LEO: Did I vow? Not on the River Styx. I know better!

SALLY: Hello, Thalia, dear. You’re looking particularly punk today. And Leo—

LEO: As smokin’ hot as always, am I right?

SALLY: Well, smoking, anyway. You’re smoldering through your T-shirt.

LEO: Whoops. Let me put me out. There.

THALIA: Anyway…we’re here to get insight into how mortal parents feel about Camp Half-Blood. Ms. Jackson, Dr. Chase, you’ve never actually set foot in the camp, is that right?

SALLY: That’s correct. Even though I can see through the Mist better than most mortals, I can’t get through the magic border. I suppose if someone gave me direct permission to enter, I might be able to, but even then, I’m not sure. The closest I ever got was the summit of Half-Blood Hill, and honestly, I’m not anxious to try that again.

LEO: Yeah, Peleus the dragon might snack on you. Or the Athena Parthenos might zap you with her laser-beam eyes. Wait…does the statue even have laser-beam eyes, or is that just my wishful thinking? Not that I’d want you to be zapped, Mrs. J.

SALLY: Thank you, dear, that’s very comforting to know.

THALIA: How about you, Dr. Chase?

FREDERICK [puts down model airplane he was tinkering with]: Hmm? Oh, yes. Camp. No, never been, though it would be fascinating to study from a historical point of view. From what Annabeth has told me, the only uninvited mortal to make it through unscathed was Rachel Dare.

THALIA: I heard there was this pizza guy once…but that’s probably just a camp legend. Ms. Jackson, you may recall that I was there—in pine-tree mode—the first time Percy passed through. I don’t remember it, though, because…well, I was a tree.

SALLY: I’m a little foggy on the details myself.

FREDERICK: Something about a Minotaur?

SALLY: Everything about a Minotaur.

THALIA: Can’t say my first time at the border was much better. Fighting off monsters one minute, then—ZAP!—oozing tree sap the next.

FREDERICK: My word, Thalia, I just realized…I’ve never thanked you for saving Annabeth’s life that day!

THALIA: It’s ancient history, Dr. Chase, no worries.

FREDERICK: Perhaps I could ship you this model of Amelia Earhart’s 1921 Kinner Airster biplane that I just finished. It’s a lovely replica!

THALIA: That’s really not necessary. But tell me, both of you, now that things have settled down in the demigod world, wouldn’t you ever want to see Camp Half-Blood for yourselves?

SALLY: Well…yes, of course, if there were no Minotaurs or, ah, laser-beam-shooting impediments. In fact, after Percy’s first summer there, I did ask Chiron if he’d open the camp for just one day so families could visit. Mortal families, that is.

LEO: I’m guessing Chiron said no.

SALLY: Yes.

LEO: Wait…he said yes?

SALLY: No, he said no.

LEO: I’m confused.

THALIA: What else is new?

SALLY: Chiron told me that he did have a visitors’ day once, about a hundred years ago. But it did not go well.

THALIA: What happened?

SALLY: Somehow an eidolon, a manticore, and a disgruntled Party Pony found out about it. The eidolon possessed a camper’s half sister, the centaur got his hands on a cap of invisibility, and the manticore disguised himself as a family dog. They infiltrated the camp.

THALIA: Not a bad plan, though I prefer a direct assault myself.

SALLY: It might have worked, except the centaur wasn’t the sharpest kopis in the drawer. He couldn’t help showing off during the archery exhibition. Shot three bull’s-eyes before someone noticed the bow was floating in midair.

THALIA: What about the manticore and the eidolon?

SALLY: They caught the manticore spiking the volleyballs. With its tail spikes, that is, not actually hitting the balls over the net.

THALIA: Volleyball existed a hundred years ago?

FREDERICK: Yes, indeed! Volleyball, or mintonette as it was originally called, was invented in 1895 by William G. Morgan in—Sorry. Once a professor, always a professor.

SALLY: The eidolon caused the most destruction. It hurled a jar of Greek fire at the climbing wall, which then dripped with flames for hours afterward. That’s where Chiron came up with the idea of adding lava as a permanent feature for the wall, by the way.

THALIA: That Chiron. Always finding ways to turn death-defying challenges into much worse death-defying challenges. So what happened to the intruders?

LEO: Festus!

FREDERICK: Gesundheit.

SALLY: I think he means Festus, his bronze dragon.

LEO: The one and only! You know he was originally built for border patrol, right? What I heard, he had a killer body back then. Like, literally—he had this spiky exterior plating so he could use his body to kill. Man, I bet he body-slammed that manticore right back to Tartarus!

SALLY: Chiron did mention there had been some body-slamming. As for the eidolon, it took the combined powers of Aphrodite’s children to charmspeak the spirit out of the girl.

LEO: And the centaur?

SALLY: Chiron sorted out the cause of his fellow centaur’s anger—something about not getting his fair share of root beer the last time he was at camp. Chiron, being kindhearted, let him return to his tribe with a warning. But the camp hasn’t held another visitors’ day since.

THALIA: I guess I see why. And now that I think about it, a family day might be depressing for some of the campers who don’t have family. I mean…who’d come visit me? Or Leo?

LEO: Speak for yourself, Tree Girl. I may not have much family, but all the ladies would flock to me like moths to my flame. Aw, yeah!

THALIA: Aw, yech.

FREDERICK: Now, now. We’d visit both of you! Er, that is, if you do schedule a visitors’ day, and if I can remember to put the date on my calendar….

SALLY: [coughs] I think the important thing is that I know Percy and the rest of you have a safe place to be. I don’t feel a driving need to see the camp for myself. It’s just comforting to know that when my son is there, he’s with friends who have his back.

LEO: Also his front, his sides, and his top. I draw the line at his bottom, though.

SALLY: However, there is something I’d like to get on the record. Something I think all mortal parents would agree with.

THALIA: Sure, go ahead, Ms. Jackson.

SALLY: Demigods, we love you.

FREDERICK: Agreed.

SALLY: But if you don’t start Iris-messaging us a little more often, we’re going to sic Coach Hedge on you. Take care of yourselves, and make us proud. You always do!

Recently recovered from a massive spiderweb deep within the bowels of Rome, this priceless forty-foot-tall chryselephantine* statue of the goddess Athena is accessorized with a sphinx-and-griffin crown, a handheld statue of the goddess Nike, a shield, and a snake. It exudes its protective and somewhat fierce magic from its new home atop Half-Blood Hill.

Ask anyone here and they’ll tell you I’m a levelheaded guy. Big on logic, small on drama. A think-first, leap-second sort of demigod. Comes with being Athena’s kid, I guess.

So I was a little freaked-out when the visions started hitting me.

Demigods have nightmares regularly—as you’ll find out soon enough, I’m afraid. But these visions would happen when I was awake. I’d be walking along, not a care in the world, when—BAM! My brain would be flooded with images of some ancient Greek festival. I saw athletic events like in the Olympics, plus musical contests, poetry readings, and even beauty pageants. I witnessed winners receiving amphorae of olive oil (super valuable back then). I watched a parade that ended with a life-size wooden statue of Athena being ceremoniously draped with a huge colorful cloth.