My back arched, inviting him, and he moaned against my skin, one arm around my waist, the other leaning on the mirror behind me. His hold was firm, safe, as he kept me in place. He thrust into me, just once, but fuck was it—

Bang, bang, bang. “Nate!”

“Fuck off!” Nate shouted back.

I covered his mouth with my hand and shook my head at him, trying to contain my laughter. “Don’t talk to him like that.”

He pulled my hand away and kissed it once before straightening up. Tiny yelled, “What the fuck are you doing? We’re gonna be late. Benny’s already blowing up my phone.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “Hang on!”

“You said that ten minutes ago!”

Nate’s shoulders dropped with his heavy exhale. “I have to go,” he said, kissing me once. “I’ll be back before you need your insulin. I put your vitamins next to your lunch in the fridge. Don’t forget to eat. Have them at the same—”

“I got it.”

I pushed him away and jumped off the counter. Gripping his shoulders, I turned him around and pushed him toward the door. “Go!”

With one hand on the knob, he faced me, his gaze pinning me in place as he leaned forward. He settled his hand on the back of my head and pulled me to him, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead. “It’ll be good, Bailey,” he murmured, his tone distant.

“What will?”

“You and me, bella ragazza.”

*

I paced. I cleaned. I showered. Cleaned. Showered. Cleaned some more. It was by far the slowest day in the history of days. I thought maybe I could sleep, make time tick without me counting down the seconds, so that’s where I found myself, in my bed tossing and turning when I heard the front door open and the familiar beeps of the alarm. I practically jumped out of my skin and out of the bed. I was excited, nervous, anxious… all of it, all at once.

My hand froze on the doorknob as I tried to calm my breathing, tried to settle my pulse.

“Bailey?” Nate shouted.

I didn’t respond; my mind racing with too many thoughts… what if he regretted this morning? What if things became weird? What if he wanted me gone? What if he wanted sex and—

Before I could finish my thought, he knocked on my door and pushed it open, startling a little when he saw me right behind it. And then he smiled—that rare but perfect smile—and I lost my mind and my breath and my heart in his single display of emotion. “Why didn’t you call out when I said your name?” he asked.

“I—”

“I was worried.”

“About what?”

“That maybe you left.”

“I wouldn’t leave.”

“No?”

I shook my head.

“Good.” His gaze flicked to my bed quickly before taking my hands and leading me there. He sat down on the edge and brought me between his legs. The excitement from earlier turned to fear as he settled his head on my stomach and brought my hands to his hair. The warmth of his exhales flooded my belly, inside and out.

“I’ve been thinking about this all day,” he said, looking up at me. “I just wanted to come home and feel this.”

“Me playing with your hair?”

He shook his head. “No, Bailey. You. I just wanted to feel you.”

I did my best to stop my grin from splitting my face in two.

He sighed. “Goddamn it, I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” I admitted quietly.

“Come here,” he whispered, gently grasping the back of my neck and pulling me to him. His kisses were slow and devastatingly passionate. He kept our mouths locked as he lay back on the mattress, taking me with him. His hand on my neck moved to my hip, his thumb skimming the skin just above my sweats. I tilted my head to the side and licked his lips, just like he did with mine this morning. He moaned into my mouth and I pulled back, gasping for breath. I kissed his jaw, loving the feel of his stubble stinging my lips. I tried to stay in control of the lust that had been building all day while I moved to his neck—kissing, licking, sucking, biting, just like he did. His hands gripped my waist as he pushed up and into me. I bit down on his shoulder when he did it again. And again. “Fuck, Bailey.”

A dull ache formed in the pit of my stomach, the same one I felt whenever he touched me. His large hands flattened on my back, under my top, holding me in place as he kept on with the tiny thrusts. He was panting, his hands moving lower while my lips moved higher. He met me half way, covering my mouth with his. No longer slow, our kisses became desperate, and after a moment, he pulled back, his eyes dark, unfocused. He blinked hard before saying, “You have no idea what you do to me.”

Before I could react, his phone went off. “That’s the alarm. You gotta take your meds.” But he made no effort to move.

Through the lust-filled haze in my head, I managed to get out, “I’m sure it can wait a few minutes.”

“Just a few more minutes,” he mumbled, bringing his lips back to mine. His hands moved down my back and to my thighs, lifting me higher on him and drawing them up beneath me. I was straddling his waist, his erection rubbing on my center.

Then I tensed. Flashbacks of the night invaded my mind, and I tried to push them back, but I couldn’t. A knot formed in my throat as I pulled away, looking anywhere but at him.

“Bai?” He’d never called me Bai before, but I couldn’t enjoy the moment. I couldn’t even look at him. Somehow, he knew, because he linked our fingers together and settled them on either side of his head. “Look at me, Bailey.”

Reluctantly, I did as he asked.

He squeezed both my hands. “You’re in control. We do what you want. We stop when you want. Always.”

I kissed him again. Because I couldn’t not. And when I pressed his hands into the bed, he gave in to me. When I cried into his mouth, he kissed me harder. And when my tears fell from my eyes, he kissed them away. The few more minutes we planned turned to twenty. Me on top of him, and him kissing away my pain.

 

 

19

 

Nate

“It’s all there,” I told Franco as he eyed the cash in the gym bag between us. “Minus the 20k from the last batch you screwed us over with.”

“Fuck you,” Louis Franco spat. “There was nothing wrong with that batch.”

Franco—he reminded me of Uncle Benny, not just because he was of Benny’s generation, but also because he was short and stocky, just like all the men in the Franco family. Generations of men failed to do what Quentin Franco had set up. Back in the day, Quentin was the most feared man in Philly. But he was stupid. He deemed his sons next in line instead of his number two. When Quentin had died, there was a bloodbath. Members of his family fought for what was theirs. Dante Franco, Louis’s brother, was one of the reasons I took over my father’s role. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer… all that shit. Fifty years later and it was the same bullshit with their family. Only the Francos’ ranking was lower, matching the quality of their supply.

I said, “It was shit, and you fuckin’ know it. A kid OD’d a couple months back, and I can guarantee if I did enough digging, it would lead back to your supply.”