“Why did Maggs say it was okay, then?” I demanded. Damn, he was heavy. He smelled good, too, which I hated. Predictably, my body wasn’t listening to my brain again, because I had the urge to spread my legs and wrap them around his waist.

“Fuck if I know, but she did it on purpose,” he growled. “Might want to ask her about that. She set you up, and that means she set me up. I’ll have words with her later.”

I narrowed my eyes.

“You leave Maggs alone,” I said, glaring. “If someone needs to ‘have words’ with her, it’ll be me. If you and Horse had a problem, would you want me involved?”

“Jesus, you’re a pain in the ass,” he said.

“And you’re a disgusting pig man. No respect for me at all—”

“I respect you,” he said, frowning. I snorted.

“Yeah, I’ll bet you f**k all the women you respect in public? And what the hell was that shit about coming on my stomach? I’m not a damned  p**n  star, Ruger—I’m still all sticky and disgusting. Kinda hard to clean up in a Porta-John.”

“This house has three showers, babe. Not my fault you haven’t taken one yet. I like the idea of me all over you, so no rush on that.”

“I was busy packing! I wanted to get out of here before you got home, ass**le!”

“Yeah, I see that,” he muttered. He leaned down, his face so close our lips almost brushed. “You’re not moving out, babe. You’re mine. We covered this. Done deal.”

“Oh, I’m definitely moving out,” I told him. “Not even you can think this is healthy, Ruger.”

He smiled at me with the eyes of a predator.

“I don’t care if it’s healthy,” he whispered. “Whole damned world’s unhealthy. You think all those people living in giant houses on the lake have happy, pretty, perfect lives? You think those bitches aren’t backstabbing each other while their husbands f**k interns on their lunch breaks?”

I shook my head.

“My friend Kimber’s not like that. Her life’s nice and normal and not crazy at all.”

“Then she’s one in a thousand,” he replied. “Because I swear to you, sometimes the nastiest shit happens behind the prettiest doors, while everyone laughs and smiles and pretends everything’s okay. Here’s the thing about my world. We’re f**ked up. We own it. We take care of business and move on. In twenty years those ‘healthy’ people you’re so jealous of will still be backstabbing each other, and their kids will, too.”

“I’ll take my chances,” I said.

Ruger scowled and pushed himself up abruptly. Then he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of wheat. I squawked as he carried me out of the room and up the stairs to his loft, kicking and punching him the entire time. Didn’t do a bit of good. I don’t know what I expected—maybe that he’d throw me down on the bed and ravish me, like a movie or something. He didn’t. Instead he carried me into his big bathroom, dumped me in the shower and turned on the faucet.

“What the hell are you doing!” I shrieked as cold water hit me, still fully clothed. Ruger grabbed the shower hose and started spraying me down with it.

“I’m showin’ you respect,” he yelled back at me. “So sorry I got you all messy earlier. Just doing my best to make this relationship healthy and clean, because that’s so f**kin’ important to you. Aren’t I a f**kin’ prince?”

“I hate you!” I screamed, lunging for the hose. He laughed and sprayed my face. I lashed out and slipped. In a flash, Ruger caught me, then pulled me tight into his body. I found myself looking up at him, my wet clothes soaking both of us, one of his arms wrapped around my waist and his other hand tight in my hair.

We glared at each other.

“Jesus, you f**k with my head,” he said roughly. “My c**k gets hard just thinkin’ about you. You’re in my dreams every night. I wake up in the morning and all I think about is you in my house, you and Noah finally mine. My family. It’s even better than ridin’ my bike. I’m crazy for you, Soph.”

I shook my head, stunned. I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t afford to.

“You’re just saying that to control me,” I whispered, not sure whether I was talking to myself or him.

“Fuck me, you just don’t get it, do you?”

