“Talk about boo, where did you get those shoes?”

And now my oversized, clunky, unfashionable boots, the one article of clothing that I’d managed to retain, were being called boo. It was beyond all tolerance.

“I am in hell.”

The girl who’d asked me about my boots tilted her head to the side. “Is that in the mall?”

By lunchtime, I’d given up on the idea of homicide. I’d moved on to genocide. I would personally rid the school—nay, the world—of cheerleaders.

“Toby, sit with us.”

“Look, there she is!”

“Her? They picked her?”

“Toby Klein? Who’s Toby Klein?”

“I hear she’s related to Calvin.”

“Well, I heard that at her last school, she was like megapopular, but then her boyfriend died, and she swore off popularity forever, but the God Squad, they know these things, and…”

It was almost more than I could take. How anyone could think I was related to Calvin Klein was completely beyond me.

“I have died and gone to heaven.”

This voice I recognized, and I turned my mutinous glare on Noah. “Don’t start,” I said, turning to face him and inadvertently giving him a good look at my oh-so-prissy ensemble.

Noah’s mouth dropped open. “My sister’s a girl,” he whispered with faux shock.

“Noah…”

He recovered quickly. “And not only a girl, but a popular girl.” The smile was back with a vengeance.

“I swear, Noah, one more word, and I’ll…”

I cut off my threat when I overheard someone else I’d never met inviting me to sit at their lunch table.

A loopy expression spread across Noah’s face. “All hail Toby, queen of the cafeteria!”

I grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back.

“You do not want to mess with me right now,” I said in a low voice.

“Point taken,” he replied with a grimace, and then, despite the hold I had him in, he grinned again. “You’re a cheerleader,” he said, deliriously happy. “You can have cheerleader slumber parties. You guys can have naked pillow fights in our living room, and…”

The rest of the school might have done an instant one-eighty in their opinions of me, but Noah never changed. I didn’t know whether to be comforted or pissed. I let go of his arm. “Get lost,” I told him, pushing down the urge to ruffle his hair. Once an older sister, always an older sister.

“She told me to get lost,” Noah said, letting his eyes get big. “Toby Klein told me to get lost! She spoke to me! She…”

I rolled my eyes and shoved him away. Once a little brother, always a little brother. He ambled over to his own table, a god among hopeless freshman boys. I watched him, and when Hayley Hoffman sauntered up to me, I devoutly wished I could change places with Noah. Goofy freshman boys versus evil junior-varsity cheerleaders? I’d take the boys any day.

“You may have everyone else fooled with your little act, but you can’t fool me,” Hayley hissed, dispelling any fear I might have had that she, like everyone else, would be wowed by my newly awesome status. “You aren’t from Europe!”

I rolled my eyes so far back in my head that I could practically see my own brain cells and didn’t bother to answer Hayley, whose you-are-beneath-me tone hadn’t undergone any alterations in the past twenty-four hours.

“In fact,” she continued, “you haven’t changed at all. Different clothes, same skanky little reject who likes to pretend she’s better than the rest of us.”

I forced myself to unroll my eyes and look back at Hayley. “But I am better than you,” I said evenly. “Or didn’t you get that memo?”

She tossed her hair over her shoulder, and I elaborated in terms she would understand. “Me God Squad, you lame.”

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I enjoyed flinging it in her face. It was almost even worth admitting the fact that I was (technically) a cheerleader.

“I don’t know what’s going on with the varsity squad,” Hayley said, “but believe me when I say I’m going to find out, and when I do, everyone will realize that you’re still exactly what you’ve always been: nothing.”

“Toby!” Lucy appeared out of nowhere and bounded over to where I stood. “We’ve been looking all over for you. Our table’s over there. I just know you’ll love it.” She flung an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t you just adore Toby?” she asked my evil companion.

Hayley forced a smile onto her face. “Who doesn’t?” she said. I for one knew the answer to that question. In fact, it was probably a pretty long list, but Hayley, Mr. Corkin, and a linebacker I’d kicked in the crotch last semester were probably all up there at the top.

“Come on, Toby,” Lucy said again. “This is going to be so much fun!” And then she shrieked, high-pitched, girly shrieking that made me want to gore out my eardrums with a dull cafeteria knife.

“Bye, Hallie,” Lucy called over her shoulder as she dragged me off. Hayley stared after us, smoke coming out of her ears and a giant sign saying dismissed flashing above her head.

I bit back a grin. “Her name’s Hayley,” I told Lucy under my breath.

The perky weapons guru nodded. “I know,” she said, her voice never losing its cheerfulness.

She’d called Hayley the wrong name on purpose, just to get under her skin. Was it wrong that I found that kind of mind game suddenly endearing?

“Situation averted?” Brooke arched a single eyebrow at me with the question.

Lucy nodded. “Totally.”

Brooke looked at me and then looked at an empty seat at their table. I could almost imagine the chair the way it would have appeared in a Hollywood movie: shining and bursting with light, the equivalent of a social throne. In the movie, there’d probably be some sort of majestic music playing in the background.

The thought of it all made me sick. I refused to be that girl. You know the one—the dorky girl with glasses who’s secretly beautiful and gets adopted by the popular people and turned into a shiny, sparkly person just like they are. Excuse me while I hurl.

So when I reluctantly took my seat, I stared at my shoes, reminding myself that this was who I was. I wasn’t glittery tube tops. I was Salvation Army combat boots, and I liked it that way.

“Chip, this is Toby. Toby, this is Chip.”

I didn’t even look up to see who had made the introduction. I knew who Chip was. He was a rich-boy football player who was also our student body president (to Lucy’s vice president, if that tells you anything). He was the guy in the movie who would fall for the newly It-ed It Girl.

“Heya, Chip,” I said, slouching down in my chair.

Brooke kicked my shin hard under the table.

“Do you want to ruin everything?” her voice asked in my ear.

I noticed immediately that her lips hadn’t visibly moved and that no one else had heard her.

“Earpiece.” Her in-my-ears voice answered the unasked question. “It’s in your hair ribbon. I have the microphone in my tongue ring.”

The fact that she had a tongue ring took me by surprise. She struck me as more of the belly-button type.

“Look, I’m turning this thing off so I can eat, but for the love of Gucci, flirt with Chip. You have to be above suspicion, and that means you have to be just like the rest of us. Or do you want to blow our whole operation and compromise the safety of the free world?”

That seemed a little melodramatic to me, but all things said and done, I was still dealing with cheerleaders here, so I figured I’d probably need to get used to the drama.

“Toby totally has a thing for jocks.” Chloe, shooting me the evil eye, flirted with Chip on my behalf.

Yeah, I thought. I have a thing for kicking them where it hurts.

“Does she now?” Another male slid into the seat next to me. I didn’t recognize his voice, but something about his presence felt familiar.

“Oh, you know me,” I said, prompted by another under-the-table shin kick.

“No,” the boy said blandly. “I don’t. Should I?”