I should go home. I know I should. Only something is drawing me into the building. I’ve wanted to sneak in and watch them before, many times, but I’ve always managed to talk myself out of it. Maybe because Lillia’s told me plenty about what goes on with her and Reeve when they swim together. She’s happy to share the details.

But suddenly I need to see it with my own eyes. Them together. While she’s changing, I hurry down the hallway into the pool area. The whole space is finished now, and it looks beautiful. They’ve installed the diving board, painted a big seagull mascot on the far wall. The entire ceiling is glass, and it lets in a ton of light. It bounces off the cool blue water.

Off to the side of the diving board is the utility closet where Kat, Lillia, and I once had to hide out from a construction worker. I wish I could duck inside there, but there’s no way. Reeve’s down at the shallow end, doing high knee lifts. He’d definitely see me.

I glance in the other direction and see a row of metal stadium bleachers bolted along the wall, running almost the length of the entire pool. Quickly, I duck underneath them. Lucky for me, someone has stacked up a bunch of blue kickboards, which gives me enough cover if I kneel down on the floor.

Perfect.

For a few minutes I have the chance to watch Reeve alone. He’s working hard out there. And though he’s lost a bit of the muscle from early in the football season, I like his body even better now. It’s less bulky, more lean. Cut.

After he finishes a set of his exercises, Reeve swims over to the entrance and looks down the locker room hallway. He’s waiting for her.

Then Lillia comes into the pool. She’s changed out of her school clothes and into a black one-piece. It’s definitely not something she’d ever be caught dead wearing on the beach, but it still looks great on her. If I didn’t know she couldn’t swim, I’d think she was there to lifeguard. She sits on the edge of the bleachers right in front of where I’m hiding, and tucks her hair up into a white swim cap.

“Yo, Cho,” Reeve calls out. “You’re late.”

Lillia doesn’t answer. Even though there’s a ladder that’s closer, she walks down to the shallow end of the pool and climbs into the water there. She’s timid, and she reacts like it’s freezing cold.

As soon as Lillia is in the pool, Reeve abandons his own exercises and starts instructing her. He helps her practice floating, with his hands underneath her back. He has her practice her arm movements in the shallow end. Every exercise he gives her, he watches her intently, like a coach. He corrects her plenty of times, which definitely seems to frustrate Lil, but when she can’t see it, he’s nodding and smiling like she’s perfect.

For a while I close my eyes and think about that day when Reeve shoved me into the water. Would it have happened if those other kids hadn’t been there? I bet it wouldn’t have. I bet we would have ridden the ferry home together, like always. I feel the tears come out of my eyes, and I let them fall.

When I open my eyes again, Reeve is out of the water, drying off right where I’m standing. Close up, I can see he still has a few scars from homecoming night, places where the glass cut into his skin. The skin in those spots is pinker than the rest of his body. Pink and pale and almost translucent.

I swallow hard and wipe away my eyes with my sleeve.

“I’m going to go get changed, Cho. Why don’t you take the kickboards out and do some laps in the deep end?”

Reeve leaves, and Lillia goes to do what she’s told. But when she comes over to grab a kickboard, she sees me and almost screams.

“I’m sorry!” I whisper.

“Mary!” She looks over both her shoulders. “What on earth are you doing here?” And then, I think, the answer comes to her. She looks suddenly joyous. “Have you been watching the whole time? Did you see how many times he tried to touch me? It’s really, really working!”

“Yes, it is working,” I say quietly.

Lillia adds, “As a bonus, I’ve gotten a lot better in the water. I think I might actually take that swim test for real.” She shivers, and water droplets fly off her. “It’s a win-win!”

I blink a few times. Thank goodness Lillia doesn’t know all the things I feel deep down about Reeve. I don’t want anyone to know, not ever. “That’s awesome,” I say quickly, in a whisper. “I’m so glad you’re getting something out of this too.”

But I’m not sure if Lillia hears me. Her eyes turn to the hallway. “Crap.” She quickly takes a kickboard off the top of the stack and leaps into the pool awkwardly.

