We groan together as his cock stretches me. My thighs shake the more I take him in.

“You feel so fucking good.”

I stop, breathing harshly and trying to fit him in.

“Go all the way, Green.”

“But you’re so big.”

“You said you liked being hurt.”

I nibble on my lower lip. “I do.”

“But you like it better when I do it?”

My eyes widen. How can he read me so fast?

I don’t have to say anything, though. He grabs me by the hips and brings me down in one merciless go. His balls slap against my arse with the force of it. I cry out, then squeal when he flips me so I’m lying underneath him.

Unlike earlier, I don’t have to tell him to go harder. He thrusts into me with the urgency of a desperate man.

Of someone who has nothing before him or after him.

The harder he pounds into me, the tighter I hold on to him.

I’m sore and it hurts slightly, but that’s the last thought on my mind right now.

Xander isn’t the only one who’s desperate. I am, too.

I’ve waited for him for so long, it almost feels unreal now, like maybe I’ll wake up and all of this will be a dream.

If it is a dream, then I have no interest in waking up.

I can be trapped here for eternity, thank you very much.

“You’re so beautiful, Green.” His eyes hold mine captive as his cock owns me. “You’ve been driving me fucking insane.”

I don’t know if it’s his words or his rhythm, but I come undone in a minute. The record time would be embarrassing if I had the clarity of mind to care about that.

Xander’s name is the only thing on my lips as I reach that peak, that place of freedom. There’s no fog here, no pain. Just a pure high.

“Say it again,” he grunts.

“What?”

“My name.”

“Xan.” I brush my lips against his. “I missed you, Xan.”

He groans as his back turns rigid and he joins me over the edge.

Xander brings my bandaged wrist to his mouth and kisses it so tenderly, it actually hurts.

Not physically, but emotionally. The fact that he sees it, that he saw it even when I refused to see it myself, makes me want to hide.

But I don’t hide, not from him.

He’s been the only one I could never hide from.

“I missed you, too, Green.”

 

 

31

 

 

Xander

 

 

Cole wasn’t wrong to call me a watcher.

I am. It’s not something I can resist.

My gaze follows Kim as she disappears into her house, a huge grin on her face.

Her flushed, reddened face that I haven’t gotten my fill of.

The face that will never leave my vicinity, even if she wants to.

Now that all those facts have come to light, I’ve passed the watcher state and gone into a different type of category.

Addiction.

There’s a difference between being obsessed and watching from afar and the inability to stop thinking about something.

It’s even worse than alcohol because that addiction only started to kill this addiction.

Needless to say, it’s not working.

“Turn around,” I whisper to myself as I stand by my front door.

If it were up to me, she wouldn’t leave my bed for…years, that’s about right.

We’ll begin with the seven years I resisted her and me and everything that made sense, and I’ll multiply them for recompensation.

And then I’ll tie her to me because there’s no way in fuck she’s staying out of my sight now.

Kim stops at the threshold and glances over her shoulder, trapping the corner of her lip under her teeth.

Fuck me.

“You’re killing me, Green,” I mouth.

She smiles. It’s a special one, her smile. There’s still pain in that green gaze, so much bottled pain that I know won’t be healed magically, but she still fights. She still wants to smile and be normal. She still gives her entire heart and secretly believes in magic, and that’s probably why she has that much pain.

That pain will be mine now, just like the rest of her.

I remain there like a fucking idiot long after she disappears inside.

After I fucked her in the shower this morning, I had a perfect plan to spend the day between her legs. But as much as Kim enjoys pain, she was sore to the point of moving funny.

So I came up with plan B – kissing her entire body, worshipping her mouth, then moving on to her cunt.

However, that plan can wait until she gets something she needs after being discharged from the hospital – going out, being out there, and believing in the confidence she’s slowly building without even realising.

That’s why I suggested the date. I smile at how her eyes rounded the moment I said ‘date’, but then she said Kirian is feeling bad and she’ll have to spend time with him. Now, it’s a date for three. Not that I mind. Kirian can be bribed by games and brownies.

That’s why she went back home – for a change of clothes and to get Kirian.

I go inside and pour myself a cup of coffee. I search under the cupboard for a bottle of liquor, anything will do. It doesn’t have to be vodka.

Even whiskey is game about now.

I slam the cupboard shut after recalling that Daddy dearest banned them from the house. I run a hand over my brows. People feel headaches after hangovers; I feel them when I don’t have my morning ‘coffee’.

“No alcohol. Get used to it.” Dad stands by the stairs. For the first time in ever, there’s no actual malice behind his words.

He’s wearing his pyjamas – that’s another first. Even if it’s the weekend, Dad always finds a dinner here, a charity there, a brunch somewhere.

Every occasion is a way in with people, and people are his speciality.

Just not this person right here.

“You know I actually keep a stash everywhere, right?” I lift an eyebrow. “Ahmed can’t find all of them.”

“I know that.” He rubs his jaw. “That’s why you’re going to rehab.”

“Sure thing, Dad,” I say with sarcasm. “I’ll finish whatever program then come back to do what I’m good at: ruining your career.”

“Ruining my career?” he repeats with the same level of my sarcasm. “Can’t you understand you’re ruining your life, not my career?”

I’m not an idiot. I know that. “If it’s a step closer to the great Lewis Knight’s fall, I’m happy to make sacrifices.”

For a second, he says nothing, just continues watching me as if I’m his worst enemy but also his closest ally. His life is lonely like that, despite all his party’s members and what-the-fuck-ever, he trusts no one.

“How about her?”

His question makes me pause. “Her?”

“Kim.” He rubs his jaw again before letting his arm fall to his side. “What do you have to offer her if you ruin your life? Her mental state is complicated enough. I won’t allow you to make it worse. Calvin won’t either.”

His true colours are showing now. At the end of the day, his actual biological child is the one who matters.

Dad has always asked about her, made sure she’s well taken care of, and he told Ahmed she and Kirian have free access to our house.