He took my mouth in a fast, hard kiss and I fought him for about two seconds. Then I gave in, because my body recognized him, needed him. Suddenly there were too many clothes between us. Our hands scrambled and I discovered that water-logged jeans—even cutoff ones—must be the least convenient thing on earth to wear when you need quick access.

Still, I managed to get them down and kicked away just as he grabbed my waist, spun me around and leaned me against the counter. I looked up to see him in the mirror, face flushed red with need, eyes capturing mine as he slammed his c**k deep inside. It filled me fast and hard, stretching me until it bordered on pain. I gasped, the sound a mix of pleasure and pain.

I’ve never felt anything better in my life.

“Fuckin’ crazy for you,” he muttered, fingers digging into my skin. “Always have been.”

“Ruger …”

Then he took me, forcing me to brace myself with both hands as he pounded me from behind. One hand steadied my hips while the other reached around to my clit. That piercing of his slid along my G-spot, the hard little knobs of metal on the top and bottom of his c**k head carrying me to a whole new level of sensation. My orgasm hit with agonizing speed and I screamed, pulsing around him.

Ruger thrust three more times and then he came, too, hot seed spurting.

Shit. We’d forgotten the condom again.

He pulled out of me slowly and we looked at each other in the mirror, our chests heaving. He was fully clothed and I still wore my T-shirt. My hair was sopping wet and scraggly, and eye makeup ran down my face.

I was a hot mess without the “hot” part.

“Do you have any diseases?” I asked, my brain valiantly fighting for control. He shook his head, still watching me in the mirror.

“I always use a condom,” he said. “Never f**k a girl without one, actually.”

“Fucked me without one twice,” I said, my voice dry. “Wanna rethink your answer?”

He offered a smug smile.

“I know you’re on the pill,” he said. “So pregnancy’s not the issue. Also know you’re clean. You’re my woman, so why shouldn’t I feel you around me? And I swear to you, babe. I have never, ever f**ked anyone without protection before. I even donated blood about two weeks ago—all clear.”

“That’s a relief,” I said, straightening. I looked around for my panties and shorts. They’d landed near the toilet, dripping water everywhere.

“How do you know I’m on the pill?” I asked, reaching for a towel to wrap around myself.

“Found ’em in your purse,” he said without a hint of shame. I looked up, startled.

“Why were you in my purse?” I asked, not pleased.

“To get your phone,” he replied, tucking himself back into his pants. “I wanted to set up the GPS on it.”

I stopped cold.

“You have GPS tracking my phone?” I asked, incredulous. “What the hell is wrong with you? You want to chip me like a dog, too?”

“I want to be able to find you if there’s an emergency,” he said, his face growing serious. “I know it sounds paranoid, but we had a real bad situation last winter … Marie and Horse would be dead right now if I hadn’t had GPS on her. Nearly died as it was. Now I do it for all the girls in the club. Don’t worry, I don’t spy on you or anything. But it’ll be there if you ever get in trouble.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” I said, closing my eyes. I was exhausted, I realized. No wonder my brain wouldn’t kick in and tell me what to do.

“Let’s go to bed,” he said. “I’m tired. You’re tired.”

“I’ll sleep downstairs,” I told him, clutching the towel as I reached for my clothes.

“You’ll sleep up here with me,” he replied. “You can fight me on it and lose, which is more work for both of us, or you can just give in. Gonna end the same either way.”

I looked at him and knew he was right. I’d set him straight later—right now I needed rest.

“Can I borrow something to wear?” I asked, trying not to yawn. “I’m too tired to go get dry stuff.”

“I’d rather you sleep naked.”

“I’d rather you go f**k yourself, but seeing as that’s not an option, can I borrow something to wear?”

He smiled at me.

“Knock yourself out. Shirts are in the top drawer, underwear in the second one down.”

I left the bathroom and looked around to find his dresser. Sure enough, the top drawer held a variety of T-shirts. I found one with a Reapers symbol on it and pulled it out. Then I moved down to the next drawer. Most of his stuff was black or gray, but a flash of pink in the back caught my eye.

