We’d only spoken one time since our blowout conversation. I wondered how disappointed she was that my former boyfriend’s father was now the Vice President, and could realistically be the President one day. Must be a bitter pill for her. If I’d sucked up what Lance did to me all those years ago, I guess she’d hoped we might reconcile in time. I believed it was the reason she resented Ethan so much. She knew her plans were blown and there wouldn’t be any fancy White House parties for her to attend. I’d been snatched away by a Brit who didn’t give a maiden queen’s first f**k—direct from his mouth—if Lance Oakley’s father was emperor of the motherfucking world, let alone a US political figure. Ethan had impregnated me, and married me; even my mother could see that her fantasy was nothing but dust in the wind. Those two were like gasoline and matches ready to combust when they were forced together anyway. So sad for me. She would be my child’s grandmother and couldn’t stand the sight of my husband.

My phone chirped. Finally, I thought as I dug it out of my purse. Unknown number? Baby I’m so sorry missed ur appt. Long story. w/o my mobile atm. This is Sarah Hasting’s mobile I’m using. Where r u now? xoE

Sarah Hasting’s? I knew exactly who she was. And thought it very strange that Ethan was with her when he should have been with me. I remembered how upsetting her presence had been for him at the wedding, thus my concern about her trying to dig her claws into him to soothe her grief. I respected the military loyalty, but it wasn’t fair for Ethan to suffer more because of her loss. If she was guilting him into talking about her husband I would have to set the woman straight. I felt myself bristle as I replied to his text, but remembered that it wasn’t Ethan’s phone that would receive my message, so I kept it neutral. But I made sure to add Sarah’s number into my contacts, before I answered him. It’s fine. I’m at Harrod’s xmas shopping. Len is here w/ me. –B

He answered me right away. On my way to find you now. Meet at Sea Grill? E

Well, if you say so, Mr. Blackstone, I thought, as I replied with an abrupt: ok. I tried to temper my irritation but something just felt off to me, and once again, my insecurities rushed to the surface to fill me with doubt.

I paid for my purchases and handed the loot over to Len who would get it all home for me. Then I arranged for gift wrap and delivery of my mother and Frank’s gifts with the concierge, and headed down to the Sea Grill to wait for Ethan.

I sipped my cranberry tea in the restaurant and ruminated about my weird day. Remembering the card Lance had pressed upon me; I pulled it out and studied it. Cell phone and email on the front, along with his name and US Army contact info. I turned it over and saw a handwritten message I hadn’t noticed before. Please let me make it right, Brynne.

I looked up and saw Ethan had arrived and was making his way over to my table, a large bouquet of lavender flowers in his hand. Shoving Lance’s card away quickly, I wondered just how guilty my husband was feeling, deciding he needed to bring flowers as a peace offering.

I should appreciate his gesture, I scolded myself.

Except I didn’t.

“SO what happened to you?” she asked, her eyes giving nothing away as to the nature of her true feelings. The flowers were accepted and sniffed appreciatively, but we were in public and Brynne was reserved. Maybe she really felt like bashing the whole lot over my head. You f**ked up. All I could do was hope she’d forgive me for my massive cock-up.

“I left the flat this morning sans my mobile. Sorry ’bout that.”

“That is not like you, Ethan.” She didn’t look up from her menu when she spoke. Yeah…you’re in the shithouse.

“No, it isn’t. I’m afraid I was distracted when I left.”

“And why was that?” She turned her menu over, studying it as if it were a rare book in the British Library Collection.

I desperately wished I’d had a chance for a smoke before racing over here. “Well, I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure I would be accepted”—she set down her menu and finally looked up at me—“but I had my first consultation with a Dr. Wilson at the Combat Stress Centre this morning.” Brown eyes stared at me from across the table. “Right, well…the centre is all the way out in Surrey, and I was leaving the offices to come meet you for Dr. B’s appointment, and ran into Sarah. She uses the CSC as well. I was hideously late by that point, and had no way to reach you, so I borrowed Sarah’s mobile—”

“—You found someone?” she interrupted, her face now full of the spark and fire I loved to see. I felt instantly better.

I nodded. “I did, baby. I’m giving Dr. Wilson a crack at me.”

She reached her hand across the table. “I’m so glad. So glad to hear you telling me this, Ethan. It’s the best news I’ve heard all day,” she said, pulling my hand up to her cheek.

I sensed something more than my tardiness was worrying my girl. “Why? Did everything go all right at Dr. B’s? Anything I need to know, Brynne?”

She pursed her lips and slowly rocked her head from side to side. “Nothing to report from Dr. B. Twenty-nine-week-old, acorn-squash baby, growing steady. All systems still a go.” She gave me a slow wink.

That’s my sexy girl. “So, you’re saying Dr. B is still my best mate?” She laughed at me silently, loving to tease me about cutting me off. It was funny—and it wasn’t. We’d just have to be more creative when the time came to drop the sex. I could stand it if I had her close by me, to touch, and to smell. Intimacy was so much more than just gettin’ off. I’d learned this lesson well in the short time since I’d found my Brynne.

“Yes, he’s still your friend. But, I want to know about your visit to the Combat Stress Centre.” She smiled at me, completely back to her bright happy self. “Tell me about Dr. Wilson. I want to know everything.”

How can I tell you everything, my beautiful darling? How? How can I ever do that to you?

I wished I could tell her everything, but I doubted I would ever be able to.

CHAPTER 14

24th December

London

“SHE’S beautiful, she’s smart, she’s sexy as hell, and she’s brilliant with the nosh.” I came up behind her and plastered myself against her body as she worked at the countertop from the kitchen. “Treats everywhere,” I said, snagging a sugar biscuit in the shape of a bird and popping it in my mouth. “Sweets, and…you.” I grabbed a handful of her arse and gave a squeeze as the buttery confection melted away in my mouth.