“You’re making her happy by marrying me.”

“Are you going to make me poke you again?”

“Poking is what made me so tired.”

“Adam. Come on!” He flipped onto his back in exasperation and threw back the covers. Just for the record, even after four rounds and with a sore cha-cha, the site of Adam na**d was stirring. I stared lecherously at his bare ass as he headed for the bathroom.

“See something you like, Adler?” he called out. How did he always know?

I made the bed and realized that I didn’t have any clean panties. This was getting ridiculous. We were spending all of our time together. I needed at least a drawer. He came back in a few minutes with a towel wrapped around his waist and paused to watch me rearrange his things to give myself drawer space. I think the fact that I was still na**d made it more interesting for him.

“See something you like, Roth?”

“As a matter of fact … What time are they getting here?”

“In about fifteen minutes, so take down your tent,” I said glancing down it his towel. “I thought you were tired anyway.”

“I’m getting a second wind. Just so you know, after they go, I think I’m going to want to hit that again.”

“I hope that wasn’t foreplay,” I said dryly. “As you can see, I’m giving myself a drawer.”

“Why don’t you just move in?”

That made me pause. He had a point. Why didn’t I just move in? And why did that make me anxious? And why was it that every time I felt anxious lately I got horny? And why was I standing here asking myself all these questions when I could be having sex?

“Okay,” I said resolutely. “I’ll move in. Here. With you.”

“Good idea. I’m glad you suggested it,” he said with a grin.

“Maybe we do have time for a quickie.” I said, openly checking him out.

“I don’t think so.” He looked at me suspiciously. “Are you hormonal or something?”

“You just said you wanted to hit it again.”

“I’m a guy and you’re na**d.”

“I’ve been feeling really amorous lately.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“Like I said last night, I think it’s how I react to anxiety about the wedding.”

“Well, at this rate I’m not going to need to hit the gym until after we get married.”

“Speaking of the gym, I had better hit the shower.” As I headed off toward the bathroom, I saw him smile. “What?”

“You’re actually walking a little funny,” he said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes and hobbled out.

I took a quick shower and threw on my clothes, going commando rather than putting on yesterday’s panties. I had just left the bathroom when I heard the door buzzer ring and I went over with Adam to greet his mom and sister. He swung the door open and they came in with big smiles. I smiled back, and for that one second, I felt great. And then I looked up.

Standing in the doorway with an eyebrow cocked at a disapproving angle was the woman who gave birth to me – Judith Steinberg – the Ice Queen.

“Oh. My. God,” was all I could manage.

“An e-mail message?! I find out you’re getting married in an e-mail?”

“We don’t like each other,” I reminded her.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m your mother. I was in labor for twenty-three hours with you.”

“Yeah, but you refused to leave the courtroom for twenty-two of them. You said you wouldn’t push until the jury came in.”

“That didn’t make it less painful. And this is the thanks I get. I give you life and pay for a great education and I find out you’re getting married in an e-mail.”

“Nice to see you too.”

“You didn’t even send it!”

“Yeah, who told you?”

“I did dear,” Mrs. Roth smiled benevolently. “Two young Jewish people are getting married. It’s important that the mothers be involved. It’s cultural.”

“I’m just here so my Mom can remind me that my younger brother is getting married and I’m not even dating anyone seriously,” Abby offered.

Finally, Adam, who had been silent up until that point, spoke up. “There’s too much estrogen in this room for me. I’m going to lay down.”

“You do look tired, honey,” Mrs. Roth said, sounding concerned. “Are pre-wedding jitters keeping you awake?” She looked confused when he just cracked up laughing and headed for the bedroom.

“You flew up here last night?” I asked, turning to my mother. “Where are you staying?”

“I’ll stay at your place.”

“I’m moving! Here! Tonight!” Screw the drawer. You want to talk about anxiety, try living with my mother. Adam might die of exhaustion from all the sex I would need to deal with that.

“Fine, more room for me. I’ll take over the rent if necessary.”

“Where’s Dad? Is he coming too?”

“He’s still in Florida. By the way, we’re getting a divorce. So, let’s talk caterers.” She sat down calmly.

“Oh Judith, I’m so sorry,” Deb Roth said, coming to sit next to my mother and obviously prepared to offer comfort. She must not know my mother very well.

“About what? The divorce? Oh it’s no big deal. When Ira and I were both full-time litigators we got along. Retired, we don’t get along. Who’s doing the ceremony, Rabbi Stein?”

“We haven’t discussed it,” I said numbly.

“Well, of course it will be Rabbi Stein,” Mrs. Roth replied.

“Mom, don’t you think Adam and Lily …” Abby spoke up.

“He’s known them since they were babies, honey! Nomi Stein would be crushed if her husband didn’t marry them.” I started to sweat.

“What month are we talking?” my mother went on. She was on a roll.

“How about June?” Deb suggested.

“June works for me,” the Ice Queen agreed.

“Shouldn’t you ask Adam and Lily what works for them?” Abby tried again.

“Abby darling, we don’t want to put this off, but don’t forget, no weddings between Passover and Shavuot,” her mother answered. I started to itch. It might have been hives.

“They’ll have to meet with him to go over all the pre-marriage details,” Judith went on.

“What details?” I asked. All I knew about the process was what I had learned years ago in Hebrew school, and I didn’t remember most of it.

“The expectations and obligations of marriage,” Deb informed me.

“It will all be in the marriage contract too, but at a minimum, Adam’s supposed to feed you, clothe you and take care of your sexual needs,” Abby reminded me.

“Sounds like a good deal,” I muttered.

