“You just used me as a target for anger that has nothing to do with me. Don’t be mean to me because you are upset,” she said, her voice harsh. “It’s not fair to make other people pay for your emotions.”

Johan was glad that his driving skills were impeccable; otherwise he might have skidded off the road.

He prided himself on being honest with those he didn’t lie to, but he hadn’t been honest with himself either. He wasn’t being fair to Nya; he hadn’t tricked her into coming with him, but he’d certainly used their predicament to his advantage. He hadn’t forced her to like him, but every time he sensed his own affection growing too much he tried to push her away. He’d told her that they would be friends with each other. He wasn’t being a good friend, at the very least.

“I think you’d make a great teacher,” he said. “I also have lots of connections at nonprofits all over the world. Lots of them deal with education. I can ask around if you want.”

She didn’t respond and because he knew her, he knew why.

“I apologize. I promise never to take my anger or fear out on you again,” he said, then reconsidered. “I guess that’s extreme, since I’m human. I promise to try my hardest not to use the defense mechanisms I’ve usually relied on in relationships.”

“Defense mechanisms? So relationships are a battle?” She was mimicking his question from the first night in Liechtienbourg.

“The most dangerous battle,” he said, shifting gears as they approached a winding road. “Losing land or power or riches is nothing compared to some losses.”

Her hand came to rest on top of his on the gearshift. “You’re a lot more like your brother than I’d realized. Both of you can be real jerks when you’re scared.”

He smiled faintly. “You know, you might be on to something.”

“I told you. Official Johan Expert, at your service.”

They drove on in silence, and though tension still lingered in the car, mostly it was because they both seemed absorbed in their own thoughts. As the castle rose up in the distance, Johan wondered about the man who had approached Nya and Lukas. Why was Arschlocher even there? What had he wanted, if he wasn’t trying to hurt them, which would have been a terrible political move?

Now, with only the sound of the tires on the road, Johan again felt that nudge that something wasn’t quite right about this. He wondered if he would figure it out before everything fell apart.

Chapter 19

Nya knew what the envelope, delivered express Royal Thesolo Mail to her door in Liechtienbourg, would contain.

She was already irritable after a night spent tossing and turning alone in her bed, trying not to think about the lie she was living with Johan and his words in the car the previous day.

She should have ripped up the letter without reading and mailed back the pieces. Instead, she opened it, some part of her curious to see what new low her father had sunk to and another simply too silly to stop loving the man, no matter how much he’d hurt her.

My Dear Daughter,

I am still hurt beyond measure over the betrayal you have perpetrated. You know that when a child’s soul is in the clutches of evil, it disturbs the rest of those on the ancestral plain. If you do not care about hurting me, that is fine. But would you disturb the eternal rest of your own mother? Would you not grant her peace?

Your mother was a good traditional woman. She knew to listen to her husband, to put the wishes of her family first, and I do not understand how such an unfeeling, unnatural child could truly be hers. One who would do as she wishes with no care for her parents, living or dead. One who publicly debases herself with a man who would use her and discard her, while everyone laughs at her foolishness.

Come home, my daughter. Make things right. I would see you before I die, and I would know that you have stopped shaming your mother and me.

Nya stared at the letter. She calmly put it down and took a photo of it, then sent it to her group chat. She saw Ledi’s response, This motherfucker, before she ran to the bathroom. She wasn’t sick, though she thought she would be. Her skin felt clammy and she wanted to cry but sat on the floor fighting nausea instead. She was supposed to be getting ready for a solo excursion in Liechtienbourg, to an artisan’s village, but she considered canceling. It didn’t matter anyway—this was all just pretend, wasn’t it?

Unnatural child. Everyone laughs at her.

She didn’t know why she was so upset. She’d wanted a reaction from her father and she’d gotten one—the truth that she was a silly, useless girl who brought shame to her family.

She gripped her head in her hands and tried to remember that her father was a liar and he’d spent years passing his lies on to her. These weren’t her thoughts battering her so hard that she couldn’t get up. They were the hooks her father had embedded in her heart over the course of her life, waiting until he had opportunity to tug at them to reel her back in.

Her phone rang and she jumped, certain it was her father, then remembered he was in prison and she had any numbers originating from that facility blocked.

When she reached the phone, she saw it was Naledi.

“Hey.”

She waited for Naledi to ask if she was okay, but she didn’t.

“Look, I think you know not to believe your father, but I did want to point something out because, to be blunt, he’s fucked with your head for your whole life and there are some things you might not be up to speed on.”