Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs Page 25


“Sit down, Jerry. We have to talk.” I sat on the sofa.


“Again? We already talked this week. Florence said that was probably enough for a couple who’d been together as long as we have.” Jerry faked a put-upon expression and sat close beside me. Maybe it was good that we wore our robes and nothing else. When he got ready to kill me, I could whip out a bare boob and distract him.


“Forget Flo and her TV talk show advice.” I scooted over so I could face him. “This is serious. It’s about who I went to see in Malibu.”


“The diet guy. What about him?” Jerry moved his legs and his robe parted. He grinned when he saw me looking.


“Quit playing, Jerry. I mean it.” I reached over and covered him. He was too quick for me and slapped his hand over mine, holding it down where he wanted it.


“I know you do. You’re cute when you’re serious.” He had a twinkle in his eyes that I rarely got to see. Jerry teasing was a wonderful sight. He was clearly happy. With me.


And I was about to kill the joy. I gave in and increased the pressure of my fingers for a moment and leaned in to kiss his smile.


“I love you, Jerry. Remember that.”


“Now you’re scaring me, Gloriana. What the hell have you been up to?”


“The man I’ve been seeing. The man who has helped me lose an incredible five pounds.” I couldn’t help it. I had to stand and drop my robe. “Look. My butt is shrinking. It is, Jerry.”


“I can see that, though it was fine the way it was. Now, finish, lass, before I go mad.” But he did reach out and stroke his hand along the curve of my ass, as if testing the size of it. I sighed, then picked up my robe again.


He snatched it away with a grin. “No need to go crazy. Unless this is life or death, you can tell your tale as well naked as dressed. And”—he pulled me between his knees—“I’m sure I’ll accept whatever ‘news’ this is much more happily with this view in front of me.” He leaned forward and licked one of my nipples.


“Oh, God, Jerry, if only it were that simple.” I pushed my fingers into his hair and held his head to my breast.


That got his attention. He looked up. “Glory?”


“Okay, here goes.” I stepped back out of teeth-gnashing range. “The diet guru is Ian MacDonald.”


Here it came. Gaelic. A string of what was surely profanity accompanied by Jerry jumping up and grabbing the only thing in the room that could stand in for a weapon. He brandished a silver candlestick, his face red, his eyes on fire. Finally, he took a calming breath, slammed the silver down on the tiled counter and faced me. I’d slipped on the robe again, figuring rightly that, naked or dressed, there was no way I could sex my way out of this.


“You’ve had truck with Ian MacDonald. Are you mad, woman?”


“No. He’s been, uh, nice to me.” I stayed standing. I wasn’t about to let Jerry look down on me.


“And does he know you’re my woman?” Jerry growled this, his fangs down, his eyes hard.


“I told him I’m with Ray. Just like the tabloids say. He seems to believe me.” I reached out a shaking hand but thought better of touching him. “He knows you made me. But Ray went to Malibu with me. We played the devoted couple in front of Ian.”


Jerry’s mouth tightened. He hated the idea of my “devoted couple” act with Ray. He’d seen it for himself. Not good for his pride. And the reason he’d trotted out the giant ring the night before. I always wore Ray’s ring in public those nights. It absolutely killed Jerry.


“And you think MacDonald bought your act.”


“Sure. Ray paid for my treatment. He and Ray even talked about some other things, stuff Ray might try. Your name never came up.” I had probably just said too much.


“You’re a fool, Gloriana! He’s using you to get to me.” Jerry stalked to the window and looked out. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he had you followed after you left there. I told you I smelled another vampire on the roof last night. If one of his spies saw us together, he knows you’re mine.”


“Stop saying that!” I stomped my bare foot. “I am not yours. Or Ray’s or any man’s.” I knew I was getting off the subject but he’d just hit one of my hot buttons. “Damn it, Jerry, your attitude is not helping.”


“Listen to yourself, Gloriana. You’re spouting twenty-first-century women’s lib idiocy and ignoring the fact that you’ve probably set me, yourself and even Caine up to be staked.” Jerry threw off his robe and climbed into his clothes. “Get dressed. We need to get back to the hotel. I need backup and so do you.”


“Jerry, you’re overreacting. Ian’s done nothing—”


“Hasn’t he? Why the hell do you taste funny?” Jerry stopped to stare a hole in me. “Tell me more about his weight-loss thing. How does it work? You look pale. Why?”


“I’m a vampire. I’m always pale.” I held on to the back of the couch, suddenly nauseated again. Damn.