What the hell?

I pulled out a pair of silky, pink panties.

“Jesus, Ruger,” I said. “Is there anywhere in this house women don’t leave their lingerie? It’s like a damned Victoria’s Secret in here!”

I turned to him, holding the panties out with two fingers, disgusted. He cocked his head and gave me a strange smile.

“Those are yours, actually,” he said slowly. “You left them behind.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That first night,” he said. “With Zach. You left them in my apartment. Had ’em ever since.”

I froze, and studied them more closely. It’d been a long time, but they did look familiar. I’d been so sad to lose them, because I’d bought them special …

“I can’t decide if that’s just a little bit creepy or really, super creepy,” I said finally, glancing over at him. He shrugged, eyes holding mine steady.

“You asked me the other night if wanting you was a new thing,” he said, his face free of mockery for once. “It’s not a new thing, babe. Not a new thing at all.”

I woke suddenly, wondering where the hell I was. A strong, masculine arm lay across my stomach, pinning me down. A vaulted cedar ceiling rose overhead. I turned to see Ruger lying facedown next to me, and it all came back in a rush.

I needed to get out of here before he woke up and started in on his you’re-my-woman-and-I-own-you bullshit. I couldn’t afford to play around anymore—Noah had been through enough already.

Lifting his arm cautiously, I rolled out of bed and turned to look at his sleeping form. Ruger’s back was half covered by the sheet, and for the first time I had the chance to study his ink in full light. His perfectly sculpted body wasn’t just sexy. It was literally a work of art. His arms were a mass of patterns and designs so intricate I had trouble following them, but dominating his right bicep was a picture of what had to be Noah’s Ark. The animals marching away from it were fantastical, dragons and demons and snakes, but the Ark itself was unmistakable.

My breath caught. How had I never noticed that before?

He shifted in his sleep, the sheet slipping lower. I couldn’t allow myself much time … I wanted to leave before he woke up and we started fighting. Given our track record, I’d have sex with him again if that happened. My clit perked up and sent an urgent memo to my brain endorsing that option. Screwing a man-whore had one advantage—he certainly knew what he was doing.

As for the pink panties I wore? I didn’t know what to think about that. It should’ve grossed me out, but it mostly just turned me on. All those years I’d been lusting after him, and he’d been lusting after me, too. Not enough to stay faithful, of course. But he’d still wanted me.

My ni**les joined my clit in petitioning for another round.

I ignored both of them.

Nothing had changed. The party, Em, all the reasons I should avoid the Reapers. Ruger and I simply couldn’t be together. But for a few minutes, while he still slept, I let myself study the incredibly sexy man who’d been an unofficial father to my son. Across the top of his back was a broad, curved banner of ink matching the patch on his cut that said “Reapers.” Their symbol—the Reaper himself—covered the center, and I saw just a hint of the bottom rocker, which I knew would say “Idaho.”

Strange as it sounds, the combination of his club colors and the Ark illustrated Ruger’s contradictions perfectly.

Strange spots covered his shoulders, and along his side I saw just a hint of the panther’s claw reaching around from his hip.

He shifted and I froze, reality crashing back down.

I needed to get out or we’d have another fight. Realistically, we’d have another fight regardless, but a little break would be nice. I went downstairs and found my phone, checking the time. Seven in the morning. It took me less than thirty minutes to finish the last of my packing. Then I carried everything out to the car, loaded it, and climbed in.

I turned the key in the ignition, feeling sad and just a little wistful.

Things would turn out, I told myself firmly. I was doing the right thing. As if to prove my point, the sun was already high and bright. Birds were singing like in some stupid Disney movie. I turned out of the driveway onto the road and saw Elle, Ruger’s neighbor, walking along with her dog. She smiled as she saw me, waving me down. I pulled over.

Elle’s eyes flicked over the car, noting the presence of boxes and the lack of a child.