“You been updated?” Yep, he was pissed at me.

I sighed.  “Yeah, Griff called.” I hesitated and then threw caution to the wind.  “Scott, I don’t need or even want to be kept in the loop on this shit.” I held my breath and waited for what I knew would not be a pretty reply.

“Fuck, Madison!  You got no choice.  The club needs to make sure you are safe, so you need to fuckin’ wise up and take this shit in.”

“What part of ‘I’m out’ don’t you understand?” I rubbed my eyes.  It was too late for this argument.

“What part of ‘you are never out’ do you not fuckin’ understand?” he snapped back.

I knew I was testing my brother’s patience but I gave up caring about that a long time ago.  I sat silently, trying to process what he was saying.

“Why do we have to rehash this crap every time you decide I should come back?” I searched for Blake’s eyes and found them focused on me.  He gave me a tight smile and I just shook my head back at him.  This stuff between Scott and me never got any easier and Blake knew how hard it was for me.

Scott softened his tone, “Madison, it’s different this time.  Nix is involved.”

And with that, he had me.  I sighed again, resigned.  “Okay, talk to me.”

“Nix has made threats against the club so Dad wants you to leave Coffs Harbour.  Move back here, where we can protect you.” Scott finally got to the reason for the call.

“No.” There was no way I was moving back.

“Why the fuck do you have to be so fuckin’ stubborn about this?” Scott was pissed again and I imagined him pacing and getting ready to punch something.

“Scott, you know what I left.  I can’t go back.” I pleaded.  I walked out onto the balcony and quickly lit a cigarette and took a long drag on it.  Scott had stopped talking and I hoped he was remembering the mess I was when I left two years ago.

“Ok,” he blew out a long breath.  “But I’m putting a guy on you.”

This was not what I wanted but I knew better than to argue.  It was Scott’s version of compromising, and as he was not known for compromising, ever, I was grateful.

***

The next morning I woke up with an uneasy feeling in my gut, wondering where all this shit with the club would end up.  I made a coffee and took it into the shower with me.  Not being a morning person, I needed a caffeine hit to get me going.  Serena, on the other hand, was always up at five am to get her run in before work.  I didn’t understand this current trend for running and really couldn’t comprehend anyone wanting to get up that early to do it.  As I took my shower I could hear her crashing around in the kitchen making breakfast.  I cringed at the thought of the mess she would create making one of her juices; a mess that I would have to clean up.

“Maddy, do you want me to make you some breakfast?” she yelled out.

“No honey, but thanks.  I’m just going to grab something on the way.”

“Okay,” she replied and I smiled to myself.  She might struggle in the domestic department but at least she tried.  One day she would make someone a good wife because she truly loved to take care of those around her.

I finished my shower and took some time to blow dry my hair and fix my makeup.  Normally I didn’t spend a lot of time on this but today I was feeling down, and on down days I liked to look my best.  I looked in the mirror and didn’t mind what I saw.  Even though I had done some hard living, I had come through pretty much unscathed.  Since giving up alcohol I had made an effort to live pretty healthily and I was fit and strong thanks to yoga and crossfit.  I had fairly flawless skin that I had inked a few times with images and words that held significance to the highs and lows of my life.  The most prominent reminder of the shit I had done in my life was the long scar that Rob had inflicted on me; it glared at me every damn day, but I didn’t begrudge it.  Whenever Serena or Blake suggested I ink over it, I always said no; I needed to see it to keep me focused on a path that would take me far away from where I once was.

“I’m ready,” I announced as I headed into the kitchen to grab my lunch out of the fridge.  Serena and I had a shift together today which I was really looking forward to.

“Let me just put my hair up and then we can go,” she replied and slapped my ass on her way out of the kitchen.

I laughed and shook my head at her.  Yep, it was going to be a good day.

Five minutes later, Serena reappeared with her hair done.  She tilted her head and smiled at me; I knew she was sussing out my mental state.  “How you doing, chica?” she finally asked.

“I’m not sure,” I was honest, “The fact that Nix is involved in all of this worries me.  Scott didn’t give me a lot of info to go on but I can only imagine it is bad.  Nix is a motherfucker you don’t want to mess with.”

Serena nodded, “Yeah, I’ve worked that out from some of the stuff you’ve told me in the past.  How the hell did you end up dating him?”

I sighed.  “I was so messed up and pissed off with J, and Nix was just there one night and it felt like a good idea at the time.  Dad and I weren’t really speaking and I was annoyed at him too and I knew that being with Nix would shit him.  I think I kinda did it to get back at all of them; J, Dad and Scott.”