“What if you forget something?”

She laughed. “I’ve been using this system for the ten years I’ve been in practice. Trust me, it works for me and for my patients.”

I nodded.

“So how are you and Jade now?”

“She’s pretty pissed.” Pissed enough to leave the ranch. A dagger jabbed me in the stomach.

“I can understand that.”

“After what he did to her, I don’t know why she didn’t want me to beat him to a pulp.”

“Part of her probably did. But she was being rational, Talon.”

Rational. The word hung in the air, ridiculing me. In other words, I had not been rational. Couldn’t really argue there.

“So how did you leave things with Jade?”

And again, the dagger. “She doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. She says she’s moving out of the ranch house.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

How could answer that? I hardly knew Jade Roberts, but I had been more intimate with her in these last weeks that I had ever been with anyone in my life. I had a constant need for her, a constant ache…

A craving.

“Talon”—she leaned forward, her eyes serious—“this is only going to work if you open up and are honest with me.”

I nodded. She was right. Rationally, I knew she spoke the truth. I cleared my throat and looked down at my lap.

“Do you think you might be more comfortable with a male therapist? I have several colleagues who are excellent.”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with any therapist. But my brother Jonah says you come highly recommended.”

“That’s kind of him.”

I nodded. I was nodding a lot.

Her gaze turned serious again. “Talon, I know you didn’t drive all the way here into Grand Junction on a Saturday to not talk to me. Obviously, Jade and your feelings for her are what caused the issue this morning. Are you in love with her?”

My whole body tensed, and I stood and walked over to the desk and back. “How could I be in love with her? I’ve only known her a couple of weeks.”

“Then how do you feel about her leaving? Will you miss her?”

Miss her? Those words didn’t even begin to encompass how I would feel if she left. Not having Jade around would be like a Colorado summer without the sun, a meadow without columbine, the Rocky Mountains without Ponderosa Pines and Aspens.

“I will miss her.”

Dr. Carmichael nodded. “Why do you think it was so hard for you to voice that?”

“I don’t know. Isn’t that your job? To figure me out?”

“Talon, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think things inside you run a heck of a lot deeper than you’re letting on. These feelings for Jade that are troubling you—there’s a reason why you can’t admit them. Tell me, were you close to your mother?”

Christ, my mother. Time for a Freudian analysis. “My mother died when I was twelve.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that. Were you close to her before then?”

“When I was really little, yeah. But then she changed.”

“How did she change?”

“She got very depressed. My sister was born prematurely when I was ten, and she almost died. Maybe my mother had postpartum depression. I don’t know.”

“That’s quite possible. Are you saying she took her own life?”

I nodded. She might very well have had postpartum depression, but that wasn’t why she took her own life.

“How about your father? Were you and he close?”

I was surprised she didn’t ask me anything further about my mother’s suicide. Wasn’t that a shrink’s wet dream? “No, not really. He was closest to my older brother, Jonah. Come to think of it, he was pretty close to my younger brother, too, and of course to Marjorie, the only girl. She was Daddy’s little girl if there ever was one.”

“I see. Tell me about your family dynamic. You say you have an older and younger brother.”

“Yeah. Jonah is thirty-eight, I’m thirty-five, and Ryan is thirty-two. Marjorie didn’t come along until a lot later. She’s twenty-five.”

“So she doesn’t even remember her mother.”

“That’s right.”

“So back to your father. How old is he now?”

“He died seven years ago, right after Marjorie left for college. Heart attack.”

“I’m very sorry about that.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “Well, like I said, we weren’t all that close.”

“Let’s talk a little bit about your childhood, then. Were you and your brothers close growing up?”

“Yeah, when we were little.”

“What do you mean by that—when we were little?”

“I guess I mean up until about the time I was ten.”

“So what happened when you were ten?”

I stood up, my heart pounding out of my chest. The walls—dank concrete walls—surrounded me. Closed in on me…

I drew in a deep breath. “I have to leave now.”

“We still have a lot of time. I’m happy to stay and help you as much as I can today.”

“No. Don’t worry. I’ll see that you’re paid for your time. Double for coming in on the weekend.”

“Talon, that’s not nec—”

I walked out the door quickly, beads of perspiration emerging on my forehead, my heart beating a rapid staccato.

Before I had gotten to the door, my legs turned to gelatin and gave out from under me, and I fell.

Dr. Carmichael came running out of her office. “What happened? Are you all right?”

Purple haze…and then the concrete walls again… Closing in…

I tried to breathe…

Air…needed air…

Then flames…

Morphing into wings of purple and gold.

A phoenix rising…

And then blackness.

Chapter Fifteen

Jade

“Jade, you can’t leave.” Marjorie unfolded my clothes as quickly as I was folding them. “You just got here. Between you working for Ryan at the winery and me working around the ranch, we’ve hardly spent any time together.”