“Wait!” I try to break free of Sidney’s grip, but he holds on even tighter. “I’m coming in that ambulance.”

One of the EMTs puts up his hands. “You need to calm down, ma’am.”

“I’m his fiancée! I need to go with him!” I can’t seem to take a breath, and my words are stilted.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t let you go in your condition. It’s not safe.” He looks to Sidney, whose arms I’m clawing at, trying to get free so I can be with Alex.

Beneath my hysteria, I know he’s right—that I’m likely a distraction and a hazard—but I can’t stop the panic.

“I don’t want him to be alone.” I’m sobbing again, struggling and failing to keep myself together.

Sunny steps forward with her hand raised. “I’m his sister. Can I go?”

The EMT assesses her state. She’s so much calmer. “Get in. We need to go. Now.”

Sunny looks to me, as if she needs permission. I can’t speak any more, so I flail a weak hand toward the ambulance.

One of the EMTs helps her up. They’re already hooking Alex up to monitors. Sunny’s shoulders curve in; one palm presses against her face, and the other settles on Alex’s arm. It should be me in there. I can’t breathe. He’s my everything.

The doors close with a heavy slam, cutting off my view, and drive away with my life, sirens blaring.

It’s what my heart would sound like if it could scream, too.

6

Too Close to the Edge

VIOLET

Thankfully the crowd hasn’t spilled out of the arena yet to gum up the parking lot and exits. Sidney’s driving with my mom in the passenger seat. I’m in the back, sandwiched between Charlene and Lily. The ride to the hospital is painful. I feel like I’m going to barf. My whole body is numb and hyper-alert at the same time.

Buck calls my phone minutes after we pull out of the parking lot. I try to answer, but my hands are shaking too badly for me to hit the button.

“Here. Let me get it.” Charlene gently pries the phone from my hands and brings it to her ear. “Hi, Miller… She’s right here with me. He’s in the ambulance, and we’re following. Sunny’s with him. Vi’s having a hard time. I know… Yes… No.”

“I want. To talk. To him.” I hiccup through the words and hold out my hand.

“Vi wants to talk to you.”

Charlene passes me the phone. I can’t get the shaking under control. I think this might be what shock is. I clutch my phone with both hands and bring it close to my ear. “Buck?” It comes out as a horrible-sounding sob.

“Shh. It’s okay, Vi. He’s gonna be okay.” His voice is cracking, though, so I don’t know if I should believe him.

“He w-wasn’t moving. H-he w-w-wasn’t—I c-c-can’t.” I suck in a gasping breath. I’m losing it again, not that I had anything under control in the first place.

“He took a hit, Vi. It happens. You gotta trust he’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna meet you at the hospital. We’re all gonna be there with you. ’Kay?”

“H-how long will you be?”

“Half an hour tops. We’re right behind you.”

“Do Daisy and Robbie know?”

“I talked to them. They’re on the first flight out. They’ll be here by morning.”

I try not to think about how many hours that is, and what could happen between now and then. “’K-kay.”

“He’s gonna be fine, Vi.”

“He has to be.”

“Put Lily on for a sec.”

“’K-kay.”

As soon as I pass the phone to Lily, Charlene drapes an arm over my shoulder and pulls me to her side. I’m a snotting, sobbing mess. I can’t stop, and it’s making breathing difficult. “I’m scared.”

“I know. We all are.” This is what I love about my best friend. She doesn’t tell me it’s going to be okay when she doesn’t know if that’s true. She’s just here for me.

I can tell Lily’s on the phone with Randy by her tone. I’m crying too hard to listen. It feels like it takes forever to get to the hospital. We lose the ambulance at a red light, so I start panicking again. My mom turns in her seat and holds out her hand. I want to crawl in her lap and make her tell me it’s all a bad dream, like I’m a little kid, even though I know it’s not.

Sidney stops at the emergency entrance, and we pile out. I stumble-run through the doors. It’s busy and bright and loud. Everything is moving too fast and too slow.

“Vi, take a breath, honey.” My mom’s hand is on my back.

“I just want to see him.” I search for Sunny’s blond hair, but there are too many people, and I can’t seem to focus on any one thing.

My mom guides me to intake, which is where we find Sunny. She’s not in much better shape than me.

“Did he wake up?” I ask.

Her bottom lip trembles. “He made a noise when they put in the IV, but that was it. He’s had a concussion before, but he’s never been out like this…”

She doesn’t have to say more. We both start crying again, because we just don’t know.

There are no answers, and all the questions keep piling up, burying me until I feel like I’m going to suffocate under the pressure.

With Alex’s medical information already passed over, we don’t have to go through the process of filling out forms. A very sweet nurse takes us to a private waiting room while Alex is assessed by a team of doctors. He’ll have the very best care, but it doesn’t provide much in the way of solace when none of us has any idea of how severe the damage is.