“Chey, baby, do as I ask,” Spike orders.

“No, I won’t hand you to them,” she cries, high pitched and frightened. “I won’t let you die.”

“We gotta pull over, Chey, pull over,” Spike pushes.

“No!”

“Spike, she’s right. We can’t pull over,” I hiss in his ear. “They’ll blow your fuckin’ brains out as soon as you step outta this car.”

“Oh God!” Chey cries.

“It’s me or they’re goin’ to fuckin’ blow this car!”

“We’re on a highway. They won’t do anythin’ while we remain on it.”

“Cade, you’re fuckin’ wrong about this. It’s the wrong call. We need to pull over.”

“I won’t fuckin’ sit back and let my best friend die,” I roar at him.

“Stop it!” Chey screams. “Just stop! I won’t pull over!”

“Pull over!” Spike bellows. “Now, Cheyenne!”

“No!”

My heart is thudding so loudly I can hear it in my head. We’re fucked. We’re royally fucked. Spike grips the door handle, but I lunge at him, gripping him around the neck and hurling him backwards. That’s when the shot rings out. Just one single shot. For a moment, I think it was just a warning shot, until I realize we’re covered in blood. It’s everywhere, on the roof, on the seats, on us. Spike’s eyes are wide; he’s just stopped moving. The whites in his eyes keep getting bigger and bigger, like he’s in shock. My stomach drops. My buddy, they’ve shot him, fuck, no. Then he opens his mouth, and he screams. He screams so loudly my ears begin ringing. It’s only then, I realize what he’s screaming about.

It wasn’t Spike who was shot.

It was Cheyenne.

Slowly, my mind registers what’s happening. When my eyes fall on the front seat of the car, I see so much blood it’s hard to see anything else. Then I see her, Cheyenne, missing half of her head. They shot her, clean in the back of the head. She’s dead. It’s her blood covering us. Spike’s screams pierce my ears, and I can’t react, all I can do is stare as the car begins spinning wildly out of control. When it begins to roll, I finally give in to the shock ripping through my body. Cheyenne is dead. She’s dead and it’s my fault. I let my best friend’s wife die. I as good as killed her.

When the car smashes into a tree, I let everything go black.

It’s easier that way.

PRESENT

I’m crying. No, I’m heaving. When Cade has finished telling me his story, I can hardly breathe. I’ve never heard something so gut wrenching in my life. It all makes sense to me now. God, poor Cade, poor Spike, poor Cheyenne. My heart breaks a little for each of them. I swipe my tears from my eyes, and I try to focus on Cade. He’s staring out the window, his body heaving. The guilt he’s holding, it’s huge. He blames himself for Chey’s death. I can understand why he blames himself, but he was trying to do the right thing. It’s not on him, though I understand why he can’t see that.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, reaching out and placing my hand on his back.

He’s sitting now, he got up mid-way through telling his story. He flinches when my fingers slide down his back.

“I killed my best friend’s wife,” he says in a voice devoid of all emotion.

“No, you didn’t.”

He turns, and when his eyes fall on mine, they’re glassy and red. “Yeah, I fuckin’ did. I forced them into that car. I didn’t let him stop when he wanted to.”

“If you didn’t leave, it could have ended the same way. If you had let Spike out, do you think you wouldn’t be carrying the same guilt when they did the same to him?”

Cade closes his eyes a moment, then opens them. “He hates me for it, and he has every fuckin’ right.”

“He can hate you, and yeah, maybe he does have the right, but he should hate himself too. He put himself in that situation, therefore putting his wife in it, too.”

“He went through hell afterwards. Her family tried to put him in jail. He also lost a baby when she died. He lost everything he believed in.”

“And he lost you.”

Cade flinches. “I’ll never forgive myself for it. I see her face every time I close my eyes. She haunts me.”

“She wouldn’t hate you, you know.”

He shakes his head. “No, that’s the fuckin’ painful thing. She wouldn’t hate me. She would tell me it was her choice. That she was the one who wanted it. Cheyenne was beautiful like that.”

“I don’t think you’re a bad person, Cade.”

He turns to look at me. “Why do you have to be so fuckin’ understandin’?”

“Because I’ve lived with pain, guilt and horror before. I know how it feels to be trapped in it. You’re not a bad person. You’re only human, and sometimes, we don’t make the right choices.”

He cups my face. “I could so easily love you sugar, you’re testin’ every part of me. I’m fallin’ fuckin’ hard.”

I tremble at his words and every hair on my body stands on end. Did he just say he could love me? I mean, truly love me? He must be mistaken. He’s feeling lust, and getting it confused with falling in love. Noticing my expression, Cade turns my face and lets his eyes scan my face.

“Sugar, you look like you’re about to pass out. Breathe.”