"Oh and the scholarship!" he laughs again—that same bitter laugh. "You don't think I know your dad's floating me? No architect firm wanted to support me. It's his money! I'm not fucking stupid, Lucy." He's in my face now, pointing his finger down at me. His brows are furrowed and his nostrils flare. He's so mad, but he's so wrong. "How the fuck do you think that's supposed to make me feel? I can't fail. I can't drop the ball. I'll disappoint everyone. And all you guys do is push push push. I'm on the fucking edge here, Lucy! How much more can you push?"

I suck in a breath, my voice so quiet compared to his shouts. "I didn't know that I was pushing you, I just thought I was encourag—"

His eyes roll, cutting me off. "Of course not, Luce!" he yells again, louder than ever.

People gasp.

I flinch.

"You don't get it! You don't understand! Because everything's been handed to you. You've been raised with a silver spoon in your mouth and you've never had to worry about a goddamn thing in your entire fucking life!"

And there it is.

The moment of destruction.

My body shakes. Not from the sob. Or the adrenalin. But from the hurt.

My eyes shut.

I breathe in. Out.

Once.

Twice.

It feels like eternity.

My hands flex, ball.

Flex.

Ball.

"Lucy, honey," Heathers coos. And I don't need to see her to know she's crying.

Breathe.

Shut. It. Out.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Once.

Twice.

My eyes snap open, fixed on Cam.

All blood has drained from his face.

His shoulders sag.

His eyes are sympathetic.

"Lucy?" Mark sighs.

I turn to him and fake the perfected smile I mastered when I was fifteen.

"I'm fine," I tell him.

A single fine. A single lie.

"I'll see you later."

And then I walk away.

Away from my forever.

-CAMERON-

Her eyes snap open, and when they do, I die.

What the fuck did I just do?

It's been years. Five, to be exact—since I saw that look in her eyes.

The same look she had when I saw her in the laundry room at her house after her mom's funeral. It was the calm before the storm—only this time, there was no storm. No breaking of the dam. Back then, I wanted to be the reason for that calm look in her eyes. And now I am—but it was the wrong kind.

I should have been the calm. Not the reason.

I slump back in my chair, wondering how the fuck I'm going to fix this.

"Her dad isn't paying for your scholarship," Mom says quietly. "The first year was genuine, Bradman gave you that scholarship fair and square. The year after, they wanted to pull it. It wasn't beneficial for them. Tom knew—he came to us—offered to pay for it." My gaze lifts, trying to focus on her. "I wouldn't accept it, Cameron. And I knew you wouldn't either. So I sold the house and went to Bradman, I asked him to say it came from them, because I knew you wouldn't accept it from me. They said they would do it if you worked there. I didn't know, Cam. I didn't know that it was going to be too much for you, and that you'd turn into this." She sniffs and wipes her tears, then turns to Mark. "I'm going to try to catch Lucy, she needs a mother right now."

There's a stabbing pain. Right in my heart. I want it to hurt—more than it does. I deserve to feel the pain.

Mark—he just shakes his head, a look of disgust on his face. "When did you become an asshole?"

And then he gets up, and he leaves.

Everyone leaves.

A familiar figure holding a tray comes into my vision. She starts clearing the table. I slouch in my chair, kick my legs out, and tilt my head back, eyeing the ceiling. "I fucked up, Amanda."

She doesn't respond, just continues clearing the table.

I sit up now, trying to compose myself. "I've lost her and I don't think I'll ever get her back."

She freezes mid movement, and then faces me, her eyes filled with tears. "At least you know why, Cameron. I didn't even get that."

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

-CAMERON-

After everyone left I sat at the bar and drank until I could no longer feel my face. Amanda ignored me the entire time. She hates me too.

I wanted to call Lucy but I had no phone. And I doubt she'd answer.

I think, Ethan, Amanda's brother, who was there watching over her, gave me a ride home. I say I think, because I don't really remember.

I ended up at her room, knocking louder than I should. Rose answered, but she told me she hadn't been home all night.

Now, I'm sitting at my cubicle at the firm with my head on the desk and my arms covering it, trying to drown in my own self-pity and sorrow.

"Hey C-Money."

I grunt in response.

"I drove your car back, how you feelin'?"

My head's pounding. My body aches. My heart is dead. I try to reply, but all I can do is moan.

"Heads up," she says.

But I'm slow to react, and then Lucy's voice fills my ears. "Cameron."

My head lifts. My eyes snap to her. And all of a sudden I'm alert. I know my heart’s alive again because it's hammering so hard, so fast. "Babe," I croak.

She smiles. That same fake fucking smile from last night. And from the days after her mom died.

Roxy shifts from her leaning position on my desk. "I'm gonna go," she says slowly.