My core sang out its need but I acted like I had no clue what he was going on about. I remained silent and tried to push him again. Jesus, his muscles had multiplied since the last time I’d touched him. And they were rock hard. Good lord, I was done for if he pushed this. I could keep my heart closed but my body could never deny him.

He dipped his face towards mine and said, “Your hands on me... feels good. Been too fuckin’ long.”

God, why do you hate me?

Why do you send temptation my way when you know it will only lead to more heartbreak?

I dropped my hands and tried to harden my gaze. I needed to show him I had no intention of going there with him again. “And it won’t happen again,” I snapped. “Now let me through.”

His brows raised but he stepped aside, and I finally entered the kitchen to find my mother busy at the sink washing up. Tupperware containers surrounded her, confusing the hell out of me.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

She kept washing but turned her head to look at me. Smiling, she said, “Kick dropped by to say hello and I’m thankful he did because I got him to change the washer on the tap. It had been leaking for ages, driving me crazy.”

“You should have asked me to do it, Mum.”

She frowned. “You know how to do that?”

Kick chuckled from behind me and muttered, “Yeah she does, ‘cause I taught her.”

I paid no attention to him and did my best to ignore the memories flashing in my mind of the hot summer day Kick and I had sex on the kitchen floor of his house after he showed me how to change the washer on the tap in that kitchen. “What’s with the Tupperware, Mum?” She must have had every single piece she owned on the kitchen bench.

She stopped washing up, turned her body to face me and gave me her full attention, a look of humour crossing her face. “I had a bloody spider in the kitchen and the Tupperware cupboard was open. This was before Kick arrived. Anyway, the damn spider crawled in that cupboard and you know how much I hate spiders... I started madly pulling Tupperware out and onto the floor until I could see the spider. When I saw it, I shut the cupboard to trap it. I was gonna call you to come get it out, but Kick showed up and found it for me.”

I spun around to face him. “Did you kill it?”

His face softened and he murmured, “No, Evie, I didn’t kill it. I remember.”

“I wanted him to, but he reminded me how much you hate that so he took it outside for me. Goodness gracious, I have no idea why you won’t just let us kill them,” my mother said.

Undeniable warmth spread through me that he’d done that.

For me.

And that he’d remembered.

I was still facing Kick and he whispered, “I get it, baby.”

My breathing picked up at his words. More memories flashed in my mind - Kick and I at about sixteen, telling each other our deepest fears and heartaches. He was the only one who got it, who knew why I was so against killing spiders.

Shelly loved spiders.

I stared up at him, lost in the memories, and then I took a deep breath and turned back to face mum. Brushing off what she’d said, I changed the subject. “I can’t stay long, but do you need me to do anything or pick anything up at the store for you?”

“No, I stopped at the supermarket on my way home from work yesterday and picked up some groceries.”

I smiled at her. “That’s good, Mum.”

She returned my smile. “I’m trying, Evie, I promise.”

I reached out and squeezed her hand. “I know.”

Her face turned sombre. “How are you doing? After the funeral?”

“I can’t believe he’s gone.” My voice choked up as Jeremy’s face flashed through my mind. For a moment there I’d had a reprieve from the memories.

I watched as she swallowed hard and realised this would be stirring her memories and regrets up, too. She nodded quickly and then turned back to the sink and busied herself with dishes again. Mum wasn’t the kind of woman who ever liked to talk about her daughter’s death, in fact I could hardly recall having any real conversations of substance about it with her. I waited to see if she would say anything further but she didn’t, and I let her have that. It was probably not the best choice but I’d never pushed her to talk.

Turning, I looked up at Kick. “Thanks for helping Mum.”

He nodded, his intense gaze never leaving mine. “Anytime.”

When he didn’t move to let me out of the kitchen, I widened my eyes and nodded at the entry in a let-me-out-of-here gesture. He took his time but he finally stepped aside, and I brushed past him. Without a backwards glance I left the house and hurried to my car. My mind and body were tangled with desire and confusion, and the sooner I got out of Kick’s space, the better.

As I opened my car door, a hand grasped my arm and stopped me. I turned in surprise to find Kick behind me.

Shit.

“What?” I demanded.

“Your mum’s doing well.”

“You came after me to tell me that?”

With a shake of his head, he said, “No.”

We stood watching each other, not saying a word. I truly didn’t know what he wanted after all this time. “Yeah, she’s doing okay at the moment. I got her to see someone and start working through all her shit. Finally. Only took nineteen years, but she’s getting to the point where she’s leaving the house more and more.”

“That’s good. I hated watching her shut herself away like that.”