Somewhere inside a voice whispered, you survived, and now you have to live. I didn't know whose it was, certainly not my own.

It was morning again by the time I made it to the city. I wandered the streets for a long time, trying blankly to spot something familiar. Somewhere, Xander was here, but I didn't know where, and I didn't know how to find out. Kristi would have moved by now and Calder had told Xander to meet him somewhere, but I didn't know where. Kristi had said she knew people who might help us. I had to believe Xander was safe somewhere. I had to.

A police car drove by on the street and I started breathing raggedly, pulling myself into a doorway and pressing up against the wall until it had passed. Clive was still out there.

I wandered for a little while more until I saw a sign for the bus station. I looked bleakly at it and went inside where I asked how much it would cost for a ticket to Cincinnati. I couldn't think of one other thing to do, not that I could think very clearly at all. I had just enough money, so I bought a ticket, and sat in a plastic bus station chair, staring at the wall. Finally, I reached in my pocket and pulled out the locket, the only thing I had of any value, the only thing that might bring me safety. I studied it, turning it over and over, wondering if it could lead me to someone who would care about me. I sucked back a sob.

I boarded the bus for Ohio half an hour later. I sat in a seat by a window and closed my eyes. And again, I slept. It was the only thing that didn't hurt.

EPILOGUE

Calder

I was in Elysium. The light was golden and the air was warm and I had a spring to find. Only there wasn't supposed to be so much pain in Elysium. If I was in paradise, why was every part of my body crying out in agony? And why did it smell like death? I swallowed down the vomit trying to make its way up my throat.

"I've gotta grab your arm," I heard Xander say. And I screamed. "I'm sorry, brother. So damn sorry." Why was he crying? There weren't supposed to be any tears in Elysium either.

"I have to find the spring," I said. Only it came out, "Hash tofin the spr." My face didn't seem to want to move.

"Shh," I heard Xander say. "Don't talk. I've got you. You knew I'd come back for you, right?" He choked back what sounded like a sob. "I'm so sorry I was too late."

"Hash tofin the spr," I repeated, trying to make him understand.

Loud things were crashing around me and I felt more warmth on my skin, the light suddenly brighter.

"This is going to hurt. I'm so sorry, brother," Xander choked out once more, but I didn't understand why.

Then agonizing pain flooded my body as I screamed again, feeling myself being lifted upward. The world blinked out.