“Yes.” My voice sounded shaky. “With some friends from school.” That made me sound twelve. “They’re teachers, too. From my school.” I was dangerously close to babbling. I grabbed my purse from the table in the foyer, trying to collect myself. What was happening? “You didn’t tell me what you think of my outfit.”

“You, uh, you look . . . yeah.”

My heart sank. Was that bad?

And should I ask?

I decided against it. My fishing expedition had been fruitless. With a sigh I reached into my purse with the intent of transferring over my wallet to my handbag and felt a lump. I’d forgotten that I’d stopped by the pet store yesterday and picked up a Christmas present for Pigeon. It was a girl stuffed pigeon with pink wings and I thought she might like it. I took the wrapped box out of my purse and put it under the tree. “Before I forget again, I got a present for Pigeon. And now the tree doesn’t look so bare.”

Placing the present brought me closer to him and he was studying me again in a way I didn’t understand.

“You bought a Christmas gift for my dog?” There was a strange catch in his voice.

“Of course. I love her. She’s a good girl, aren’t you, Pigeon?” She barked at me happily in reply, her tail wagging.

Still, Tyler didn’t speak. Wanting to break whatever this bizarre tension was, I said, “I’m going to go. Don’t watch The Bachelor without me.”

Then he was back, his blue eyes bright, a smile hovering on his lips. “There is zero chance of that happening.”

My joke made things feel somewhat normal and I decided to leave before I said or did something to mess it up again.

It actually felt a little weird to be going somewhere without Tyler. We’d been spending, well, almost all our free time together lately.

But it would be good. I thought a little distance couldn’t hurt. And I hoped my friends would be able to help me untangle the mess that my life had become.

Because I no longer felt equipped to figure it out on my own.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Both Delia and Shay had come to pick me up. They scooted over and all three of us were crushed in the back seat. Our driver was a middle-aged man with a deep Texan drawl who introduced himself as Jimbo.

I’d just said hello to him when Shay demanded, “We’ve waited long enough. Spill!”

So I did. I told them everything that had happened since we’d last chatted. I told them about the weird run-in with Brad, and how he told me I couldn’t have a job once we got “married” and that he’d failed to grasp the concept that we were done. Then I quickly shifted gears to fill them in on every amazing and glittery thing that had been happening with Tyler. Shay was so excited she practically had hearts in her eyes.

Well, I told them almost everything. But I didn’t tell them about his mom. That was between Tyler and me.

“What else?” Shay asked.

So I filled them in on the present from Singapore, the beautiful comment, and the thing with the shower, which made Shay laugh.

“Oh, yeah, right, he ‘forgot’ to tell you,” she said, using air quotes around the word forgot. “He probably wanted that to happen. On a subconscious level.”

“I don’t think so. He seemed pretty mortified. Although I can tell you, he had nothing to be embarrassed about.”

That made both of my friends dissolve into giggles. The car wasn’t moving and I noticed that we were sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Jimbo muttered something about construction, and it probably would have been quicker for us to walk to the club than it was to drive.

But it worked out in my favor because I still had stuff to tell them before a thumping club mix made it too loud for us to hear each other.

I told them about this morning, about the cookies and Tyler making me breakfast, buying the Christmas tree. I was warming up to what had happened right before I left when Delia announced, “You’ve basically kissed him.”

“What?” I asked, not sure I had heard her right.

“He gave you his glass. Your mouth was where his mouth was. Same thing as kissing.”

I laughed, wondering if she’d been pregaming and had already had something to drink before she left the house. It was extremely silly, especially given that I assumed kissing Tyler would be nothing like pressing my lips against a cold glass. Because I had imagined that very act many times and knew that there wouldn’t be anything cold about Tyler.

Which gave me a little heated shiver.

Shay had to add in her two cents. “Buying a Christmas tree together feels like a very couple-y thing to do. And then making plans to decorate it? With hot chocolate and mini marshmallows and Christmas music and a movie? You’ve basically been married for six years because everything you’re doing screams couple.”

“The problem is, I can’t tell the difference between what I want to have happen and what is actually happening. I want to respect his boundaries and stay just friends.” Especially since Brad had been so unable to respect mine. I knew what that felt like, and it sucked. “But the truth is I do have a crush on him and am maybe even falling for him. But I can’t tell if he feels the same and it doesn’t help that my attraction barometer is all off because the only guy I’ve ever dated lied to me all the time.”

They both nodded, looking at me seriously for the first time that night. I kept talking. “Like tonight. I came out to get my purse and he just . . . stared at me. But did he stare at me? Or am I making it up in my head? And if he was, why?”

“Did he say anything?” Delia asked.

“He started to say something about how I looked but he was kind of hemming and hawing and didn’t finish his sentence so I don’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.”

Shay said, “Oh, please.” She dragged the word please out to, like, six syllables. “Look at you in this black dress. You basically rendered the man speechless.”

My chest felt light and sparkly. I wanted so badly to believe her. “Do you really think so?”

She rolled her eyes at me and said, “This guy could write I think you’re hot in Sharpie on your forehead and you’d still be asking us if he liked you.”

I was a little offended. That wasn’t true. If he wrote it in Sharpie on my forehead, I thought I’d believe it then.

“Here you are, ladies,” Jimbo said, pulling up in front of the club. “And even though it’s none of my business, I’m glad you dumped that Brad guy and you should give this Tyler a chance.”

“And that’s why you’re going to get a big tip,” Shay said as we climbed out of the car.

As Jimbo drove off I said, “If Tyler is attracted to me, then why isn’t he doing anything about it?”

“Other than spending his every waking moment with you?” Shay asked sarcastically.

Delia linked her arm through mine. “Doesn’t he think you’re still with Brad? Maybe he’s trying to be a good guy and not hit on his roommate who has a boyfriend.”

I’d never considered that. Part of me immediately wanted to blame my aunt. She’d made him think that Brad was this serious thing in my life when he hadn’t been a real part of it in a long time. Of course, I’d played a part in that, too, by staying quiet. “That makes sense. But Tyler keeps reiterating that we’re friends. He high-fived me today. It’s like our only house rule.”