Reeve enters a few seconds later, fully dressed. “You punking out on me, Cho?”

“No. I . . . I just . . . I don’t like to go to the deep end when I’m by myself.”

Reeve crouches down at the edge of the pool. It takes some effort; I can tell his leg is stiff and sore from the workout. Plus he has his walking cast back on. He says, “Don’t worry. I’m right here.” And then he adds, “You owe me an extra lap for that,” but he says it in a tender, joking way.

Lillia uses the kickboard and works her way down to the opposite end of the pool. Reeve walks alongside her, every step of the way. His leg has gotten better. Stronger.

As soon as I get my chance, I run out of the pool, and all the way home. I’m the one who’s in deep water. I’m the one who’s sinking.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

While I dry off, Reeve goes to the parking lot and starts my car so it’s warm for me. It’s super cold out. I didn’t even have to ask him to, which is a great sign.

I gather up my stuff and meet him out there. I keep my eyes peeled for Mary, to see if she’s still around, but she’s nowhere to be found.

Reeve’s taken the icer and chiseled the frost off my windshield. Reeve’s truck is also turned on, and frostless, parked right next to mine. But he’s waiting in my car, sitting in my driver’s seat, listening to my music. I force the grin off my face and hop into the passenger side. “Hey,” I say, pointing the vents so they’re blowing right on me. “Thanks for starting my car up for me.”

“No problem.” He doesn’t make a move to get out, so I stay put too. Abruptly he says, “Hey, you never told me how Boston went.”

“Oh, it was good. My interview with Wellesley went really well. The lady who interviewed me used to visit Jar Island when she was growing up, so we had that in common.”

“Cool, cool.” Reeve drums his fingers on my steering wheel. “So did Lindy finally man up and make his move?”

My eyes go wide. Did Alex make a move on me? I mean, we did kind of hold hands. But it’s not like that’s a move move. I’m not going to tell Reeve that, though. Better he thinks Alex did. “Why? Are you jealous?”

Reeve makes a “pfft” sound and looks out the window. “Is Lind jealous of our pool time?” he counters.

I force a swallow. “He doesn’t know about it.” I want to tell Reeve, Please don’t say anything, but I can’t do that. Instead I think fast and say, “Does Rennie?” even though I’m sure of his answer. Because if Rennie even had a clue about us, I’d definitely know.

Reeve scrunches up his forehead. “Nah. I haven’t mentioned it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

So neither of us has told anyone. Rennie and Alex don’t know. But I’m dreading the moment they do. Because this is happening. The train is on the tracks, and it’s speeding up.

Reeve takes his hands off the steering wheel and lets them fall to his lap, where he fidgets for a moment. Then he looks at me, and I can tell he’s about to say something. Or do something.

I panic.

I whip out my cell, pound out a fake text, and tell him, “I should get home. Maybe I’ll see you this weekend?”

He bites the inside of his cheek and says, “Sure. See you, Cho.”

On Saturday, on my way out of Milky Morning, I run into PJ. “Hey, stranger!” I say, as he holds the door open for me. He holds his hand up for a high five and says, “See you tonight, Lil.”

I hand him my box of muffins to hold while I zip up my puffer. “What’s happening tonight?”

“Ren scored a ton of free booze. We’re going to meet up in the woods by her house. She didn’t tell you?”

“No,” I say. “She didn’t.” Neither did Ash. At Rennie’s command, I’m sure. If that’s how Ren wants to play it, so be it. Two can play at that game.

“What time are you guys meeting up?” I ask him.

“Nine.”

“It’s so cold, though,” I say. “We’ll freeze out there.”

“The booze will keep us warm. Besides, where else are we gonna go?”

Lucky me, my mom and Nadia are off island at a horse show. They won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon. My mom wanted me to stay at Rennie’s or ask Carlota to stay over, which I told her was ridiculous—I’m seventeen, and in less than a year I’ll be away at college. I’m old enough to stay by myself for a night. “Besides,” I said, “don’t you trust me?” My mom caved at that. “Of course I do,” she said.

