Only now do I understand what she's saying. It never even occurred to me. Being with Cameron—in his bed—it's not physical, or sexual. "I understand," I tell her. "But you don't have to worry, it's not like that. Cameron—he's my strength. And right now, I don't know that I have any left."

***

"Hey," he drops the wrench onto the workbench and walks over to me. "Did you sleep alright?" I nod, feeling a little shy. He leans his face in closer, his lips already puckered. And my mind kicks into over drive. Mouth kiss? Cheek kiss? What is this kiss? I panic, duck my head and swiftly move around him.

Changing the subject to hide my embarrassment, I ask, "What are you doing in here?"

He turns to me with hurt clear in his eyes and my heart drops. I step forward and grab his hand—it's as much as I can offer right now.

Seconds pass while we stare down at our joined hands, then he squeezes it once, causing me to lift my gaze and look up at him. A perfect smile spreads on his face, and I've never wanted to kiss him more. So I do, I get up on my toes and I kiss him. It's quick, because I'm not sure that I'm ready for more. But when I pull away, I know that it's enough. Not just for me, but for him too.

"I was putting pegs on my bike," he says, his smile getting wider.

"Pegs?"

He leads me—with our hands still linked—over to his bike and sets his foot on a piece of round metal sticking out of the center of the back wheel. "Pegs; you stand on them while I ride, so you don't have to walk." He releases my hand, pulls my backpack off my shoulder, and hangs it off the handlebar. "I figure it's the best way we can get around for the next few days. Unless you feel like doing some grand theft auto and driving illegally again?" He jerks his head toward his mom's car.

After the night I had last night, I didn't think it was possible, but somehow, he makes me laugh—the sound surprising to my own ears.

***

I spend the entire day worrying about the boys. By the time the day's over, I'm a mess. "I looked for you at lunch," he states with a grin. He pulls his bike off the rack where I've been waiting for him.

"I had to study," I lie. I wasn't studying; I was in the library reading—getting lost in another world that's not my reality. "I think I should go home, Cam."

His smile fades. "Why?"

"It just doesn't seem right that I'm with you when they need me."

"But—" He lets out a sigh and nods his head. "If that's what you want, Luce. Okay. But can I at least take you somewhere first?"

"Where?"

He takes the backpack off my shoulder and hangs it off the handlebar again. "It's a surprise."

My eyes narrow. "Surprise?"

He sits on his bike and throws a hand out to me. "You trust me, right?"

"Yes," I reply without hesitation.

***

He takes me to the river that runs behind the townhouses where he lives and starts taking off his shoes.

I look from him, to the water and back again. "No."

"No?" His eyebrows rise. "You said you trusted me."

"I know, and I do trust you, but when you said it was a surprise I thought you meant 'Here, Luce. I got you a unicorn.' not 'Here, Luce, jump in the river.'"

His head throws back in laughter. "It's not that bad." He takes my hand with one of his, the other flipping his cap backwards. "Believe me. You need this."

"I need this?"

He drops my hand and lets out a frustrated breath. Tilting his head to the side, he eyes me with a bored expression.

"Fine," I mutter, kicking off my shoes.

*

We wade out until the water reaches our shoulders—or mine at least. He bends his knees so that we're level.

"What now?"

"Now... you scream."

"What?" I laugh. He's still doing it—making me laugh.

He steps forward until we're face-to-face, as close as we can be without kissing. I let out a gurgle sound from deep in my throat when I see his hand begin to rise.

He's trying to cop a feel!

He pauses mid-movement and eyes me warily. "You trust me, remember?"

I nod, but stay frozen.

His palm flattens against my chest, where I'm sure he can feel the hammering of my heart. "Lucy," he whispers, his eyes boring into mine. "I want you to take everything you feel in here..." His hand moves lower, past my breasts and onto my stomach, where it settles. "And everything in here..." He reaches up and holds the side of my head. "And everything in here." My eyes drift shut from his touch. Then I feel his soft lips on mine, kissing me once before pulling back. "I want you to take all those feelings, the build up of all the stress, the worry... take it all... dip your head under the water... and scream." My eyes snap open. I search his face for an answer to a question that doesn't exist.

Inhaling a shaky breath, I let his words sink in. Along with every single emotion I've been trying to push down. The worry. The guilt. The stress. The pressure. And most of all, the grief. My eyes fill with tears and I try to breathe through the giant knot in my throat. He places both his hands on the side of my face and kisses me again. "Let it go, Luce. All of it."

I feel the water fill my nose first, then my ears, and then my mouth when I open it to scream. When I come up for air, my chest heaves with the exertion of my much-needed breaths. I open my eyes to see him watching me with his lips pressed so tight they've lost color. I suck in another shaky breath, dip my head under the water... and I do it all over again. And again. And again.