“This is amazing.” I said as I slurped up another spaghetti noodle. William laughed and used his thumb to wipe sauce from my bottom lip. He licked his finger sending that unmistakable feeling throughout my body.

“Eat” he smiled and I realized I had been staring at him longer than I intended. My phone rang and I reached for it.

“It’s Becka” I told William as I answered.

“My Aunt and I had a fight. I just…can’t go back there for a while.” The truth was I did not want to ever go back to that house. “Thanks Becka. I really appreciate it.” I hung up the phone and looked up to see William rinsing the plates in the sink.

“She said I could stay.” I did not want to leave. I wanted to stay here lost in this fantasy with William. With him, I felt like I had a purpose. I felt in control even when he left me completely powerless.

He grabbed my purse from the counter and opened the door. I walked through, hanging my head like a sulking child. If I was not with William, I wanted to be alone, wallowing in my sadness.

“You can call me if you need anything.” He reassured me but I did not feel any better. He opened the car door and waited for me to get in. I kissed him on his cheek, but I let my mouth linger, not wanting to pull back from him. He turned catching my lip in his. His touch made me forget about everything that was wrong in my life. I pushed against him, hungry for more. “We have to go.” He breathed heavily. It was taking all he had not kiss me again. I moved closer but decided against it. If I did not leave now I never would. “I will fix this.” He promised and I knew he meant it.

I nodded and got in my seat. We travelled in silence. The GPS spouted directions and soon we were a few houses away from Becka’s home. There were so many things I wanted to say to him but I could not form the words. “I’ll come for you as soon as I can.” I knew he was trying to comfort me but I could not ignore the sad underlying tone as he spoke.

“I know” I said quietly as I got out of the car, pulling my bag from the bag seat. I watched him drive away, walking slowly until his taillights disappeared down the road before ringing the doorbell.

“Emma!” Becka wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I barely knew her and the whole scene was too awkward.

“Hey” I said with a smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. She stepped inside and I followed, looking around at the elaborately decorated home. “Nice place”

“Thanks. My mom is really into flowers.” She replied, rolling her eyes. Right on cue her mother stepped around the corner holding a plate of cookies.

“Ohhh…” she laughed and waved off Becka’s expression. “How are you dear? Becka has told me all about your situation. I am so sorry.” She looked at me with that awful expression I had become accustom too.

“Thanks” I looked down at my feet, not wanting to meet her gaze.

“I baked you some comfort food.” She smiled holding out the plate of cookies.

“She doesn’t want to eat her feelings.” Becka replied sarcastically, grabbing my arm and pulling me up the stairs to her room. I smiled back at her mother, feeling sorry for Becka’s rude outburst.

I stood in the doorway of her bedroom. The walls painted a deep purple and heavy matching drapes lined the windows.

“You like?” she asked, twirling around.

“It’s nice. Very…gothic” I replied. I had never pegged Becka for having a darker side.

“It’s not gothic, it’s romantic.” She smiled. I did not get that vibe at all, but what did I know about romance. The closest I had come was being tied to William’s bed. I felt my cheeks turn pink at the thought. I turned my phone over in my hand. I had no missed calls or messages.

“It’s nice” I smiled and she beamed with pride.

“I got something to make you feel better.” She grinned, pulling a small tin out of the stand next to her bed.

“Oh, no” I recognized it from the school bathroom. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? My mom is oblivious. Besides, you need this after the day you have had.” She pulled out a joint and began to light it.

“What the hell.” I walked over and took the joint, drawing in hard and holding my breath.

“So, where have you been?” she asked, taking the joint carefully.

“What?” I breathed out, caught off guard by her question.

“Where have you been all day?” her tone hung heavy with concern not just general nosiness.

“I needed to get away. I could not sit still. I just…walked.” She nodded and I knew I did not need to elaborate further. Seeing Becka around school I never would have imagined us hanging out and actually getting along. I realized that it was probably my fault we did not become friends sooner. I kept to myself as much as possible, trying not to let anyone get close enough to me to hurt me. The saddest part is that I was actively hurting myself. I was completely self- destructive. I was not always this way. Before my parent’s had died I was happy.

“Where did you go?” she asked, touching my arm.

“Around town” I answered, taking the joint from her hand.

“No” she laughed, “Just now”

“Oh...I guess I was just thinking about all that has happened lately.” I replied.

“I know what will make you feel better. Cookies” She laughed, grabbing the joint and putting it out inside the tin. “Come on” she looped her arm inside mine and sat my phone down on the stand with her box.

“Wait…I need that” I said, reaching out my hand but she waved it away.

“What could possibly be more important than junk food?” she rolled her eyes and drug me down the steps to the kitchen.

Chapter Eighteen

I was relieved to find the kitchen empty. Becka’s mother had gone outside to work on her garden, leaving us free to rummage through the fridge for snacks. Becka handed me the plate of cookies and a few sodas. She grabbed a few more things and we made our way back upstairs to her bedroom.

“So, what really happened to your hand?” Becka asked as she took a long swig from her soda.

“It was an accident.” I replied dryly.

“Rumor around school was you got f**ked up on all kinds of drugs and tried to off yourself.” She explained as if talking about the weather. I rolled my eyes and nibbled on a cookie.

“The truth is much more boring.” I caught the light on my phone blinking out of the corner of my eye.

“It always is.” She laughed and I leaned over to slide my phone of the stand, and peeked at the screen. The I.D. on the message read ‘William the Conqueror’. I smiled, realizing he must have programmed that in while I was in the bathroom.

Do you have any idea what I want to do to you right now?

I could not keep my cheeks from burning red.

“What? Who is it?” Becka asked, grabbing for my phone. I held it back and pushed her hand away.

“No one, just an old friend from back home.” I lied. I typed back a quick reply then slid the phone into my pocket.

