I felt helpless, and paralysed with fear as to what was going on with J, and what it was doing to our relationship.

***

“I truly feel like we’re taking one step forward and three back at the moment,” I admitted to Harlow the next morning over coffee.  I’d just caught her up on me and J.

“How was he last night?  Did he bring it up again?”

“No, he came home late, and he’d been drinking again.  I’m so confused.  J’s not usually a big drinker but over the last couple of weeks he’s been drinking more and more.”

“Well, he’s obviously keeping something from you.  It really does sound like something is worrying him.”

“He keeps saying it’s just club business.  Is Scott worried about club stuff at the moment?”

She shrugged.  “He doesn’t seem stressed about anything.”

“Shit.  It must be something else then, and he’s just using that as an excuse.”

“Sounds like it, honey.”

“I feel like I’m in a catch twenty-two; I’m trying hard to not keep questioning him about shit but at the same time, if we don’t talk about this, I feel like it’s going to come between us.”

“Yeah, I think you need to force the point.  You guys are strong, right?”

My insecurities flared up.  “He tells me that we are, and that we’re forever, but sometimes his actions don’t match up.  And, to be honest, I would have thought we’d be engaged by now.  When he got back two months ago, he was all about us getting married, and then nothing.  So, I don’t know what to think.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile.  “Sorry, hon.  But I’m sure that if anyone can work this out, it’s you and J.  It’s obvious to me that he loves you.”

I smiled back at her.  “Okay, that’s enough about me.  Tell me about you.  How’s my brother treating you?”

Her face lit up.  “He’s amazing.”

I rolled my eyes.  “The words Scott Cole and amazing have never been used before as far as I’m aware.”

She laughed.  “Well, I just did.”

Nodding, I said, “You really do bring out the best in him.”

“Did you know that he’s booked Lisa’s mum into rehab?”

“Really?  When does she go?”

“It’s at a place in Byron Bay and she leaves in a few days.  Lisa’s going to stay with him while she’s away.”

“Wow, that’s great.  How the hell did Scott get her to agree to that?”

“She came to him two days ago and begged for his help.  He seems to think that she’s serious about it so that’s why he’s agreed.  It’s costing him a fortune.  See, I told you he’s amazing.”

I had to agree with her this time.  “Yeah, who would have thought.  But he does have that soft spot for Lisa.”

“He does.  She’s such a gorgeous kid.  I’m looking forward to girl time with her when she stays with him.”

I laughed.  “Don’t you already have girl time with her?  Scott was muttering something about paying for mani-pedi’s for you two the other day.  I didn’t even know that he knew what a mani-pedi was.”

“He didn’t!  But he does now,” she said, winking.

“Oh my God, you’re a classic, Harlow.  Only you could get my brother to pay for mani-pedis.”

She finished her coffee and smiled at me.  “Amazing, I tell you.  Don’t tell him, but he’s paying for high tea for me and Lisa this weekend.”

“I can just hear him now, ‘High fuckin’ what, babe?’” I teased.

She started laughing so hard that tears came to her eyes, and this in turn, made me start too.  “So true,” she spluttered through her tears.

I checked the time on my phone.  “I’ve got to go, but we’re still on for tonight, right?”

“Definitely,” she agreed, “I can’t wait.”

“Good.  And thank you for this.  I needed the chat and the laugh.”

“Anytime.  I love our chats.”

I gave her a hug before I left, and thought about how thankful I was that she’d come into my life.

Chapter 6

Madison

I stood on the footpath and watched as Blade’s Jag came into view.  He pulled up next to me, and I got in.  I didn’t look back at Harlow or Scott, although I could feel Scott’s scowl behind me.  My night out with Harlow had turned to shit, and I’d called on the one person I knew who was removed from the situation so I could get his take on it.

“Your house or mine?” he asked, eyes focused on mine in that intense Blade gaze I’d come to know well.

I sighed.  “Mine.”

He raised his brows.

“He won’t be there, and I’m tired and want my bed,” I said.

“Your call, babe,” he replied, and then put the car in drive and focused his gaze on the road as he sped off.

We were both silent for the drive, and I appreciated him even more for that.  It was one thing I’d learnt about him over the past few months; he was a perceptive man, and could read moods and needs very well.

I sat staring at the rain that had started falling.  The darkness, the traffic lights and the rain all blurred together as I thought about the events of the night.  I shivered from the air conditioning in the car, and Blade must have noticed because he reached out and shut it off.  Normally, I would have thanked him for that, but tonight I just didn’t have it in me.