As we make the drive across town, Sadie’s words replay in my mind, the promise to be happy and live life. I know what that means, what makes me happy, but I want to be here for Sadie too and help her through what I know is going to be a hard time. Maybe, though, there’s a way to do both.

“I have a favor to ask you guys,” I say to Lila and Ethan before we climb out of the car to go inside the club.

“You can ask us anything,” Lila reminds me as she shuts off the headlights. “Well, within reason of our capabilities.”

I nervously explain my idea to them and then hold my breath as I wait for their answer. Is this a good idea? Is this really what I should do? I don’t know if it is or not, but I guess I’m doing it.

Ethan glances at Lila with his brow raised. “What do you think?”

She shrugs then smiles. “I think he deserves it.”

“All right, Ayden, you have yourself a deal,” Ethan tells me with a grin. “Man, I’m so jealous. I’ve always wanted to go on a tour.”

“Why didn’t you?” I ask as I reach for the door handle.

“Because he hates crowds,” Lila answers for him.

Ethan gives a shrug. “It’s true. I never could get past all those damn people crammed into a room, sweating all over each other.”

His statement does not surprise me, and honestly, I kind of understand where he’s coming from.

“Thank you for letting me do this,” I say, opening the door.

“You deserve it,” Lila replies as she collects her purse from the console. “Like I said, we’ll always be here to help you. Don’t ever forget that.”

I have a smile on my face as I get out of the car, practically running as I head to tell Lyric the news.

I TRY NOT TO POUT that Ayden missed the set, but I’m a tad bit sulky. I know he had a good reason for not showing up, though. That more than likely his sister was awake and the two of them are talking. I hope everything went okay. That Sadie’s doing okay. That Ayden’s doing okay with the guilt I know he feels over what happened to her.

I dig out my phone, deciding to text him.

Me: Hey! Just wanted to c how everything was going. I’m guessing that your sister was awake this time?

He doesn’t answer right away, so I put the phone into my pocket and head out of the backstage area and down to the floor. It’s Friday night and the place is crammed with rowdy drunk people, dancing around, throwing back shots, and ordering drinks at the bar. We were the only live band playing tonight, so my dad has cranked up the music.

“Are you sure you just don’t want to go home?” My dad shouts over the music as he struggles with whether or not to leave me out here alone. Ever since the thing with Ayden’s dad happened, my mom and dad have been overly protective of me. I was actually worried they were going to try to stop me from going on tour. While they do seem a little more hesitant than they did before, they haven’t tried to talk me out it. “Or I could stay out here with you and hang out?”

“I’m fine.” I wave him off. “Go back to your office. I’m probably going to head home soon.”

The bartender hands him a beer and my dad pops off the top. “Maybe you should come hang out with me.”

“Dad, you have a meeting with the new band filling in for us,” I remind him, dabbing my fingers under my eyes to fix my eyeliner that I know is smudged—it always is after I finish performing. “I probably shouldn’t be in there while you guys discuss business.”

“We could pretend you’re my secretary,” he suggests, checking the time on his watch.

“Dad, go, or you’re going to be late.” I shoo him toward the hallway. “I’ll head home as soon as mom gets back from work.” So I don’t have to be in the house alone.

While Ayden’s dad and many other members of the Soulless Mileas were arrested last week, I still feel unsettled, especially when I’m home alone. I went to a therapist the other day to talk, and I realized I might be more affected by what happened than I originally let on. The therapist told me we could have phone appointments while I’m on the road if I wanted to, and I agreed, just to make sure that the fear I feel will eventually fade and won’t take control of my life.

After I finally convince my dad back to go to his office, I chill out on the balcony near the dance floor, trying to decide whether I want to dance yet or wait until I hear back from Ayden before I really let loose. Because I fully plan on dancing. Need to for the sake of my sanity.