J is for Judgment Page 34


“So when’s all this happening?”

“I have no idea. They haven’t set the date. He just asked her tonight. She hasn’t agreed to it yet.”

“The way you were talking, I assumed she had.”

“Well, no, but she’s hardly going to turn down a gentleman of his caliber.”

I gave his hand a smack. “Honestly, Henry. You’re a bit of a snob.”

He smiled at me, blue-eyed, his brows lifting quizzically. “I’m a complete snob, not a ‘bit’ of one. Come on. I’ll walk you back.”

Once home, I took a handful of medication for my assorted cold symptoms, including a hit of Nyquil that guaranteed a good night’s sleep. At 6:00 I rolled out of bed groggily and pulled on my jogging clothes, filling out a mental checklist while I brushed my teeth. My chest was still congested, but my nose wasn’t running and my cough no longer sounded like my lungs were on the verge of flopping out. My skin color had lightened to the mild gold of apricots and I thought, in another day or so, might revert to my natural skin tone. Never have I so yearned for my former pale complexion.

I bundled up against the early morning chill, my gray sweats nearly the same color as the ocean. The beach sand was a chalky white, speckled with foam from the outgoing tide. Seagulls, gray and white, stood and stared at the water like a flock of yard ornaments. The sky at the horizon was a perfect blend of cream and silver, the mist blocking out all but the darkened outlines of the islands in the channel. This was hurricane season in the far reaches of the Pacific, but so far we hadn’t had a hint of tropical surf. The hush was profound, undercut only by the soft rustle of the waves. There was not another soul as far as I could see. The three-mile walk became a meditation, just me and my labored breathing, the feel of my leg muscles responding to the brisk pace. By the time I reached home, I was ready to face the day.

Through the front door, I caught the muffled sound of the telephone. I let myself into my apartment in haste. I caught it on the third ring, out of breath from the exertion. It was Mac. “What’s up? This is awfully early for you.” I buried my face in my T-shirt, suppressing a cough.

“We had a meeting last night. Gordon Titus has gotten wind of this Wendell Jaffe business and wants to meet with you.”

“With me?” I squeaked.

Mac laughed. “He doesn’t bite.”

“He doesn’t have to,” I said. “Titus can’t stand me, and the feeling is mutual. He treats me like a piece of—”

“Now, now,” he broke in.

“I was going to say dirt!”

“Well, that’s better.”

“Human out-your-butt-type dirt,” I amended.

“You better get yourself down here as soon as you can.”

I sat for a moment making faces at the phone, my usual terribly mature method of dealing with the world. I did not exactly rush out the door as advised. I stripped off my sweat suit and took a hot shower, washed my hair thoroughly, and then got dressed. I had a bite to eat while I scanned the paper for news of interest. I rinsed my dish and my spoon and then took out a small load of trash, which I dumped in the bin by the street. When I ran out of ways to avoid the inevitable, I grabbed my handbag, a steno pad, and my car keys and headed out the gate. This was making my stomach hurt.

The office really hadn’t changed much, though I noticed, for the first time, a certain shabbiness throughout. The wall-to-wall carpet was a quality synthetic, but the style had been chosen for its “wearability,” a term synonymous with mottled, stain-mimicking patterns guaranteed not to soil. The space itself seemed crowded by the warren of “action stations,” dozens of interlocking cubicles for examiners and underwriters. The perimeter was lined with glass-enclosed offices for the company executives. The walls needed fresh paint, and the trim was looking scuffed. Vera glanced up from her desk as I passed. From that angle I was the only witness to her facial antics, eyes crossed, tongue protruding slightly in comical disgust.

We met in Titus’s office. I hadn’t laid eyes on him since the day of our encounter. I had no idea what to expect, and I couldn’t quite decide what behavior to adopt. He simplified the matter by greeting me pleasantly, as if this were our first meeting and we’d never exchanged a cross word. It was a brilliant move really because it freed me of any necessity to defend or apologize, relieving him of the burden of cross-referencing our past relationship. After the first sixty seconds, I found I had disconnected. I realized the man had no power over me at this point. Debts on both sides were paid, and both of us had ended up with exactly what we wanted. He’d removed what he’d seen as “deadwood” from the company payroll. I’d reestablished myself in a work environment I preferred.

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