“Shut up, Ernie. He can hear you,” I said.

“That I can, beautiful, and I will amend that I have it rather bad for you too,” Remo said from the hallway.

I shucked my clothes, blushing furiously, doing my best not to think about just how bad he had it for me. I hurriedly pulled on the black attire. It suited my mood and clung to my body without reserve.

“That’s good for a fight. Means you won’t get hung up on loose clothing,” Ernie said. “You could use a jacket, though. See if there is anything in there that will cover your arms. If the council really has that fennel oil shit, you can peel out of a jacket before it eats through.”

I looked back into the closet and found a leather jacket near the back, like it had been stuffed there and forgotten. I ran my hands over it, thinking. There were tears and cuts that had been stitched together over and over, as though it had been through its share of monsters and battles. I pulled it off the rack. Maybe wearing it would be good luck, seeing as it had obviously survived a lot. The tag at the back had two initials stitched into it. RA. I ran a thumb over the initials and felt a surge of confidence. Yes, this was the jacket I needed to wear. Whoever had had it before me . . . somehow I knew she had been a badass of epic proportions.

I slipped it on, and Ernie gave a low whistle. “Now you look like a tough-ass chick.”

I laughed. “Looks can be deceiving, Ernie. Surely you know that by now.”

From outside the door, Remo laughed quietly under his breath, but I heard him. I opened the door, and his eyes went wide. “Ernie is right, you look like you could take on an army of demons by yourself.”

I snorted. “Let’s not get crazy. How about we deal with Hades first?”

Remo led the way out to his muscle car, and I enjoyed the view of his broad shoulders tapering down to his hips and long legs. “You know you can’t get his clothes off, no matter how hard you stare,” Ernie stage-whispered.

I took a halfhearted swat at him. “Ernie, knock it off!” He dodged me easily, laughing.

Remo turned and winked at me, and it was the first time I saw the fatigue in his eyes. Like even he didn’t want to be dealing with all the crap that came along with me.

Or maybe I was just reading into it too much.

“Come on, let’s get you to Merlin.” Remo slid into the driver’s side, and I stepped into the passenger seat. Ernie zipped through my open door and into the back, where he sprawled in the middle, both hands behind his head.

Remo started the car, and the roll of the engine vibrated along my skin, tingling and dancing. I closed my eyes and breathed through it, quickly blocking it out so I could focus on other things. Like apologizing to Remo.

“I am sorry about Santos, and for whatever grief it caused you with your superiors.” I stared straight out the window, not even daring a glance at him. “I didn’t have much choice, but—”

“There is no apology needed, Alena. None whatsoever. Santos . . . the Santos who was my brother died a long time ago, and I would have done the same as you had I been in your situation.” He turned the wheel, taking us onto the highway via a circling on-ramp. “As for my superiors . . . they will not allow my relationship with you to continue. That much has not changed.”

“I thought that was already done?” I kept my tone neutral. “You dumped me, remember?”

“But I’m here now with you, and that is enough for them to realize I am anything but done with you. Until I can straighten things out with them, this will be the last time I can work with you like this.”

Work. Like this was some sort of business merger, a deal gone south. The shot of pain was sharp as a knife to the finger and just as unexpected. I locked my jaw to keep it from trembling, and made myself not close my eyes; if I didn’t blink, no tears would fall.

“Alena, I am sorry. I should never have . . . I knew it was taboo between us, but I truly didn’t think it would ever amount to anything. You are a good girl, no matter how you think you’ve changed. You deserve someone better than me,” he said.

I kept my mouth shut, and he seemed to think it was a good idea to keep talking. Idiot.

“Smithy cares for you, and I think he—”

“I don’t love him.” I cut him off. “And that’s all there is to that.”

“They will destroy everyone around me if I do not break ties with you.”

Of course, that would be the reason. Even in my heart of hearts I knew he wouldn’t just push me out of his life for no reason. Remo was not the bad boy he thought he was, not by a long shot. He was going to protect those in his care, no matter the cost to his own heart. Or mine.

There had been one girl he’d fought for, though, one that he’d lost before her time. Suddenly I needed to know about her, to know what it was that I was missing. “Tell me about the girl you went to medical school for.”

He nodded. “I suppose I owe you that at least.” He was silent for a few minutes while he seemed to gather himself. “I loved her. She was the one who showed me that it didn’t matter what I was, or what she was, that I could still have someone who cared just for me. It didn’t matter to her that I was a vampire. Or a mob boss.” He glanced at me and smiled. “You’re like her that way.”

I smiled back, but my stomach was tense with fear of what was coming with his story. He went on. “She was human, and that made her acceptable in our world. I could pretend she was a donor and nothing more in front of the other vampires. She . . . she was very sick. And she wouldn’t let me turn her. So I went to school for her, to become a doctor. I thought I could still save her. I still believed that love had that kind of power.”