Revealed: The Missing Years Page 60

“Are you still considering my offer?” Tim asked with a grin.

Extending his hand, John said, “Yes, Tim, I’m considering it.”

John didn’t give Tim an answer the day they met or even the next week. He talked to Emily and to Amber. The prospect of practicing law again excited him more than he’d anticipated. Though he could accept the offer, he had his own legal hoops to jump through before he’d be licensed in Iowa. But that could be done, and when it came to SiJo, John believed he’d done all he could do. Since the incident, his heart hadn’t been in it. He was truthful when he told Amber that he believed she could find someone new to take the position further.

Did Anthony’s letter confess to being the person who set him up and took away his life? Not directly. Nevertheless, John chose not to share the letter with Emily. He knew she’d see manipulation and deceit in every word; however, during their discussions he explained that though Anthony was still part of Rawlings Industries, Tim was the one who wanted to hire him. Tim would be the one to whom John would report. Both he and Emily liked the prospect of being together again as a family, especially with Michael on the way. After much debate, John accepted Tim’s offer, resigned his position at SiJo, and moved to Iowa.

In the past five months, he and Emily added Michael to their family, purchased a home, and began a new life—again. It was true that every upheaval in their lives could be associated with Anthony Rawlings. Nevertheless, with time, it even surprised John that he could now say the word Rawlings without feeling the deep-seated hatred from before. He supposed that was because along the way, the meaning of the word had changed. Rawlings no longer solely represented the man: instead, it stood for the company, a part of Claire and Nichol.

Though it was undeniably Nichol and Claire’s last name, Emily had done her best to remove it from anything associated with Claire. John knew his wife meant well. She’d explained her stance many times. In her mind, Anthony was inarguably responsible for everything negative in Claire’s life. Not only was he responsible for the concussion she’d sustained while with him, but the injury she had in California. After all, she reasoned, Chester wouldn’t have been after Claire, if it weren’t for Anthony. Emily interpreted the doctors’ findings to say that Claire was suffering a psychotic break brought on by the TBI. She believed that by creating a stress-free, anti-Anthony environment, Claire could heal and recover. She forbade anything that would in any way remind her sister of her life over the past almost five years. Though Emily couldn’t legally have Rawlings removed from Claire’s name, she made it clear to everyone at Everwood that her sister was to only be addressed as Claire Nichols. Since Emily was her court-appointed guardian and was the one who paid the medical expenses—with Anthony’s money—her wishes were followed.

Arriving at the federal courthouse, John made his way to the grand jury chambers. John was glad that Catherine wasn’t present during this phase. He hadn’t spoken to her since the day in the hospital when she’d so brazenly lied to him and Jane. He shook his head at the mangled web of deceit. Could it be that she’d lied to Anthony, too?

Each day at Rawlings Industries tore a little of John’s hatred away and built his respect for the businessman in Anthony Rawlings. In the months of his recent employment, with Tim’s permission, John had scoured years and decades of records of acquisitions, employment, and dissolution of contracts. It was just as Tim had promised. The lies and sins of Anthony’s personal life had not transcended into his company.

John waited outside the grand jury chambers and thought about the lengthiness of the judicial procedure. This was only the grand jury phase. If the sixteen to twenty-three people inside the room decided there was enough evidence for a trial, then Catherine would finally be indicted. It had already been eight months since John and Emily had been locked in that suite. Although they’d only been held for a few hours, as he read about Claire’s days of seclusion, he could relate better than most.

He’d been subpoenaed to testify at 9:00 AM. Though the subpoena hadn’t specified what questions he would be asked, he suspected it was about the day at the estate. As he thought back to that day and remembered the realization of the locked door, he recalled the terror as the room began to fill with smoke. He’d tried to break the windows. Not even the glass doors to the balcony would open. John was more afraid for Emily and their baby. Then, the door opened. It was Anthony. Before he could process any more memories, the chamber door opened and the woman said, “Mr. Vandersol, please come back.”

Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be.

—Jack Welch

“My Life as It Didn’t Appear, Chapter 14…

I couldn’t believe I was engaged and marrying Anthony Rawlings. When I woke the morning after his proposal, our engagement filled my every thought. At the time, I didn’t realize that my single-mindedness was exactly what he wanted. In merely eight months, I’d lost myself, learned my role, and played it without question. Rarely did I have independent notions. It wasn’t that I didn’t think and process, but every concept was skewed. Every moment of deliberation centered not on my own desire or aspiration but his. Each movement and action had one purpose—to please him and keep the darkness at bay.

The night before, as we discussed the wedding, my thoughts filled with illusions of fairytales. I believed that I’d lived through the worse, and I held tight to his promises for better. It wasn’t his money I desired: it was his name. I longed for validation in my new position. I craved to hold my head high without trepidation. From the very beginning, Tony required that physical poise. Yet, with my chin held high and my eyes glued to his, I felt like an imposter. He’d forced me into duties that I’d been raised to know were wrong. When we’d go into public, or even with his friends, I constantly feared that everyone knew the truth.

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