“We’ll make sure you get a beautiful ketubah,” Mrs. Roth beamed, referring to the actual contract we would sign at the wedding. There were so many designs. It would be displayed in our home for the rest of our lives. I had to find the perfect one! No pressure! I felt like I might need a paper bag to breathe into.

This conversation between my mother and Adam’s mother continued for what felt like years, as they worked out the details of our wedding. I hoped they remembered to invite us. Finally, Abby gestured for me to join her and the two of us ducked into the kitchen together.

“Hey, are you okay? You look kind of sick,” she asked kindly.

“My mother has that effect on me. She stresses me out.”

“Yeah, mine too. I love her with all my heart, but she drives me crazy sometimes. Remember that this day is for you and Adam, not anybody else.”

“That’s what my friends told me too. It’s hard, though, because I know how much it means to your mom and I really want to make her happy. I won’t bother with trying to please my mother. She’ll never be happy with anything I do.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re so anxious. You’re too worried about failing to please other people.” Abby was a smart cookie.

“You’re right. I need to stand up for myself. I can do it. I have support from my friends, and Adam comforts me when I get too overwhelmed.”

She snorted. “Sorry, it’s just so weird. He’s my little brother, and he’s Adam, you know?”

“Yeah, it’s even weird for me sometimes because he’s Adam, and I’m me, and we battled each other all through school.”

“We all knew that he had a crush on you, though, and we’re all glad that you’re going to be our sister.” She gave me a warm look and I became emotional.

“I’m glad, too,” I said, my voice cracking. Abby reached out and hugged me, and I hugged her back tightly.

“You and I are close in age, and we’re both lawyers,” she said, letting me go after a few seconds. “We should hang out more. Right now we should get back in there, though, before they choose your kids’ colleges.”

“I agree. I need to put my foot down, or they’ll roll right over me.” I marched back into the living room and faced the mothers.

“This is my wedding, and this is what I want,” I announced, squaring my shoulders. “First, it will be a traditional Jewish wedding, with Rabbi Stein, who has known us since we were kids. Secondly, it will be whenever and wherever we decide, but you can give us your input. Third, you can handle the details if you want, but I get final approval of everything.”

“Okay,” my mother replied.

“Okay?” I asked, dubiously.

“Okay,” she repeated.

“Okay!” I smiled confidently. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m kind of tired too.”

“Of course, dear,” Mrs. Roth said sweetly. “Don’t worry about anything. We’ll get on this, and we’ll make sure that you approve of everything. It is your wedding after all.”

I wasn’t sure how I had won that round so easily, but I wasn’t going to question it. Of course, it dawned on me later, that what I had asked for, was what they wanted too, but it didn’t matter, as long as Adam and I were happy. The fact that it would also make them happy, was just a nice perk.

Chapter Seven

My hives went away at the same time my mother did. Coincidence? I think not. I went into the bedroom where Adam was curled up on his side asleep, hugging my pillow. He looked so sweet and innocent. Looks could be so deceiving.

I walked quietly over to the bed and sat down slowly so as not to disturb him. I was planning to read, but I couldn’t help just watching him like that for a few minutes and thinking about how much he meant to me. A little curl had fallen onto his forehead and I reached out, ever so gently, to brush it back. Then he spoke up and nearly gave me a stroke.

“Why are you watching me sleep?” I jumped and yanked my hand back with a yelp. What, did he have freaking ESP?

“Because I love you, you schmuck. How did you know with your eyes closed?”

“I’m aware of everything you do in bed,” he answered, opening his eyes and smiling at me. “Did they go home?”

“Yeah, but not before pushing me to the edge of a nervous breakdown. I stood up to them, and held my ground, but I think I need sex again.”

“Again? Are you trying to cripple me? At this rate they’re going to have to carry me up the aisle.”

“It comforts and calms me, even when we’re wild. Orgasm is a great physical release of tension and I like that you’re bigger and stronger than me. It’s probably a psychological thing or maybe some primal instinct. Who knows? Is it a problem?”

“Hell no, believe me, Lilith, I’m not complaining, but I don’t like seeing you all stressed out. If you want me to tell everybody to just leave us alone…”

“No, Adam. I’m going to make sure that we have exactly the day we want, if it kills me, but I do still want them to be involved. Are you saying you’ve reached your comfort limit for now though?” I traced a finger up along his bicep.

“Are you kidding me? Baby, we haven’t come close to my limit.” And with that, he gave me a sexy smile, rolled me onto my back, and comforted me again. Twice.

We eventually went over to my place, where my mother had arrived, and upon seeing my building, had immediately begun trying to find somewhere else to stay. Luckily, that meant she was too occupied pushing buttons on her phone to judge and bitch the whole time we were there.

Adam and I gathered all of his stuff, and a whole bunch of mine, and making several trips, managed to semi-move me in with him. I would have to decide what to do with all of my furniture. I would also have to find a corner to write in at his place. I hadn’t worked on my current novel in a couple of weeks. At least I finally had clean undies again.

We didn’t feel up to going out that night, so we just picked up takeout on the way home and decided to watch a movie. We were just deciding which one, when I got a call from my friend Bruce.

“Jason has to pull a double shift at the hospital tonight. Entertain me.”

“Entertain you how?” I asked, mouthing “Bruce” to Adam, who nodded with understanding.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“We were just going to watch a movie.”

“Don’t start without me. I’ll be right there.” He clicked off.

“Wait! Bruce! I’m at Adam’s!” But it was too late. I tried calling him back but it went straight to voicemail. “Great, Bruce is headed to my place for entertainment.”