are. He’s giving me time to do that.”

“He did break up with you!” Chantel was beyond angry.

Breaking up with me would have been easier than this. At least there would have been interaction. There would have been tears. Maybe there would have been yelling. But this? This letter held no emotion. It was a cold, empty . . . the end.

Beulah

HEIDI’S SMILE WAS THE FIRST bit of warmth I’d felt since Jasper had shown up at Stone’s. My chest wasn’t as hollow with her beside me. She had been chatting happily about the baby blankets she was learning to crochet and how they would be making them and sending them to the “babies that were cold.” A nurse who had been working in the activities room at the time told me about a homeless shelter for abused pregnant women. The blankets were for the women their small children that lived at the shelter.