By the end of the whole bout, I was bruised and bloody, and though I was burning up with anger inside, keenly aware of the pain and the desire for vengeance taking hold of me, my body was as numb as my soul was aware.

No matter how I got beat and cut up, my body could barely feel a thing.

CHAPTER 17: SOFIA

“Sofia?”

Still in the library, I looked up to find one of the people I least expected to find there – the football team’s linebacker, Connor James. The first thing I immediately took notice of in the tall, dark senior was the fresh new shiner on his right cheek.

“Hey…” I muttered, not quite sure what to make of him approaching me. “What happened to you?” I pointed to his assaulted cheek with my pen. I was absent-mindedly fiddling with it while I read the same paragraph in my book for the fifteenth time.

“This? It’s nothing.” He looked almost timid, a reaction I found strange. He was usually one of the loudest, most outgoing guys in our class.

Is he blushing? I was beginning to find the encounter uncomfortable. Connor had barely spoken a word to me before. “Aren’t you supposed to be at football practice with Ben? Did something happen?”

He twisted his body to one side, the expression on his face showing his discomfort. “That’s kind of why I’m here… We had this epic battle at the locker room… Well, Ben’s at the clinic. He got banged up pretty bad. Thought you might want to know.”

What did you get yourself into, Ben? I urgently gathered up my belongings and stuffed them inside my bag. It’d been years since Ben got himself into a fight. It was way back in middle school, when one of the guys in class – a bully I always did my best to avoid – tried to kiss me against my will. The bully came out of the fight with a few scratches and a broken nose. Ben, on the other hand, got for himself a broken arm and rib.

Of course, Ben found a way to milk his injuries for all they were worth and stir himself into becoming more popular than ever, but after all the sermons he got from Amelia, Ben never got into a fight again.

That’s also when he started having martial arts lessons at the local gym. It didn’t take long for him to drag me to the Saturday lessons. I obliged him, because at that time, I never could say no to him, but it was how I realized that I was a pacifist at heart.

As I rushed through the school hallways, I couldn’t help but smirk at how useless those classes were to me. Certainly no use against vampires. Then again, I never actually had enough presence of mind to use what I learned against Derek or Lucas. Stopping in front of the clinic’s door, I found myself bothered by the thought that I never actually fought back. As much as you chastised yourself to not become the victim, that’s still what you were at The Shade.

I was disappointed and angry with myself when I twisted the knob of the clinic door and pushed it open. I let out a gasp the moment I saw Ben. He had a large black, purple and blue bruise occupying nearly half of the left side of his face. He also had a deep gash lining the right side of his torso.

“Ben…” was all I could manage to say. It came out in a breathless whisper. I wanted to grab him by both shoulders and shake some sense into him. I made my way to his side and brushed my thumb over the line of his jaw.

“What the hell were you thinking?” He refused to look me in the eye.

Our school doctor walked in and gave me a curt nod. “Miss Claremont, kindly step aside. This won’t take long.”

I got out of the doctor’s way and watched as he dressed Ben’s wound. “May I ask how you came upon this cut, Mr. Hudson?”

“Coach already told you, Doc. I got into a fight.”

“And your teammates cut you?”

“No… One of them tackled me to the ground… don’t even remember who… it was so crazy. I was trying to get away from him and my side rubbed against one of the benches. It’s just a scratch. Barely even felt it.”

Pacifist or not, I suddenly felt the urge to take the violent route and sock him in the jaw. The sight of his bare torso and the “scratch” he’d just added to all the scars that were already there was making my stomach churn.

“How did you ever get such ugly cuts?” The doctor stepped back after finishing up bandaging the gash on his side. He stared at Ben’s body, his face marred with concern. “What happened during your absence, Ben?”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I told the police and that other doctor who did my physical exam. I’d rather not talk about it.” Ben even had the gall to add flourish to his statement by flashing his biggest smile. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his body. He got up from the clinic bed, made his way toward me and took my hand. “Come on, Sofia. Let’s go home.”

I wanted to pull away from him, but the last thing he needed was to be dragged into a fight with me. I forced a smile at the school doctor as we brushed past him. “Thank you, Doctor.”

“Oh yeah…” Ben nodded the doctor’s way. “Thanks, Doc.”

We were out of the clinic and a good distance headed for the parking lot when I stopped walking and pulled at him to stop.

“What? Let’s just go, okay? I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Since when did you start getting into fights again, Ben?”

“What part of ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ don’t you understand, Sofia?”

I pursed my lips and nodded. I pulled my hand away from his grasp and began walking. “Let’s go then.” I didn’t miss the wounded look on his face when I passed by him.