I text Alex first.

It’s so cold out. Wanna come over and watch a movie tonight?

9? Bring Derek!

He writes back immediately.

Sounds good! Next is Ash. I know that if I dangle Derek in front of her, she’ll take the bait. She’d blow off Rennie in a second to hang out with Derek. She’s been crushing on him since last year, and they’ve hooked up a few times, but they’re definitely not exclusive.

My mom and Nadia are off island tonight. Wanna come over and watch a movie? The guys are coming—Derek too!

Yes! What time?

9

Yay!

Then Reeve.

Movie night at my house if you’re interested.

Reeve takes his sweet time writing back. One word.

Cool. I jump into action. Carlota was here earlier today, so the house is sparkly clean. But we need snacks.

I bake a batch of brownies, not from scratch, from a box, but it’s a fancy brand my mom got from some specialty food store in Boston. It cost eleven dollars, so I figure it must be good. For good measure I throw in a handful of chocolate chips. I grab a not-too-expensive-looking bottle of red wine from the wine cellar, and I set that out too, with some glasses. At the last minute I pop a bag of kettle corn and figure that will be good enough.

Then I run upstairs to get ready. I change out of my school clothes and put on skinny jeans and an off-the-shoulder creamcolored sweater. I dab some Lillia perfume on behind my ears and in the hollow of my neck. No makeup, though, only cherry ChapStick.

Casual.

But I’m excited inside. Excited thinking about Rennie alone in the woods with her bottles of booze, freezing her butt off while she waits for everybody to show.

We’re all lounging in the TV room. Ash and Derek are cozied up in our leather armchair with a blanket, where I told them to sit. Alex and I are on the sectional. No Reeve. I guess he met up with Rennie after all. I’m trying not to feel disappointed, when the doorbell rings.

“Who else is coming?” Alex asks me.

“I don’t know,” I say, and run for the door.

I open it, and there’s Reeve in his puffer vest and sweater. “Hey!” I say. I get up on my tiptoes and give him a hug. He looks taken aback, and I smile at him, sweet as cotton candy.

“Lind is here?” he asks me, looking over my shoulder and frowning.

“Yup . . .” Then it dawns on me. He thought it was going to be the two of us. Like maybe a date. Wow. That’s good. That’s really good. I can’t wait to tell Kat and Mary all about it. I link my arm through his and lead him into the house. “Everybody’s in the living room.”

Reeve follows me down the foyer. “Reeve’s here,” I announce, even though, duh, he’s here; we all have eyes.

“What up, Tabatsky,” Derek says.

Alex makes room for him on the couch. When Reeve sits down and starts to put his feet up on the coffee table, Alex says, “Dude, they don’t wear shoes in the house here.”

“Calm down, Lindy,” Reeve says. But he obeys; he takes his shoes off.

“You too,” Ash says to Derek.

“It’s fine,” I say, but I’m relieved Alex said something. I hate to be the one going around telling people to take their shoes off; it’s so awkward. But my mom will seriously kill me if our white furniture gets dirty. It’s like her life’s mission is to buy everything in white and then rise to the challenge of keeping it that way.

“Does anybody want any wine?” I ask. I feel so grown-up until I realize I don’t even know how to open a wine bottle.

“Yes, please!” Ashlin chimes in.

I fumble with the wine opener until Reeve takes it from me and pops it open in like two seconds without saying a word. Then he pours the wine for all of us. “Where’s Ren?” he asks me, setting the bottle back down.

Shrugging, I say, “No idea.” I hop up and run to the kitchen and come back with the plate of brownies. “Fresh baked!” I sing out. I shimmy over to Ash and Derek, and they take one and share it.

I come back to the couch and offer one to Alex, who accepts it. Then I put the plate back on the coffee table and sit down between him and Reeve. “So what are we watching? There are a few good things on demand—”

“You’re not even going to offer me a brownie?” Reeve interjects. “What kind of hostess are you?”