Unknown number: I know you're working, and that's fine. But just FYI—I'm up. You know, in case you're not tired and feel like hanging out . . .

Unknown number: Or not . . .

Unknown number: I mean, you're welcome to come over, regardless of time.

Unknown number: Fuck, I'm spamming your inbox. Either way. You don't have to, but the invite is there.

Unknown number: Shit. This is Logan.

Unknown number: Fuck, ignore all my previous messages. I'm going to sleep.

Unknown number: I lied. I'm wide awake. Offer stands

Unknown number: Did I say it was Logan?

I couldn't help the grin that took over my face. He answered first ring. "I know what you're thinking. Maybe a fifteen-year-old girl had stolen my phone and was texting those things to you. I'd love to say it's true, but I'd be lying. Please don't think I'm crazy. I mean I am. Over you. Shit. I just really want to see you. Bad. Wait. Do I sound like Nicholas Sparks?"

My laugh interrupted his rambling. "Logan, stop. Let me just call E and tell him I won't be home ton—"

"Wait." It was his turn to interrupt. "I just invited you to come over." His tone switched to amusement. Cocky, even. "I didn't say anything about spending the night. It's a little presumptuous of you, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I teased back. "Plus, I've kind of triple booked with my other boyfriends. They might get upset."

"Shut up, don't even joke about that," he said playfully, then, in a more serious tone, "Call me when you're nearly here. I'll wait out the front. Don't get out of your car unless I'm there, okay?"

I agreed.

Amanda: I'm going to a late-night study session at one of the dorms. I'll probably just crash there.

Ethan: Is your phone charged? You got mace? Is the building secure? Have you got gas?

Amanda: Yes, Dad. I'll be fine. I love you.

Ethan: Call me in the morning.

Ethan: Please.

Ethan: You know I worry about you.

A knot formed in the pit of my stomach. I hated lying to him. I hated the sneaking around. I stared at my phone, deciding whether or not to call Logan and cancel. It chimed and vibrated in my hand.

Logan: I'm out the front waiting. Can't wait to see you.

***

We walked up the five flights of stairs hand in hand, but we didn't speak. Not until we were in his apartment. He closed the door behind us, and checked the four locks at least three times. Then we just stared at each other, awkwardly. Kind of like the first time you're alone with a boy and you want to do so many things at once, but the idea of it makes you hold back, and you just stand there and do nothing.

"So." That was him.

This was me. "So."

Smooth, right?

He closed the space between us and loosely linked our fingers together. "How was work?" There was a slight mocking in his tone, as if the question had been asked a thousand times in the past, or a thousand times in our future. My chest tightened at the thought. This could be our future.

I tried to hide my smile. His teeth clamped around his bottom lip, doing the same. There was a certain energy around us: excited, anxious, nervous, terrifying. He lifted our hands and placed my palm flat against his heart. It thumped so hard, so fast against my skin. He sighed. "I know I saw you this morning, but shit, I miss you so damn much."

My eyes drifted closed at the same time as his lips found mine. I sucked in a quick breath on contact, let my body relax, and let it out in a moan into his mouth.

I felt myself falling. Again.

He released his hold on my hands and placed one on the small of my back, the other in my hair. He deepened the kiss. His tongue brushed against my lips, my teeth, and then my mouth. I gripped onto his shirt. I needed to hold onto something so it would hurt less when my feet landed back on earth.

He pushed me backwards until my back hit the door. He never pulled away from the kiss. Not once. My hands went under his shirt. I needed to feel him. My nails dug in when his mouth moved to my neck, kissing and biting gently. I inhaled deeply, needing the air in my lungs as much as I needed him.

His hand went to my thighs, bringing my legs up and around his waist while he pinned me to the wall. I didn't stop him. I didn't mind. Not at all. The need in my body caused a buzzing in my brain.

He cupped a breast with one hand and my ass with the other. A deep guttural moan escaped him, right before his mouth met mine again. These kisses, they were different. They weren't fueled by lust. They weren't demanding. It was passionate, but slow. So slow. As if he were taking me in for the first time. Treasuring me.

Suddenly, he pulled his face away and cursed under his breath. I slowly dropped my legs to the floor while he took a step back and away from me.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "That's not why I asked you over. I lost control. I'm sorry." He shook out his hand.

"Hey." I cooed. "I didn't exactly try to stop you." I placed me hand on his face but he pulled away.

"I know. It's just—" He blew out a breath. "I just don't want you to think that that's all I want, you know? That's not—I mean—fuck." His eyes shifted, glaring at his shaking hand. He covered it with the other. Agony consumed his features while his chest heaved.

"Logan." I took his trembling hand between both of mine and kissed it a few times. It seemed to help when I'd done it in the past.

His breath becomes steady, and after a few seconds, his hand settled. "What's going on?"