“Don’t play games with me, my girl.” He strode over and put his hands on my shoulders. “I want the truth. What’s he doing to you?”


I shook my head. No way was I going to tell him anything else about the supplements and my reactions to them. That would just reinforce his opinion that I was on a suicide mission. I didn’t believe it. Or maybe I didn’t want to believe it. I just pulled on my clothes and walked in stony silence out to the car.


Jerry grabbed my arm as I was about to climb in. “Talk to me, Gloriana. I’m worried about you. This is dangerous. Don’t you see that?”


“What I see is that you’re all about an ancient feud. Do you even know Ian MacDonald?”


“Of course I do. We’ve fought many times. He hates me; I hate him. His family and mine are sworn enemies. He’d like nothing better than to cause me pain.” Jerry ran his hand through his hair. “And hurting you would do that. More than you could ever know.”


I felt my anger soften a little. “I believe that, Jerry. But believe this. I’m doing this diet thing. Can you try to be rational? Not make it all about you?” I opened the car door. “Let’s go back. It’s too close to dawn for either of us to think straight.”


“That’s not true. And I’m not the one being irrational.” Jerry waited until I was settled, then slammed the car door. “I’m thinking that you’re too damned concerned about how you’ll look on Israel Caine’s arm at the Grammys to think about anything else. So you’ll risk whatever it takes to lose a few measly pounds. Well, I hope it’s worth it, Gloriana, because, trust me, Ian MacDonald will make sure you pay well for your moment in the spotlight. I just hope it’s not with your life.”


I took a shaky breath and decided I couldn’t respond to that or I’d burst into tears. Was I that shallow? That vain? And what was the freakin’ deal about my tasting funny? We rode the miles back to the hotel in tense silence. By the time we got to the rear entrance, I wanted Jerry to say something, at least promise he wouldn’t go after Ian until . . . Until what? After the Grammys so I could look good? Maybe I was that shallow and vain.


He helped me out of the car and walked me to the back door. It was just thirty minutes until the sun would come up and I was dragging. I’m sure Jerry was too, but you’d never know it to look at his firm step and squared shoulders. He was clearly so livid he was about to morph into a bat and screech, which, according to him, was a great way to blow off steam. I’ve never tried it myself or been tempted to.


“Wait, Gloriana.” He stopped me at the back door with a hand on my arm.


I looked around, relieved that no paparazzi had staked out this area. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Jerry. I knew you’d hate this, but I’m not feuding with the MacDonalds.”


“Promise me you won’t go out there again.” His hands were on my shoulders now, his eyes boring into mine.


“I won’t promise that. There are just a few more days until I never have to see Ian again. Give me that, Jerry.” I looked away because there was so much I wasn’t telling him. And he’d absolutely kill Valdez when he found out how those supplements had done a number on me.


“I assume you’ve taken Valdez with you to these meetings with MacDonald.” His words hit me like ice chips.


Uh-oh. Was Jerry somehow reading my mind through my block? No, not possible. He just knew me too well. Obviously Rafe was already in deep guano.


“I swore him to secrecy. Sorry, Jer, but if he can’t be loyal to me first, I won’t have him around, period.” I jerked back, taking Jerry by surprise. “You want me to go it alone? Fine.”


“Hardheaded, impossible woman!” Jerry ran his hand through his hair, his go-to move when he was exasperated. If a vampire could age, he’d be bald by now. “Keep Valdez. I should send you more guards.”


“No. Ray has another paranormal guard and I had Flo and Richard with me tonight. I had backup out the yin-yang. Not that I needed it. Ian acted the perfect gentleman.” I reached out to touch Jerry’s cheek. His beard was rough, typical for this late at night. I moved closer. “I love that you’re so concerned for me. Love that you want to see me safe. I’m not stupid, Jerry. I’m being very careful. Richard’s investigating Ian. Talk to him tomorrow night. Maybe you can help him.”


“Of course I can. I can help him send the worm to dust.” Jerry jerked me to him and kissed me breathless. “God help me, I don’t want to lose you, Gloriana. Why you persist in stepping into the lion’s mouth, I don’t know.” He looked like he wanted to shake me. Instead he just shook his head. “Have a care.” With that he turned on his heel and walked away.


“Well.” I sighed and headed into the hotel. The ride up in the elevator was long enough for me to snap to the fact that all Jerry had promised was to stake Ian. Great. I stepped into the suite, greeted by Valdez back in his usual Labradoodle form.

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