“It’s not about that. He wasn’t cheating or fighting a drug addiction, Mare. He was undercover for the FBI. He was running with the mob, fighting at first, and then shaking down Vegas strip clubs and making threats. I couldn’t call you about it or text. We couldn’t whisper about it like gossip next to the pool while watching the kids play. Travis was being watched. Why would I tell you?”

“So you didn’t have to carry it alone.”

“I wasn’t alone,” Abby said. She looked at Travis with a small smile.

“That morning in St. Thomas?” I asked. “That was when you were recruited?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Travis said.

I rubbed the back of my head, my thoughts spinning. How had Travis kept this secret all these years? When he was traveling for the gym, and then when he took over Thomas’s job, it was always the FBI. That explained how they bought a house based on his personal trainer wages, but I still couldn’t believe they’d kept it from us.

“So why Thomas?” I asked. “Why did Thomas keep it a secret?”

Travis shrugged. “Mom. She made Dad promise to quit his job as a detective, and that we wouldn’t follow in his footsteps. But Thomas was born to do this job.” He spoke of Thomas with reverence, and I believed him, even though I still didn’t understand the lies.

“Jim would have understood, Trav. Surely, there’s another reason.”

Travis shrugged. “That’s the only reason he’s ever given me. He didn’t want to disappoint Dad. He didn’t want Dad to tell him not to pursue a career he was passionate about.”

America watched Travis speak, her eyes narrowing. She picked up on something I didn’t. “So Thomas knew that you were about to be arrested and talked someone in the Bureau into offering you a job because of your connections with Mick and Benny? Why not Abby?”

Abby chuckled. “Travis was capable of doing things for Benny I wasn’t. And Travis would have never agreed to that.” America nodded, but she still wasn’t satisfied. Something wasn’t adding up. They were still hiding something. “So now Thomas …” America trailed off. She did that with the boys a lot, hoping they would fill in the blanks.

Travis cleared his throat. “Was targeted, yes.”

“And that cut on your head?” I asked.

He traded glances with his wife. “I was, too. That’s why the agents came to Dad’s. That’s why they’re here. That’s why we have to stay together.”

“You automatically assumed they’d be after the rest of the family because they went after you and Thomas?” America asked.

“They weren’t after Travis,” Abby said. “He was in my car. They were after the kids and me.”

America covered her mouth.

Travis’s gaze fell to the floor. “The men who ran me off the road … They were Benny Carlisi’s men. They had pictures of us in the vehicle. All of us, our families, the kids ...”

“Why?” I asked. “Because your cover was blown?”

“I fucked up,” Travis said. “I killed Benny. They’re out for blood.”

“You killed him?” America asked, stunned. “My friend Travis, my husband’s cousin, my best friend’s husband, killed a mob boss? Did we somehow fall into an episode of The Sopranos? How the hell is this happening?”

“He didn’t have a choice,” Abby said. “It was him or Benny.”

“And Mick?” America asked.

“He was in protective custody. He’s disappeared.”

“Disappeared?” America screeched, looking at Abby.

“Keep your voice down,” Travis said.

America stood and began to pace. “So now what? We’ll be prisoners in our own home until they’re all caught?”

“It won’t be long,” Travis said. “I promise, Mare. They gunned down one of our agents—my brother. We won’t stop until they’re locked up or wiped out.” Travis crossed his arms across his chest. As big as he was in college, he was a beast now. His arms were thicker than my legs, his chest almost twice the width it used to be. He was solid muscle. I couldn’t imagine anyone looking at him and thinking it was a good idea to go after his family, and it was hard to believe Thomas had dragged him into this mess.

Travis noticed that I was deep in thought. “What is it, Shep?”

I shook my head.

“Say it,” Travis said.

“You said it was to keep you out of prison. Couldn’t Thomas have done that without asking you to go undercover? Every time you were on an assignment, you were in danger. Why would Thomas do that?”

“It wasn’t an easy decision for him,” Abby said.

“That implies he had a choice,” I said. “Did he?”

Travis shifted his weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

“What if you weren’t you?” America asked. “What if Abby had been involved with her first boyfriend Jesse, or Parker, or someone not as … capable as you?”

Travis shrugged. “Then if he would have been stupid enough to be involved in The Circle fights and found himself guilty of gathering a hundred students in a small basement with questionable exits, he would have gone to prison.”

“Or bartered with Abby for her cooperation and manipulation of Mick. I just …” I trailed off, hesitant to say anything more to hurt our family. “He could have found another way, if he wanted to. He could have, Trav. I realize it’s probably not the best time to voice that opinion, but I didn’t know back then. So I’m saying it now.”

Travis looked down and nodded, pulling in a breath through his nose. He looked up at me as if I had invited in a truth that had been living in silence on the edge of his conscience. “He knows that. I see it on his face every time he sees me on the job.”

“It seems a little too perfect,” America said. “Thomas is in the FBI, and his brother just happens to be dating the daughter of a man involved with a crime family they’re investigating?”

“Thomas got lucky,” Travis said.

“Lucky?” America snarled. “Did he get a promotion?”

Travis and Abby tensed.

“Did he?” America demanded.

“Yeah,” Travis said. “He did.”

“Un-fucking-believable,” America said, letting her hands fall to her thighs with a slap. “And you were okay with this?”

“No!” Travis said. His patience was running out. “No, I wasn’t okay with it. I did what I had to do.”

“Thomas sold you out,” America said, pointing at Travis.

“So Liis is coming here? Without Thomas?” I asked. “I’m assuming he’s in some secret federal hospital with a ton of security?”

“I can’t talk about that,” Travis said. “Not yet.”

“We’re your friends,” America said. “At least, we thought we were.”

Travis sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not about how much we trust you. It’s about who’s listening.”

“The truth is dangerous,” Abby said. “The more you don’t know, the better.”

“Abby,” America said, disgusted. “We’re in protective custody. We’re already in danger.”