Who is this? It is so hard to keep my admirers straight.

My phone vibrated in my pocket but I ignored it, smiling to myself.

“Something is up with you.” Becka grinned, but I waved the way her accusation.

“Let’s watch a movie or something.” I said, eyeing up the flat screen at the foot of her bed. The television was enormous. The one in the living room of my house was much smaller and was not one of the new models that could be hung on the wall.

“What are you in the mood for?” she asked, but I could tell she already had something in mind.

“Nothing sad” I warned. The last thing I wanted was to bring down my mood. As Becka dug through her collection of DVDs, I pulled out my phone and checked the messages William had sent.

Not funny. I can think of a few ways to punish you later.

I smiled and sent a quick reply.

Looking forward to it.

“How about something scary?” Becka asked, eyeing my phone.

“Sounds good.” I replied and slipped the phone back into my pocket. I felt it vibrate again but resisted the urge to check it. I was getting whiplash from Mr. Honor’s crazy mood swings. I needed to step back from him and figure out what it was that I wanted from him. Now was not that time. I was too high to think and when I tried to think of him all I could imagine was his lips on mine.

“What are you scared of” Becka said as she plopped on the bed next to me.

“What?” I asked, feeling like she was reading my thoughts.

“The movie. I know its lame but I figured we could get a good laugh out of it.” She explained, pulling a pillow from behind me and tucking it under her head.

“Oh…sounds good.” I replied, laying back on the bed and grabbing a cookie.

The next few hours were a blur. All I could think about was what William was doing. I excused myself to use the bathroom so I could check my messages.

You will be sorry you said that.

My heart thudded in my chest as I thought over sending him another message.

I miss you.

I hit send and regretted it immediately. My phone vibrated within seconds.

Emma, don’t.

I felt a lump form in my throat. Did he not have any feelings towards me at all? I left the bathroom, trying to hide the sadness in my face.

“What do you want to do now?” She asked as she lit the joint again.

“Forget” I said as I took it from her hands and drew a long hard breath.

“Easy enough. Let’s go out.” She replied with a grin. She stared at me anxiously, waiting for my reply. If William did not care, why should I?

“Let’s do it.” I smiled back, not sure it was the best idea.

“Great!” Becka screamed as she grabbed my arms. “We’ll find something hot to wear and I’ll call Claire. I know Jeff will be excited to see you.” She teased.

“What should we wear?” I asked, hoping she had something comfortable in mind.

Chapter Nineteen

After one long excruciating hour of trying on clothes we finally agreed that I was going to wear something that was entirely too revealing no matter how uncomfortable it made me.

“You look great!” Becka exclaimed. I tugged at the tight black skirt, trying to add a little more length. I crossed my arms over my chest, which was now in full view for all to see. “Show some confidence! The guys are going to be all over you!”

“Who says I want that?” I asked as I turned to look in her bathroom mirror.

“Come on.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the bathroom. After waiting a moment at the top of the stairs, to make sure her parents were not around, we snuck out the front door.

Becka drove a small red convertible that looked like a toy. I carefully lowered myself down, trying not to expose myself in the tiny skirt. We drifted out of the driveway so her parent’s would not hear us leave. As we hit the road, Becka revved her engine and took off down the road. She cranked the radio, singing at the top of her lungs along with ‘Highway to hell’. I laughed and sang along with her, finally beginning to relax.

We pulled up outside of Claire’s house about fifteen minutes later. Becka parked along the road and we ducked down in our seats waiting for Claire to sneak out.

“Let me in!” Claire whispered loudly, banging on my window. I nearly jumped out of my seat. I pushed open the door and slid forward as she ducked into the seat behind me. Becka took off before I even had the door closed. “Fuck!” Claire laughed as she tapped me on the shoulder. I glanced back at her as she held out a small bottle of liquor, shaking it at me. I took it from her, sniffing it before taking a small sip.

“This is disgusting!” I coughed, wishing I had something to wash it down with.

“More for me” Becka said as she took it from my hand. I rolled my eyes and pulled my seatbelt over me. As we pulled into the club, we had to circle the lot twice to find a parking spot. I got out of the car as gracefully as possible in my tiny outfit. Becka and Claire looped their arms in mine and dragged me inside. We ordered a round and chatted about all of the hot guys while we waited for Jeff and his friends to arrive.

My stomach twisted in knots as my phone vibrated in my hand.

“Uhh…It’s my Aunt.” I said to the girls as I answered. “Hello?” I asked, biting my lip.

“Bad girl” William replied.

“We just went out for a few drinks. How did you…”

“Stop biting your lip before I bend you over the bar and punish you right here.” He laughed but I knew he was not joking. I spun around scanning all of the faces. Mr. Honor stood at the far end of the bar, slamming back a shot. The girl pretty, blonde girl next to him was eye f**king him but he never looked her way. He stared directly at me. My cheeks burned red under his gaze.

“How did you know?” I asked and I saw his lips twist into a smile.

“I activated the GPS on your phone.” He motioned for the bartender to fill his glass again.

“You what?”

“Don’t look now, but Mr. Honor is at the bar!” Becka giggled in my ear and tossed her red hair to the side. Mr. Honor looked away and I turned back to my drink.

“We are leaving now.” I could see his jaw muscled flexing as he took another shot.

“I’ll be out for a few more hours.” I said cheerfully, as I winked at Becka and hung up the phone. Becka cheered and gave me a hug. I glanced over her shoulder at Mr. Honor who was staring at me angrily. I knew I would probably regret this later, but I was hurt and if he did not care than I was not going to. “More drinks!” I yelled as I finished the last sip of my cocktail. I forced a smile but I knew William was ready to explode. I felt my phone vibrate and I glanced down at it as I waited for the next round.